You’re Always Here, You’re Never There

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Happy people

I once had a boyfriend that always said, “I’m always here, I’m never there.” At the time I didn’t think too much about it. But today as I was driving to work the idea popped into my head that this statement was very profound. It is the truest statement I have ever heard. If you really give it some thought you can see that it makes a lot of sense to those of us who are always striving to live in the now. If I am always here then I must be living in the now. Just like there is no tomorrow, because when tomorrow gets here it is actually today. Oh yes, you can think about tomorrow or the future but you are doing it now. And you can travel to there, but once you get there you are actually here once again. When you pay attention to where you are it is a much happier way to live. You don’t need to justify how you got here, only know that everything that has occurred in your life has brought you to this point in time and it is exactly where you are supposed to be. And you don’t want to think too far into the future because the what-ifs start popping up and you can get cross-ways of what you are wanting.

Life is supposed to be fun. Sure, there are things that we do that most people would consider not fun but if you really look for it there is an element of fun in everything we do. Half of the fun is looking for it and finding it. People spend too much time fretting over things they have no control over and this is what gets them all balled up. The only thing we have total control over, if we choose to practice it, is our emotions. Think about the animals of our world. They do not fret, not one little bit, especially our domestic pets. They are not worried about getting up on time for work or what they are going to wear today. They don’t ask anyone what’s for dinner, they just wait until the bowl is full and then they eat what’s there. They have no doubt that they will be taken care of. We need to feel more like that in order to free up our minds to think about more fun stuff to do.

Or think about it this way. What if you were a new born baby? You don’t worry that you will starve. You give a little cry out to mom or dad and they come with a bottle. And when your diaper is dirty they change you. And besides sleeping, those are the only things that you need. Life is simple and good. If you really stretch your imagination you can see that this is how the universe works. When you start believing that everything is always taken care of for you, you can relax and enjoy yourself. Use your emotions as your guide. The happier you are the more things will go your way. Once you practice this for a while you will never want to go back to fretting. You will realize what a waste of time it is and how bad it is on your wellbeing. You must realize that happiness is a choice and once you apply it to your everyday life you will feel better; not only emotionally but physically as well. I have said this before in many of my blogs that everything starts on the inside. That means that the only way to feel better is to fill yourself with happy thoughts and be as loving as possible. When you choose to share your love and joy you attract other like-minded people it becomes a constant loop of bliss. Why would anyone want anything less than that?

One thing that works well for me is to smile at myself in the mirror, and say, “I love you Deb.” When you love yourself fully you see it reflected back through the eyes and actions of others. It gets more and more exciting to me to see how loved I am through others. And it also reflects back from our domestic animals. They just seem to gravitate to me now in a way I have never known before. It makes me know that I am on my right track and I have nothing but great things in store for me. It is so easy for me to talk to people and play and have fun in everything I do. I look for the right person to sit next to on an airplane or at the lunch counter in a restaurant. When I purposely sit next to someone it always turns out to be a fun time. You may be thinking that you are too shy or embarrassed to talk to a stranger but believe me it is more fun than you think. You’re probably never going to see that person again so who cares if you act silly. In fact, being silly is what children do all the time and they don’t worry if someone is looking at them funny. Have you ever watched a young child at a doctor’s office playing and laughing, while all the adults are somber and serious? That’s because they know that there is nothing serious going on here. They are a great example of always being here. If I were you, I would stop worrying and fretting, and I would kick fear to the curb. Life is so good when you let it be. Give yourself permission to be free and take deep breaths when you feel overwhelmed. Line up with your inner being and see how great things, really are. Treat yourself the way you want to be treated and you will see that others treat you that way too.

I love my life so much that I can’t help but share what I have learned with all of you lovely people. And once you start filling yourself with this everlasting joy you will want to share it too. It becomes addicting and then contagious. But it is better than any drug that is out there. It is a high that will become a euphoric familiarity that you will want to cherish forever. Remember there is nothing serious going on here and you can’t get it wrong and you’ll never get it done. New thoughts and ideas will constantly be coming to you and life will continue to get better and better.

So what are we talking about here? We are talking about being present in the here and now and staying as happy as possible. Making better choices and looking for the fun in life. How much easier could it be? Be happy, be happy, be happy! And then be happy some more! Okay so now you got it. So go do it. Practice fun, joy and love. Life will change in what seems to be in miraculous ways, but in reality that is the way it is supposed to be. And one more thing, remember there is always great love here for you.

 

Forever, Your Friend,

Deb Mertan

 

 

 

Looking Through Rose Colored Glasses

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I know most people think that they need to look at what is and react to it whether it is something wanted or something unwanted. But the truth is that we all have a choice to react in any manner we desire. We honestly do create our own reality. And there are always two sides of everything, meaning that you can look at any situation as the cup is half empty or as the cup is half full. It is all a sense of perception. The empty signifies the negative side and the full signifies the positive side. So when you are looking at the full side you are focusing on the positive side and that is easy because you feel joy, but what do you do when you witness something unwanted? My suggestion is that you look away and find something, anything, more joyful to focus on. The more you practice this, the more you will attract more positive things, people and situations to come into your experience. This is what I like to think of as looking through rose colored glasses. I like to think about what I do want and not give much attention to unwanted things except to notice that they are unwanted. I then immediately shift my thinking to more pleasant thoughts even if it is something non-related to what I don’t want. Eventually when I have myself in a good frame of mind I can think of the wanted in a more prosperous way.

