Have you ever noticed how the bad things in life get so much attention? Like when there is a disaster the media jumps on it and repeats it over and over again until we are inundated by it. That’s all we as a whole world can think about. Like 9-11 for instance, it just about drove me into a deep depression, so much so that I literally had to stop watching and listening to all news reports. Now I’m not saying that we should ignore these awful events that come up, I’m saying that we should acknowledge that they happened and then focus on how to get things back on track in a positive way. When we keep focusing on how horrible it was we tend to bring more horrible stuff to us. Instead we should stop all repetitive news reports and talk about what we are doing to rebuild and protect our country from now on. Yes we will grieve, and rightly so. But we can’t let it consume us. That’s when we become weak and defenseless. I’m also not saying that we should ever forget what happened because we lost a lot of good people during that time, but we have to move on for the sake of the world. Situations like 9-11 are not the only bad things that people dwell on. What about serial killers? Why do we give them so much attention? Yes it is good to know when we need to be more cautious, but then the media takes over again and that is all that you hear about for days or even weeks sometimes. That killer is in his glory now because he is on the news and everyone knows his name. I know that is a sick way of looking at it but it’s true. He wants to be recognized, and the news people give it to him. I’m not saying that it is all on the media for bringing this about because we the people are the ones buying the newspapers and watching the television broadcasts. We are giving them too much attention which in turn, in my opinion, just brings more of that behavior about. And not only do we see it on the news but then somebody thinks it’s a good idea to make a movie about the crime. Oh boy, that’s just more glory for the bad stuff. Do you see where I’m going with this? Look, I know that bad stuff happens all the time. Without dark there would be no light, and without bad there would be no good. We need to acknowledge it and then move on from it. If we ignore the bad we just postpone the inevitable, which is more of the bad stuff. Recognize it so that we can figure out where to go from there. We need to be aware of both sides to keep ourselves balanced.
Now let’s talk about the people that focus mostly on the bad stuff. What happens is these people draw to them all the misfortune they can muster up. Not to say that these types of individuals don’t have good things happen as well, but they just don’t seem to realize that they are having good moments. Instead they look for what is wrong in every situation no matter how much fun they are having. They are always waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak. I’m here to tell you that no matter how bad things seem there is always a silver lining. You just have to analyze the situation and find it. I know that sometimes it feels impossible to feel happy, but taking deep breaths and focusing on a happy thought will bring you back to center. We need to reflect the situation so that the good will pop out at you. Have you ever been somewhere that you didn’t want to be and all of a sudden you meet the one person that could help you on a project you’ve been working on? You look back later and realize that if you had not gone there or had left early like you had intended you would not have met this person. That’s because there is something guiding you. Whether you call it God, the universe, Buddha or any other name, it doesn’t matter. If you think about it they all have the same qualities. They are invisible, they are always working for us weather we realize it or not, and we are believing without seeing. But, if you pay close attention you will see that everything you focus on, good or bad, is being given to you. So doesn’t it make sense to focus more on the good things so that more of that will be given to you?
Let’s take that one step further. Say you are in a situation where someone is treating you badly. How do you FEEL when this happens? If you feel pain and anger is this something you like and want? If not, do you think there is something you could do to make yourself feel good again? If all you are thinking about is how badly you are being treated then what you are doing is drawing more of that kind of situation to you. Even if you are saying that you don’t want whatever it is that is bringing you sorrow you are still giving it attention. What you need to do is recognize what it is you don’t want so that you can focus on what you do want. For example, if your boss is treating you badly you must stop dreading the thought of seeing them. Instead when you see their car in the parking lot say to yourself, “Oh good so-n-so is here today, I’m so happy.” Pretend that you are so happy to see them that when you actually do you smile at them and act as polite as possible. Fake it ‘til you make it, in other words. Have confidence in yourself. By you changing your attitude toward the situation you will change the way others perceive you. You need to go into it with a whole new mindset and in turn people will treat you better. You can use this method in any situation and it helps to have a good imagination.
As humans we can’t change the way others think but we can change the way we think about ourselves. If we don’t love ourselves how can we expect anyone else to truly love us? We can only take care of number one and then the rest will fall into place. If I only had one wish it would be that everyone in the world would love their self as they love their new born baby or their mother or their best friend. Not selfish love but true love. Then in turn we would all be able to love one another and life would be wonderful, just think, no more wars, instead we would have peace gatherings.
This wish is not impossible. All it will take is for each individual person to start loving their self and focusing on good things that will bring the world together as one huge family. If everyone would focus on the same wish it is totally doable. So get to it everyone. Love yourself, deeply. Allow yourself to be happy. Figure out what you want and let yourself have it. I know it sounds simple to just change the way you think, but it works. Give it a shot and see. You will be amazed and astounded at the difference it will make in your life and the lives of all people you encounter. All you have to do is change you and the rest will follow.
FYI, the universe is always ready and willing to grant all your wishes so make them good ones. I love you all and want only the best for you. So until next time be happy and prosper.
Your Friend, Deb Mertan
See my Choose a Powerfully Positive Life book.