PMS, Not What You Think…




I know when people hear the acronym PMS they think of premenstrual-syndrome, and you can see why. PMS has been the curse of a lot of women, therefore their husbands and children, have suffered through it too. But that is not what this blog is all about. Yes the acronym is the same but I am giving it a whole new meaning. I am calling it pre-manifestational-syndrome. Let me explain. You know, if you have been reading my blogs, that I am a true believer of self-manifestation. And there is nothing we all can’t be, do, or have as long as we focus on what we do want, and not on what we don’t want. I’ll use the analogy of the corn seed planted in the ground. You logically know that once the seed is planted that there is a process that could take weeks or even months that needs to occur before you’ll see the full manifestation of the ears of corn on the stalk. If you were to get impatient and dig up the seed before it has a chance to grow you will kill the whole plan, dream or process. But if you wait patiently and watch for the signs of the corn coming, like the first sprigs of leaves poking through the ground, and then the little yellow balls that form just before they start forming into ears, and then voila, you can actually pick and eat them.

But wait, now you have no more corn. Oh dear, what to do now? Well if you really think about it we experience this similar scenario all the time. You see once you get what it is you are wanting it becomes old news. And yes it pleases you for a moment but then you find something else to go after. And if you are in this PMS (pre-manifestational-syndrome) state of mind eventually that will manifest as well. And once that shows up we are off to the next thing we want. It’s when we try to force things to come that we kill the whole process. I guess kill is too strong a word, it’s more like stifle. So the trick is to relax and let the universe do its thing, because it knows what you want and knows how to bring it to you. It is so fun to watch as all the components come together to bring you whatever you desire no matter what that may be. It will become a manifestation that not only you can see but others can as well. It’s almost magic. And it is oh so fun when you watch for the signs and know that you are in sync with your desire, and then see it appear right before your very eyes. But it’s not magic, it is the way it is supposed to be. And the only reason anybody wants anything is because they think it will make them happy. And since happiness is the goal, why not just be happy? Appreciate what you have and where you are in life and watch as it just keeps getting better and better. Once you get the idea to stop taking score of where you are and what you have or don’t have, and realize that keeping yourself happy is the path to everything else you want, life will just seem so easy and fun.

Now let’s talk about how to do this. As we all know there are plenty of things out there that can lead us down an ugly path. So how do you stay happy? By looking at something else that is more pleasing. When you focus on more pleasing things you will actually make it easier to find solutions to problems, rather than focusing on the problem, therefore perpetuating the difficulty. Nothing good ever comes from dwelling on the negative side of anything. As you can see there are two sides to everything. There is no dark without light, no good without bad, and no happy without knowing what sad really is. But once you experience the not wanted it is up to you to look away, bring yourself to a happy state of mind, then and only then, address the situation from a place of love and therefore bring a solution.

I know I’ve mentioned this in other blogs, but it bears re-iterating. What would unconditional love do? When we do everything from a place of love and appreciation life just flows more smoothly and we feel good most of the time. And when we have those rare moments of not so happy times we now know what to do about them, and we can bring ourselves back to a better frame of mind more swiftly.

So next time you hear the acronym PMS think about what you have been wanting and if you have been on the positive side or the negative side of it. You will know by the way you feel when you are thinking about it. And watch for the signs that are revealed to you all day every day that will lead you to wherever it is you want to be. Trust that the universe is always communicating with you and is always on your side no matter what. But remember you will get what you think about whether it is bad or good. So go within and find that happy thought, let it gestate, and then move forward. Life is so good when you allow it to be. You are the boss of you so never forget that. Leave everyone else out of the equation when you are finding your bliss, and miraculously you will attract like-minded people into your realm, and life gets even better. Seriously when life seems like it’s at its best it can get better, really! Believe me, I have been experiencing this for a while now, and just when I think life couldn’t get any better, IT DOES! There is no limit in this infinite universe. You are the only block of ANYTHING you want. You have all the magic inside you right now, if you only believe it and then know it. It’s all up to you. Now no more excuses about why your life is not what you want it to be. Get happy and watch all the people and things that you desire fall into place just the way you want them to. This is not airy-fairy chit-chat. This is for real. I know because I am living proof. I am so happy right now and I know there is so much more to come. You can say I am excited about NOW and EAGER for more. But Now is where it’s at and when the more comes it will be the “Now of then”. It’s all happening now, and now and now, get it. Love who you are and where you’re at and watch it grow like the corn stalk that brings you that ear of corn. It’s so fun and liberating to stay happy and let others find their joy without judgement or condemnation. Live and let live is my motto.

So now you know what to do and what to watch for. Be kind to yourself. Don’t get mad when you have an off day. Press the reset button before you sleep and wake up in a new frame of mind. Practice being your authentic self then life will be so amazing.

See my guide book to “Choose a Powerfully Positive Life”

Remember there is great love here for you.