For a while now that is exactly what I have been doing and to tell you the truth I have never been happier. I can see now why people experience whatever it is they are focused on. After 9/11 I found myself watching the news intently and I was becoming more and more scared to live in my own country. I was sinking into a deep depression and I knew I had to do something drastic before I became totally paralyzed by my fear.

The first thing I did was to stop watching the news. I couldn’t take it anymore. They just kept talking about it in an endless loop and it got to be mind boggling. So as the days went on I found that by focusing on more pleasant things, like my children, I could feel joy enter my life once again. I truly believe that by this one act of looking away from unwanted truths I started finding my authentic self. And once I started down this path things started changing rapidly for me. And because I was being more selfish and caring more about how I was feeling about everything, things got a little hectic for a minute. I ended up leaving my husband just as the recession got started. Money got very tight and I could hardly pay rent. But I’ll tell you I was much happier than I had been in a long time. And I had faith that things would get better because life goes in cycles and this was just a dip in this time interval.

A short while later my husband passed on to the next phase of life and I became a widow. This made it so that I could collect his social security and his pension. This helped for quite a while but the recession was still on going and I guess I was still buying into the idea that we should all be suffering. It took me a while but as I was sinking into the abyss I remembered that this was not who I am. I am not a (woe is me) kind of person. That’s when I started looking for any way I could to raise my spirits. Instantly things started improving. Money started flowing more freely, my home situation improved, and my whole demeanor transformed for the better. I started reading everything I could find that would help me understand that I am truly the creator of my own reality, and I have the choice to see things, the way I want to, through rose colored glasses.

It has been a few years now and I am still on my beautiful path. So many wonderful things have happened and I know there is so much more to come. I have learned to see things in a much more loving way and I feel good 99.9% of the time. Keeping one’s self happy is a full time job and I for one am willing to make that sacrifice. I know what it feels like to be depressed and don’t wish that feeling on anybody. It is very true that it all starts on the inside. And once you get the hang of happiness you can’t go back. It just feels wrong.

My son is in his twenties now and he has a very good job, government related, and he wants so much for me to hate the government the way he does. But what he doesn’t understand is that by focusing on what he hates he is just perpetuating the unwanted and making himself miserable in the meantime. He asked me, “Why won’t you hate the government with me mom?” I told him it is because I want to be happy. I feel that it is easy for people to look at situations they don’t agree with and try to push them away, but all that does is make it bigger and more uncomfortable for the one pushing. We can’t control what other’s do but we can control how we react to it. What I mean is in order to feel better about a situation you need to look at the positive side of it, or the bright side so to speak. You know there are plenty of things the government does with our tax money that is really good. They build parks and highways for us to travel on. They also provide medi-cal for people that need medical attention and can’t afford it. And don’t forget food stamps for families in need of assistance. There are many more things like that for us to focus on, so you get the picture. I’m sure there are things that you could think of that you appreciate about the government.

In order to see things through rose colored glasses you must see things from the bright side. Sooth your anger, fear and hate by focusing on something pleasing to you and then look for positive aspects of what you are wanting, then watch and see how much happier you are and how your world is morphing right before your very eyes, just the way you want it to.

One thing we must always remember is that we can only control our own emotions. We cannot think, act or feel for another. Nor can any other think, act or do for us. We must all find our own way to happiness, and we must find a way of staying there as often as possible. Then and only then will we truly be the beings we are meant to be. Whoa! Did that hit you like it just hit me? I hope so because I really felt a jolt. So in essence what I got from this is that by staying happy I have the power to do, be or have anything I want to. And no one or anything can project any negativity on me that I do not desire. Keeping myself focused on what I do want, and staying happy on my journey to whatever that is, is all my work really is. I’m going to milk this feeling for a while. It is the most clear I have been in a long time. Not that I haven’t been picking up nuggets of clarity all along the way. But once in a while you get a glimpse of something that just sums up all the answers to questions that have been looming in the background, and BAM!, YOU KNOW! You just know. Right now, what I know is, that life is good and I’m doing great, and wellbeing is abundant, and it just keeps getting better as I focus and stay happy, no matter what anyone else is doing. I choose me! And I hope for all your sakes you choose YOU! Live the life you want no matter what anyone else thinks. They can’t think for you, only you know what is right for you. And that can’t be wrong. And when you live this way things will always work out for you. Remember there is great love here for you.

 

Your loving friend,

Deb Mertan

You also can find your path to joy by purchasing  my guide book,
” Choose a Powerfully Positive Life” 

What’s the Rush?

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In this day and age things seem to always be so rushed. Or at least that is the way I used to feel about time in general. There never seemed to be enough of it. I always felt that I was running around doing a million things at once and really never accomplishing anything in a significant way. Sure I got things done like laundry and dishes and regular everyday tasks. I always felt very organized but at the end of the day I was too tired to do any of the things I had always dreamed of doing, because there was no time. But like most people I thought this was perfectly normal. It wasn’t until I was much older and I became so overwhelmed in my everyday life that I started looking for ways to make myself feel better. That’s all I wanted was to just feel better, not good or fantastic because that was just too big of a leap. That’s when I started looking on the internet to find any way of making myself feel better. I found positive quotes, little exercises that you work at every day, and mantras that when repeated were supposed to bring your spirits up. Once I started utilizing these methods I was led to other ways of finding joy. They came in the form of books, articles, CD’s and even the Oprah Winfrey show. I really started paying attention to all the good things that were happening because of my new attitude and it was awesome! That’s also when I learned about the law of attraction and realized that it was real, and I was actually bringing everything I wanted into my life.

Now that I was aware of what was happening and that I was in control of my own feelings, I was noticing how time seemed to slow down and I could do so much more in the same amount of hours that I had thought to be too short. Even traffic seemed to be lighter when I drove on the freeways. I never seemed to be late to anywhere I had to be. It seemed that the slower I went the more time had. I stopped feeling that angst about having to hurry for any reason. Haven’t you ever seen someone on the road weaving in and out of traffic trying to get ahead of everyone else? Only to pull up to the red light and they are right next to you. All that rushing around really did no good. If they had just stayed calm and went with the flow of traffic they would have had a much better trip.

Another thing I noticed is that things were coming to me as I was ready for them. It’s like you wouldn’t want everything you’re going to eat in your life to come all at once. You want to savor each meal and enjoy the taste and texture, swirl it around in your mouth and relish every bite. That is how I feel about everything now. I want to adore all there is to see and do and experience. Life is so good when you slow down and let it come to you in increments. Have you ever heard the saying, “Stop and smell the roses”? Well that is what it means. Stop and look around at this beautiful planet and really see the beauty. People sometimes get so busy that they never even pay attention to the sunset. They forget that life is supposed to be fun, and they get so twirled up in what they have to do that they keep their head down and their nose to the grind stone, and that’s not fun.

As humans we sometimes make things harder on ourselves than need be. What causes this, is the belief that we need to please others rather than ourselves. When we try to please everyone we end up pleasing no one, especially ourselves. It’s time for all of us to start being more selfish about how we feel, and if it don’t feel good, don’t do it. It is time to understand that you and only you can change your whole world.

Let’s talk about other things we as humans might be in a rush about. Like romance for instance. I know that the idea of being in love is beautiful, and we are all seeking it in some way or another. But when we just hook up with someone because we want a relationship so badly that we just settle for the first person who comes along, it doesn’t always pan out the way we would like it to. I’m not saying that love at first sight doesn’t ever happen because I have met people that knew they had found their right mate right away, but that is rare. What I am saying is, when we’re out in the dating world we should take our time and figure out what we really want before we make a full-on commitment. Like I said, “What’s the rush?” If you go into a relationship with no expectations or pre-conceived ideas of what the other person should or should not do and just let it unfold naturally you will be able to relax and have fun, no matter if it is the right one or not. There are so many people in this world, so why not give a few of them a try and see how they fit for you. In the mean time, you can figure out what works and what doesn’t work. It’s all relative and only you will know what fits best for you.

If you give it some thought, can’t you see that rushing really gets you nowhere? There is so much to see and do along your path of life. The journey is the only thing that matters. Once you get whatever it is you are after it will only thrill you for a moment and then you are going to be off on the next excursion to find something new to do or have. It will never end because life is infinite and so are we.

It’s time to learn how to chill and get back to basics. There are so many ways to relax and have fun. Heck even laying in the grass and staring at the clouds can be fun. I love to see how many animals I can find in the clouds as they slowly drift by and change right before my very eyes. The simplest things can bring such joy. Even just sitting on the front porch with a cup of coffee, watching the sun set is exhilarating to me. Time is precious and so are you. It is so important to take care of yourself because you are the only one who can. It is not anyone else’s job to make you happy, nor is it yours to make anyone else happy. Yes, it’s nice to be nice to others but not at the expense of your own happiness. Now is the time to look for ways to invigorate yourself and live life to the fullest. Once you start finding things to make yourself happy, you will see that everything you want will unfold for you. The trick is to stay happy as much as you possibly can and life will be so good. Worry and fret will be a thing of the past and joy will replace all the ugly feeling that has plagued you. Life is supposed to be good, fun, joyful, happy, and exciting and any other word you can think of that means alive.

So there you have it. You know now that there is no rush. Time will flow so smoothly once you let go of the angst that causes stress and worry. You really can create your own magical world once you slow down and take time to smell the roses. And always remember there is great love here for you.

Love,

Deb Mertan

You can get my guidebook “How To Choose a Powerfully Positive Life” Here.

Re-train Your Brain

Love is the Highest Power; It's in your hands to freely give1 Comment

debs blog pics retrian your brain

 

 

So, if you have been following my blogs you know about the law of attraction. So you also know that you get what you think about whether it’s good or bad. What you focus on, even if it’s for a short period of time, will become your experience. The law is always fair and consistent. It’s like when you’re dating a certain type of person and for some reason it doesn’t work out, so you move on to the next person only to find the same person in a different body. And until you decide it’s time to clean up your vibration, meaning your point of expectation, you will continue to attract that same person over and over again. When you realize this it is time to re-train your brain. It’s not as hard as you might think. It just takes a little practice and some patience.