Your friend,

Deb Mertan


Debs Momentum pic



I have mentioned the word momentum in some of my blogs, but I really want to impress upon you how important momentum is. Have you ever had a great idea that just gave you goose bumps all over your entire body, only to lose the feeling after putting doubt on your path? Well the reason for this is that you are used to thinking that good things don’t happen to people like you. You probably got a pretty good negative momentum going and it’s very strong. Maybe you picked up the idea that things are not supposed to work out for you from a parent or a teacher, and it’s been stuck in your mind all this time, or is it? What I mean by that is, that we all have the power to change our old beliefs or habits. You know that a belief is just a thought you keep thinking, don’t you? And it only becomes a truth if you let it. So how do you change the direction of momentum? You start one step at a time. Even a thousand mile journey starts with the first step. It is possible, but it takes a willingness to think another thought until it becomes your new belief, therefore your new truth.

Now that I understand how the law of attraction works I can see why people are where they are in their lives. I can tell by the way they talk and by the results they achieve. This applies to good lives and bad lives. When someone is a complainer and acts like a victim they just keep attracting more of the same. It’s just same results with different faces. If you haven’t changed what’s on the inside what happens on the outside can never really change, it’s the law! It always knows what you are thinking and more importantly, what you are feeling. It’s like when you are yelling at someone in an angry tone but saying, “Don’t you know I love you?” There is a mixed message there because the feeling doesn’t match the words.

So how do you get your momentum going in a positive direction? You pay attention. What I mean by this is you see how it feels when you say it or do it, whatever it is. If it feels good then you are on the positive trail, but if it feels bad you need to re-direct your thoughts or words to match the good feeling. For example, if you are hating on someone, you are feeling bad as well. So in order to feel better about that person you either need to ignore them or try to find something about them that you like. It may take a few tries but that’s okay too. After all, Rome wasn’t built in a day, right? The more you practice finding good in other people the more good people you will find.

And another thing, you get what you expect to get. It’s like when something bad happens and you say, “I knew that would happen.” Well it happened because you expected it to. So why not start expecting good things to happen? It works both ways.

But sometimes momentum can be so intense that you just can’t stop it. Unless, of course, you come to the realization that you are the only one with the power to do something about it. And there are those people that never do get it, like Jim Morrison of the rock band “The Doors.” He had a destructive momentum going on. No matter how many people loved him and tried to help him he couldn’t stop the drinking and drugs. Oh, he would try to stop, and it would last for a little while, but he would always return to drugs and alcohol. At one point he even went to jail for 4 months because he supposedly exposed his penis on stage, which was never proven, and used profanity. Of course, he was clean when he got out, but that too was short lived. When someone keeps going back to the bad behavior it is because they have not taken the time to change their thinking pattern. They let what they see be their reality instead of creating their own reality. If they understood the law of attraction they would want to change the way they feel about everything.

Now I’ll tell you a story about positive momentum, mine. Although my life is pretty amazing right now it hasn’t always been. And even though I have always been a student of positivity.  I didn’t understand it the way I do now. It all started after my husband passed away. I felt like my life was falling apart and I couldn’t seem to make ends meet. It seemed like I was crying every day and nothing was making any sense. So I actually sat myself down and had a long talk about getting back on track. The first thing I did was look for things on the internet that would help lift my spirits. I found some processes that really seemed to work and as I continued to look for new ways of feeling good, things miraculously started changing for me. It has only been 6 shorts years since that horrible time and I now own my own home. Believe me this has been one hell of a journey. In a good way. I went from almost being evicted to owning my home, what a ride. I have finally learned what it takes to make my life my own creation, and that is to keep myself happy and not try to fix anything, because there is nothing wrong or broken. At first the momentum was slow going but as I continue to practice feeling good and being happy things are moving much faster now. I love the feeling of inspiration I get as I trust that things are always working out for me. I not only believe that, I know it. Once you get to the place of knowing it just keeps getting better and better. I know that I am worthy, and I know that I am good and I know that I can have, do or be anything I choose. I know now that every time negative thoughts come to me all I need to do is stop the thought and find something else to focus on. Stop the doubt before it starts, so to speak. I pay attention to how I feel about everything. Have you ever heard the expression, “What would Jesus do?” Well here’s a new way of saying that, “What would un-conditional love do?” When you start loving everything and everyone you will understand what I know to be true. When you let go of anger and judgement you release stress and hatred. When we are children we accept all others as equals. That is until we are taught to be hateful and judgmental. We all need to get back to that carefree time and stop worrying about what someone else is doing or not doing, and focus on what makes us happy. If we all did that we would all be living blissful lives. You think I’m kidding? I’m not, and you can bet on that. Words do not teach, but life experience does. All I’m saying is start really paying attention to how you feel about everything in your life. If you are going to a job every day that you hate you can’t be feeling good. Or if you are in a relationship that is full of struggle that can’t feel good either. So you have some choices to make in order to get back on the positive path. You can either, find something about that situation that pleases you, and focus on that, or you can start looking for what you really want and work toward that. Either way you will be moving in a direction that you can figure it out along the way. You’ll know what feels good or not. This is the journey and that is the best part of all. If you look for the fun stuff and keep yourself in a good frame of mind you can’t lose.