So let’s say that you just broke up with your lover and you are feeling lost and alone. But that is because you are using that person as your source of happiness, and that’s why you feel out of sorts and a little un-balanced. Now let’s look at it another way. That person wasn’t the right one for you. They were just another piece of the puzzle, letting you know what you don’t want, therefore helping you figure out what you do want. And when you do look at the situation in this way you can actually feel the happiness grow inside you a little bit each day, until you realize that the happiness you were seeking was right there all along. This is you loving yourself more fully. And the more you do that the better you’ll feel. When you are selfish enough to care about how you feel and you practice that often you will never go back to feeling down, at least not without knowing what to do about it. That’s when it’s time to look for a new mate. But no matter what,if you date one person or a thousand people you are exploring and figuring out what is best for you. Isn’t that nice to know. And each time you part ways with a potential mate you will understand that it is just part of the process and there is nothing wrong. In fact, it couldn’t be more right. Keeping yourself on an emotional high is the only way to live. This could seem a little tricky at first but once you get the hang of it you can create anything you want in your life. I like to think of it as my own little world. Each person is in their own little world. None of us thinks exactly alike. We all have our own ideas and our own feelings about what is right and what is wrong for ourselves. No one else can insert their feelings into another person. Oh, they can influence another to manipulate them to do something, but eventually that will upset the relationship, and it will dissolve or fall apart. If you remember to live and let live and stop judging and condemning, and stop making anyone responsible for your happiness, life will be so much fun. It is so important to know this, because life can be whatever you want it to be as long as you take responsibility for your own joy. And let other people be responsible for theirs. The universe is very tricky in that it can help every one of us have what we want without taking anything away from anyone else. It has a way of blending us all together in perfect harmony when we are in a happy state of mind.

I know that if you are new to this concept that it could be a little un-settling to think of being your own boss. But I promise you it will be very rewarding once you get into the rhythm of happiness, and you let it run to you and through you. It’s like a stream that flows swiftly and you put your boat in the water and relax, the flow will carry you along with ease and you won’t even need paddles. But if you were to turn the boat up-stream and start paddling it would be a very difficult struggle. You can tell which way you are going by the way you feel. If you feel good about what you are thinking, doing, or who you’re with, then; you are definitely going with the flow. So, keep that in mind next time something upsets you. Pay attention to all your feelings and gravitate toward the good ones and steer clear of the not so good ones. Just learn from them and move forward. That is how you re-train your brain.

Here’s another example; Let’s say you are working a job that you hate. Yes, it pays the bills but it is not very rewarding. Every day you wake up with a grouchy attitude because you know you’re going to have another crappy day. Things will never get better for you when you wake up expecting to have a bad day. So how do you change that? You start by focusing on something you can feel good about, even if it is not related to work, it will help to focus on that. You could try by telling yourself before you slumber at night that you will release all resistance about work, and when you wake up in the morning try thinking about how you want the day to go. You may only make it to breakfast before you think of something un-wanted, but that’s okay, it takes practice. Just laugh it off and try again the next day. It will get better. As you keep doing this you will notice a change in the way you feel at work. And when you do feel better at work you might find that there are aspects of your job that you actually like, or you may find an opportunity to get a new job that you really love. But you must find your inner happiness first or you will just keep finding the same situation, just different faces and different places. It’s like the guy that keeps doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. Or think of it like this, Or you could say that if you don’t change the vibration of your thought patterns you will just be taking yourself with you, and you’ll end up in a loop of anguish.

You know it doesn’t have to take too long to change to a different mindset. It’s all up to you. The more you practice the faster it will change, and eventually it will become the norm for you to look for and find things that bring you joy.

And here’s the last thing I’d like to mention. Whenever you want to start a project and you don’t know how it’s going to come or who will bring it or where the money will come from, don’t worry. Worry is not necessary. It only slows things down. Let the ideas come to you and relax your mind through meditation, or petting your cat, or taking a walk in nature. And when the inspiration hits you to make the next move, then; take action. The money will find its way to you. Keep thinking about why you want what you want, how it will make you feel and what about it will be fun. I promise you that when you approach anything in this manner all the components will be attracted to you. Just pay attention to how you feel and if you start to get a little overwhelmed take some deep breaths and remember to remember to go within, find a happy thought and bring yourself back to center. Think of it like this, the universe knows what you want and knows how to bring it to you. That’s how the universe works. It may take you down some windy roads but when you look back you’ll see that everything that happened was necessary to bring you to where you are now. Remember that you are the boss of you and you truly deserve all the happiness in the world. You don’t need to wait until you’re old to start traveling and getting all the goodies you have ever wanted. You just need to re-train your brain to know and believe that you can be, do or have anything you want. Think big and know that you are a very worthy being. Whether it’s a lover, a job, or an invention, or anything else you desire, you can have it. All you have to do is figure out what you want and then let yourself have it. You know it’s as easy to create a button as it to create a castle. Life is good when you let it be, or should I say if you expect it to be. Remember to be your own boss and feel your way to bliss.

So are you feeling good yet? I think you are, or at the very least you’re feeling better. Be kind to yourself and everyone else too. And remember there is great love here for you.

Your friend forever,

Deb Mertan

You too, can experience a  positive life flow with my guidebook, “How to Choose a Powerfully Positive Life”

One of a Kind Painting

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There is a new painting every day. Each morning as I drive to work and the sun is rising in the sky, I get the awesome pleasure of viewing the most miraculous scenes. The sky looks like a gigantic painting that changes continually, every second growing more and more vivid. Each time I look away and then look back at it I see a new painting. You know of course that we can’t own these paintings, but that they are there for all to see and enjoy. They just keep moving and rearranging themselves to mesh with the beauty of the earth, showing us every crease in the mountains as the sun rises and the shadows fall where they may. And the colors blossom as the pinks and the greys and the blues blend with the greens and browns with specks of colorful wild flowers scattered randomly like sprinkles on a cupcake. The world begins to shine as the sun so intelligently rays down upon us to bring to our attention how abundant we really are. Abundance comes to us in many ways not just monetary gain. It’s in everything around us. When you really think about it you could say, and really mean it, that we are abundant in oceans, and mountains, and sky, and birds, and trees, and friends, and family and so much more. I’m sure you as an individual can think of a lot more abundance in your life. When you start viewing life in this way, and realize that there is no ownership of any of it, it’s on loan so to speak, and it is always here for all to appreciate.   And by seeing everything with a cup half full attitude you will actually, greatly, positively relish your life. Now doesn’t that sound delicious?

You know, when you stop clinging on to possessions and start sharing your things and talents, the monetary abundance will naturally come. I know this sounds weird, but it is true. The more you don’t cling to things and people the more things you want and people you love will flow into your life. Tricky eh? But once you try to own it or force it, that’s when things start to go south and you end up losing out. What I mean is, hold on loosely but don’t let go. If you cling too tightly you’re going to lose control. That’s a verse in a song and it always made a lot of sense to me. Have you ever had a mate that you loved so much that it hurt? And then it ended and your world turned upside down. It’s like the earth opened up and swallowed you whole. That is because you were so dependent on that person to be your source of joy and happiness, and when you put that kind of pressure on another person it is bound to fail. But now think about a friend that you care about. You love this person but there is no pressure on the relationship because you understand that they are their own person and you accept them for who they are. You don’t need them to do or act any certain way for you to love and appreciate them. And if for some reason you part ways it would be a little sad, or not, but it would not destroy your whole world. It’s because you had no deep emotional attachment. When you treat everything with this attitude life will flow with ease.

If you really think about it life is always changing, second by second, just like the sky. We can’t really hold onto anything. The most we can do is be appreciative while it is here and when it’s gone think of it with fondness and be thankful for the part it played in this life that you created. Nothing is ever a waste of time because we always learn something new with each experience we have. Maybe if you start examining your life and see all the paintings that you have created you will find that it all fits together like a giant jig-saw puzzle. This painting connects to this painting then this one and so on. You’ll see how all of it fits together to bring you to where you are now. Now is all we have so why not make it the best now you can? The more I live in my now the happier I get. My main goal is to be happy so when I look around at all the abundant beauty there is for me and all to see I feel very joyful.

I actually like to think of myself as a one of a kind painting. I am a constant changing canvas, and as the years go by I see myself improving with age. Every wrinkle and every line on my face reminds me of the wonderful life I have led. I’m not saying that I never had troubles or woes but I now see all of it as the journey that brought me to this place right now. It truly is the journey, not the destination that brings the joy we are all seeking. By the time I leave this world my whole body will tell the story of who I really am. The person I choose to be is a happy joyous loving caring being. And no matter how old I get I will be a great example of what an on purpose person is all about. I will paint the last and final painting of my life as a person that lived life to the fullest. And I won’t be taking anything from this life with me. I will leave it all behind for someone else to use and enjoy. And once I pass through the veil that separates my human form from my infinitely intelligent spiritual form, I will never look back, but I will check-in every once in a while to see what’s new. And I will smile down on my loved ones and send them all my love.

I really don’t see why more people don’t think like this. They save their money all their lives and hope that one day, maybe after they retire, they will be able to travel. But now is someday. Think about all the people that wait, and when the time comes to do all those things they were planning to do, they’re too old or too sick to do any of it. Or the people that retire and don’t have anything to do so they just die, never really have lived. Or what about the people that are born with some kind of medical problem and instead of trying to find a way to enjoy their lives they sit in a chair with a remote in their hand, watching life go by on television. They are so afraid of dying that they never really live. Life is supposed to be fun and adventurist and it can only happen for you if you let it. It’s time to be brave and find your bliss and paint a new picture every day. It doesn’t have to be some grandiose painting but it does have to be your own. The more you play with this idea the more fun you will have and the better life will be for you.

I guess I rambled on long enough for this one blog. There will be plenty more to come though. I hope you find what you are looking for and that this blog gave you a little boost to do just that. My only wish for all who are seeking their bliss is that they find it and milk it for all its worth. So that when you do leave this world you will have led the most awesome life you could ever think of. And what could be better than that?

Remember there is great love here for you.

With much love,

Deb Mertan

Purchase my guidebook to learn how you can :”Choose a Powerfully Positive Life”

 

 

PMS, Not What You Think…

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pms-godzilla-pms-hormones-women-demotivational-poster-1225914585-1

 

 

I know when people hear the acronym PMS they think of premenstrual-syndrome, and you can see why. PMS has been the curse of a lot of women, therefore their husbands and children, have suffered through it too. But that is not what this blog is all about. Yes the acronym is the same but I am giving it a whole new meaning. I am calling it pre-manifestational-syndrome. Let me explain. You know, if you have been reading my blogs, that I am a true believer of self-manifestation. And there is nothing we all can’t be, do, or have as long as we focus on what we do want, and not on what we don’t want. I’ll use the analogy of the corn seed planted in the ground. You logically know that once the seed is planted that there is a process that could take weeks or even months that needs to occur before you’ll see the full manifestation of the ears of corn on the stalk. If you were to get impatient and dig up the seed before it has a chance to grow you will kill the whole plan, dream or process. But if you wait patiently and watch for the signs of the corn coming, like the first sprigs of leaves poking through the ground, and then the little yellow balls that form just before they start forming into ears, and then voila, you can actually pick and eat them.

But wait, now you have no more corn. Oh dear, what to do now? Well if you really think about it we experience this similar scenario all the time. You see once you get what it is you are wanting it becomes old news. And yes it pleases you for a moment but then you find something else to go after. And if you are in this PMS (pre-manifestational-syndrome) state of mind eventually that will manifest as well. And once that shows up we are off to the next thing we want. It’s when we try to force things to come that we kill the whole process. I guess kill is too strong a word, it’s more like stifle. So the trick is to relax and let the universe do its thing, because it knows what you want and knows how to bring it to you. It is so fun to watch as all the components come together to bring you whatever you desire no matter what that may be. It will become a manifestation that not only you can see but others can as well. It’s almost magic. And it is oh so fun when you watch for the signs and know that you are in sync with your desire, and then see it appear right before your very eyes. But it’s not magic, it is the way it is supposed to be. And the only reason anybody wants anything is because they think it will make them happy. And since happiness is the goal, why not just be happy? Appreciate what you have and where you are in life and watch as it just keeps getting better and better. Once you get the idea to stop taking score of where you are and what you have or don’t have, and realize that keeping yourself happy is the path to everything else you want, life will just seem so easy and fun.

Now let’s talk about how to do this. As we all know there are plenty of things out there that can lead us down an ugly path. So how do you stay happy? By looking at something else that is more pleasing. When you focus on more pleasing things you will actually make it easier to find solutions to problems, rather than focusing on the problem, therefore perpetuating the difficulty. Nothing good ever comes from dwelling on the negative side of anything. As you can see there are two sides to everything. There is no dark without light, no good without bad, and no happy without knowing what sad really is. But once you experience the not wanted it is up to you to look away, bring yourself to a happy state of mind, then and only then, address the situation from a place of love and therefore bring a solution.

I know I’ve mentioned this in other blogs, but it bears re-iterating. What would unconditional love do? When we do everything from a place of love and appreciation life just flows more smoothly and we feel good most of the time. And when we have those rare moments of not so happy times we now know what to do about them, and we can bring ourselves back to a better frame of mind more swiftly.

So next time you hear the acronym PMS think about what you have been wanting and if you have been on the positive side or the negative side of it. You will know by the way you feel when you are thinking about it. And watch for the signs that are revealed to you all day every day that will lead you to wherever it is you want to be. Trust that the universe is always communicating with you and is always on your side no matter what. But remember you will get what you think about whether it is bad or good. So go within and find that happy thought, let it gestate, and then move forward. Life is so good when you allow it to be. You are the boss of you so never forget that. Leave everyone else out of the equation when you are finding your bliss, and miraculously you will attract like-minded people into your realm, and life gets even better. Seriously when life seems like it’s at its best it can get better, really! Believe me, I have been experiencing this for a while now, and just when I think life couldn’t get any better, IT DOES! There is no limit in this infinite universe. You are the only block of ANYTHING you want. You have all the magic inside you right now, if you only believe it and then know it. It’s all up to you. Now no more excuses about why your life is not what you want it to be. Get happy and watch all the people and things that you desire fall into place just the way you want them to. This is not airy-fairy chit-chat. This is for real. I know because I am living proof. I am so happy right now and I know there is so much more to come. You can say I am excited about NOW and EAGER for more. But Now is where it’s at and when the more comes it will be the “Now of then”. It’s all happening now, and now and now, get it. Love who you are and where you’re at and watch it grow like the corn stalk that brings you that ear of corn. It’s so fun and liberating to stay happy and let others find their joy without judgement or condemnation. Live and let live is my motto.

So now you know what to do and what to watch for. Be kind to yourself. Don’t get mad when you have an off day. Press the reset button before you sleep and wake up in a new frame of mind. Practice being your authentic self then life will be so amazing.

See my guide book to “Choose a Powerfully Positive Life”

Remember there is great love here for you.

Your friend,

Deb Mertan

Momentum

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Debs Momentum pic

 

 

I have mentioned the word momentum in some of my blogs, but I really want to impress upon you how important momentum is. Have you ever had a great idea that just gave you goose bumps all over your entire body, only to lose the feeling after putting doubt on your path? Well the reason for this is that you are used to thinking that good things don’t happen to people like you. You probably got a pretty good negative momentum going and it’s very strong. Maybe you picked up the idea that things are not supposed to work out for you from a parent or a teacher, and it’s been stuck in your mind all this time, or is it? What I mean by that is, that we all have the power to change our old beliefs or habits. You know that a belief is just a thought you keep thinking, don’t you? And it only becomes a truth if you let it. So how do you change the direction of momentum? You start one step at a time. Even a thousand mile journey starts with the first step. It is possible, but it takes a willingness to think another thought until it becomes your new belief, therefore your new truth.

Now that I understand how the law of attraction works I can see why people are where they are in their lives. I can tell by the way they talk and by the results they achieve. This applies to good lives and bad lives. When someone is a complainer and acts like a victim they just keep attracting more of the same. It’s just same results with different faces. If you haven’t changed what’s on the inside what happens on the outside can never really change, it’s the law! It always knows what you are thinking and more importantly, what you are feeling. It’s like when you are yelling at someone in an angry tone but saying, “Don’t you know I love you?” There is a mixed message there because the feeling doesn’t match the words.

So how do you get your momentum going in a positive direction? You pay attention. What I mean by this is you see how it feels when you say it or do it, whatever it is. If it feels good then you are on the positive trail, but if it feels bad you need to re-direct your thoughts or words to match the good feeling. For example, if you are hating on someone, you are feeling bad as well. So in order to feel better about that person you either need to ignore them or try to find something about them that you like. It may take a few tries but that’s okay too. After all, Rome wasn’t built in a day, right? The more you practice finding good in other people the more good people you will find.

And another thing, you get what you expect to get. It’s like when something bad happens and you say, “I knew that would happen.” Well it happened because you expected it to. So why not start expecting good things to happen? It works both ways.

But sometimes momentum can be so intense that you just can’t stop it. Unless, of course, you come to the realization that you are the only one with the power to do something about it. And there are those people that never do get it, like Jim Morrison of the rock band “The Doors.” He had a destructive momentum going on. No matter how many people loved him and tried to help him he couldn’t stop the drinking and drugs. Oh, he would try to stop, and it would last for a little while, but he would always return to drugs and alcohol. At one point he even went to jail for 4 months because he supposedly exposed his penis on stage, which was never proven, and used profanity. Of course, he was clean when he got out, but that too was short lived. When someone keeps going back to the bad behavior it is because they have not taken the time to change their thinking pattern. They let what they see be their reality instead of creating their own reality. If they understood the law of attraction they would want to change the way they feel about everything.

Now I’ll tell you a story about positive momentum, mine. Although my life is pretty amazing right now it hasn’t always been. And even though I have always been a student of positivity.  I didn’t understand it the way I do now. It all started after my husband passed away. I felt like my life was falling apart and I couldn’t seem to make ends meet. It seemed like I was crying every day and nothing was making any sense. So I actually sat myself down and had a long talk about getting back on track. The first thing I did was look for things on the internet that would help lift my spirits. I found some processes that really seemed to work and as I continued to look for new ways of feeling good, things miraculously started changing for me. It has only been 6 shorts years since that horrible time and I now own my own home. Believe me this has been one hell of a journey. In a good way. I went from almost being evicted to owning my home, what a ride. I have finally learned what it takes to make my life my own creation, and that is to keep myself happy and not try to fix anything, because there is nothing wrong or broken. At first the momentum was slow going but as I continue to practice feeling good and being happy things are moving much faster now. I love the feeling of inspiration I get as I trust that things are always working out for me. I not only believe that, I know it. Once you get to the place of knowing it just keeps getting better and better. I know that I am worthy, and I know that I am good and I know that I can have, do or be anything I choose. I know now that every time negative thoughts come to me all I need to do is stop the thought and find something else to focus on. Stop the doubt before it starts, so to speak. I pay attention to how I feel about everything. Have you ever heard the expression, “What would Jesus do?” Well here’s a new way of saying that, “What would un-conditional love do?” When you start loving everything and everyone you will understand what I know to be true. When you let go of anger and judgement you release stress and hatred. When we are children we accept all others as equals. That is until we are taught to be hateful and judgmental. We all need to get back to that carefree time and stop worrying about what someone else is doing or not doing, and focus on what makes us happy. If we all did that we would all be living blissful lives. You think I’m kidding? I’m not, and you can bet on that. Words do not teach, but life experience does. All I’m saying is start really paying attention to how you feel about everything in your life. If you are going to a job every day that you hate you can’t be feeling good. Or if you are in a relationship that is full of struggle that can’t feel good either. So you have some choices to make in order to get back on the positive path. You can either, find something about that situation that pleases you, and focus on that, or you can start looking for what you really want and work toward that. Either way you will be moving in a direction that you can figure it out along the way. You’ll know what feels good or not. This is the journey and that is the best part of all. If you look for the fun stuff and keep yourself in a good frame of mind you can’t lose.

Now let’s talk about un-conditional love a little more. You need to love yourself with that same mindset. It is important to be very kind to yourself and not beat yourself up over dumb things. Especially when you first start changing your beliefs. Whenever you have a relapse moment just laugh it off and eventually you will change the way you think and speak. It’s a process, but one worth doing. And if you ever have any self-image concerns don’t focus there. I’m sure there is something about yourself that you at least like, if not love. When you start focusing on the things you like the other things just start getting better too. You will be inspired to do something, like cut your hair in a stylish fashion. Or to buy some different clothes that feel friskier. These are just suggestions but I think you get the gist. If you allow it, your body will be whatever you want it to be. Again, it’s the law. Remember, it’s all an inside job. Your feelings are your navigational system and you should really listen to them if you want to live an awesomely happy life. And get that momentum going in a positive direction by feeling your way to joy. That’s really all there is to this. It’s not hard, but it is time consuming. In fact, it is a whole new way of life. But once it becomes natural to you you’ll know and you’ll never go back the other way again.

So go on now and make yourself happy. It’s the least you can do for the good of mankind. Live and let live and life will flourish right before your eyes. And always remember, there is great love here for you.

Your Friend,

Deb Mertan

Would you like a book that shows you how to get started with a positive journey with the law of attraction?

That Sneaky Doubt

Love is the Highest Power; It's in your hands to freely give1 Comment

Whiplash

 

I know that it is easier said than done when someone is constantly telling you to think positive. What about all the negative things that go on every day in our lives? We grow up watching our parents worry over money or some other out of control situation, but really it’s normal for things to be this way. This is where positive thinking comes in. It is our reactions to these situations that makes the difference. Think about it, what good does it do to worry or stress out about anything. In fact you are actually doing more harm than good when you react in this manner. Maybe some parents handled things with an attitude of fear and hopelessness which in turn would rub off on the children. But the ones that handled it with, “Oh, this is just another challenge to deal with”, attitude, taught the children that any situation can have a silver lining. Unfortunately more parents were doom and gloom type folks so it is hard for a lot of people to see the forest for the trees.

I happened to come from a doom and gloom family. My father was a big time gambler and my mother was struck with a debilitating disease and died when I was in my early twenties. There are 5 siblings so the fighting was never ending and I couldn’t wait to move out on my own to finally get some peace and quiet. When I finally did move out it gave me the calmness I needed to work on myself and find my true path in this life. I read books, learned to meditate and even joined a gym to get myself balanced in all directions. Things seemed to be going well for me in all aspects of life except in the love arena. It seemed that I was always finding guys that didn’t want to fully commit to me. I felt it was because I was ahead of my time and I just needed to find someone that could understand me. I actually did get married in my early thirties, but only because I wanted children and I happened to find someone that wanted children too. I had been running my own business for about ten years at that time, and was quite successful at it so I knew that even if it didn’t work out with this guy I could take care of myself and a child, so I went for it. We married and settled into a dull routine, and I stayed for twenty years. But one day I woke up and said, “I can’t do this anymore”. By now I was in my early fifties and I didn’t want to waste any more of what was left of my youth. I still felt young and energetic and I wanted to explore life to the fullest, so I left my husband. This was at a time when the recession hit hard and I was barely making any money. I ended up in a one bathroom, three bedroom house with eight other people besides me. This was a challenge but somehow we made it work. I had two teenage children now and things got so tight that I was feeling very low and out of sorts. We were there for a year and a half before I got a call that my husband had died. It was quite a shock, but it was also a blessing in disguise. Because we were still married I got his pension and Social Security. This gave me enough money for my two kids and me to move out on our own. We were all very happy about that because it was a chance for a fresh start. We found a four bedroom house which gave me an extra room to rent out to a boarder, which in turn gave me a little more money to keep my house hold going for quite some time.

The recession was still in effect but we were doing alright for a while. Then part of the Social Security ran out and they were only giving me money for my son. I was still struggling with my business and I felt my faith fading. Not only that but my tenant moved out suddenly and that left another hole in my income. Needless to say my doom and gloom was taking over and I felt hopeless. Then when my son turned eighteen and they stopped his Social Security, and that was the straw that broke the camel’s back.  I was sinking into a deep depression and I didn’t know what I was going to do.

That wasn’t the worst part, now I was being evicted from the house after two years and I didn’t know if anyone else would rent to me with that on my record. I decided to do something drastic. If I was going to turn this mess around I had to feel myself with hope and faith. I began by looking up ways to lift my spirits no matter what was going on around me. I read mantras, quotes and stories of people that had been down and lifted their selves back up. I learned little tricks, like making a list of ten things I loved about myself and reading it every day before I left the house. I would smile at myself in the mirror and say, “I love you” to my reflection. Almost instantly I found myself in a better frame of mind, it took a couple of days to really get the ball rolling, but it was rolling. At first I started noticing little things changing. Like people being extra nice to me and most of them were strangers. Then my landlord called and said he knew I was having trouble with money so he wanted to give me a month’s free rent. I was astounded. Unfortunately I was so far behind in everything that the free rent was just a minor fix, but it was the beginning of my new understanding of positive thinking. As long as I kept this up things could only get better. I made it a rule in my home that there would be no more doom and gloom and we were to all help support each other whenever one of us felt that way.

Well I fell behind in the rent again and the landlord was forced to try the eviction once again. But this time I wasn’t scared and I calmly sat down to think about my options. My daughter was old enough now that she could get us a place to live in her name if it came down to it, and that’s when the miracles really started to happen. All of a sudden my phone rang and it was a friend of mine that owned a rental property. She said that her tenants just gave notice that they were moving and she wanted to know if I wanted to rent her place. Well of course I said yes. By the time my court date came I was ready with a plan of action to get everything in order to go the way I wanted it to, and it did. I did not waver in my quest to get things on the right track and lo and behold everything went according to plan.

Well it has been a couple of years now since all that went down and I have to say that life just keeps getting better and better. Oh sure I have to keep reminding myself to think positive, especially when something goes awry and I start feeling that sneaky doubt try to works its way into my mind, and it will try. That is where remembering to remember that I am in control of me, not the world around me, I am in my own world, just like everyone else is in their own world. I choose to be happy and to believe that anything is possible. I have seen it with my own two eyes and I will never waver ever again no matter how events unfold in my life. In fact I have given my past life new meaning so that I can see the positive that came out of it, like if this didn’t happen then that couldn’t have happened. And the future is unknown so I can make it anything I want it to be. I let my life unfold a little at a time so that I don’t get over anxious and worried. It does no good to feel these ugly feelings when you could just choose to feel good all the time.

So when you choose to be happy and that sneaky doubt comes knocking on your door, just say, “No thank you!” and move on to the next happy thought. Just so you know I have written a whole workbook on how to get to this place in your life, it’s called, “Choose a Powerfully Positive Life”. You can find me on the Amazon Kindle. I hope this story has given you hope that life can be exactly what you want it to be, because it can!  So, until next time…

With all my Love, Deb Mertan

See my “Choose a Powerfully Positive Life” workbook