Now let’s talk about un-conditional love a little more. You need to love yourself with that same mindset. It is important to be very kind to yourself and not beat yourself up over dumb things. Especially when you first start changing your beliefs. Whenever you have a relapse moment just laugh it off and eventually you will change the way you think and speak. It’s a process, but one worth doing. And if you ever have any self-image concerns don’t focus there. I’m sure there is something about yourself that you at least like, if not love. When you start focusing on the things you like the other things just start getting better too. You will be inspired to do something, like cut your hair in a stylish fashion. Or to buy some different clothes that feel friskier. These are just suggestions but I think you get the gist. If you allow it, your body will be whatever you want it to be. Again, it’s the law. Remember, it’s all an inside job. Your feelings are your navigational system and you should really listen to them if you want to live an awesomely happy life. And get that momentum going in a positive direction by feeling your way to joy. That’s really all there is to this. It’s not hard, but it is time consuming. In fact, it is a whole new way of life. But once it becomes natural to you you’ll know and you’ll never go back the other way again.

So go on now and make yourself happy. It’s the least you can do for the good of mankind. Live and let live and life will flourish right before your eyes. And always remember, there is great love here for you.

Your Friend,

Deb Mertan

Would you like a book that shows you how to get started with a positive journey with the law of attraction?

I Found the Fountain of Youth

fountain of youth



I guess it may sound like a fairy tale to most people, that there could be a fountain of youth. But that is because they, whomever they are, have been looking for it in the outer world, when in reality it has been on the inside this entire time. Yes, since the beginning of time we have had access to it and I just now figured it out for myself. Actually, I have always been in touch with my inner child. I would be the adult that would be outside playing hop scotch and kick ball with all my nieces and nephews. At the time, I really didn’t give it much thought, I was just having fun. Oh yes, other adults thought I was silly, but who cares what they think, right? I also really love dancing. I’ll be the first one on the dance floor even if I don’t have a partner. I just go off into my own little world and do what I love. And I sing loudly even if it doesn’t sound good to others, because it’s joyous to me. Haven’t you ever watched a little kid when they’re at the grocery store with their mom? They just sing and dance and enjoy themselves. They aren’t worried about who’s watching, they’re just having fun. They have the key. I guess what I am trying to get across to you is that even though we age on the outside and we will for sure die someday, which I believe is a myth because we are all energy and we just transition to another dimension, we still have the choice to be young on the inside. I still feel like I’m in my twenties and I am way past that humanly. I think I just made that word up, but I like it so, it stays. I see people that are humanly younger than me but have maybe half the energy and spunk that I do. Yes for a while there I fell into the belief that you should act your age, but after my husband transitioned and I found myself single again I decided to do all the things I have been wanting to do and just never did.

So now I’m doing all sorts of fun things, like stand-up comedy for instance. I really don’t care if I make a career out of it, I do it for the fun. And I also go to clubs where I dance and play and make lots of new friends. Oh, I tried karaoke once but it wasn’t my thing. But at least I tried. I may do it again someday but it really doesn’t matter. Life is too short to take anything too seriously. You’ve heard the saying, “Don’t sweat the small stuff, and it’s all small stuff.” If you really, really, really think about it, that is the truest statement you can ever hear. What does worry accomplish anyway? It gives you wrinkles and gray hair. It causes ulcers and other illnesses, and shortens lives because stress is the silent killer. So just knowing that, doesn’t it make to want you kick your shoes off and yell, I’m free, I’m free and I’ll never be caged again? Well once you get past the point of guilt for not conforming to anyone else’s rules, and the worry and stress that has been bogging you down, you will feel free. And that’s when the inner child inside you will lead you to do anything and everything you want to do. Did you get that? I said everything you WANT to do. Want, want, want! Stop having to do anything. Stop using the word have. Sure there are things we do out of responsibility like paying the bills and feeding the kids, but those things can be done joyously too. Slow down and give yourself permission to be happy.

Have you ever heard the saying “The hurrier I go, the behinder I get”? Well, it is a saying and it is true. When you are rushing around and getting all twirled up in day to day tasks, you end up getting nowhere. But when you do things with an attitude of ease things flow and you can accomplish more than you thought you could. But, so what if you don’t accomplish anything? You’ve got to stop punishing yourself for leaving dishes in the sink or because you didn’t make your bed. Those things will still be there when you are ready to do them. Stop being so ridged and flow more often. Stop being so profoundly human, which to me means stiff and boring. Be more spiritual, which to me means free and fun. Life is supposed to be joyous so say. “Yes” more often. Yes, I will go to the movies on a weeknight, yes, I will take a weekend cruise, and yes, I will act silly even if others around me scoff. Be who you WANT to be. There is no judge in the sky tallying up all your Brownie points. You will not make marks on some sort of chart that will get you a good seat in heaven. “Now”, is what counts. Wouldn’t it be a shame if you got really old and then looked back and asked yourself, “Why didn’t I do that or I should have done this”? Yes, it would be.

Now I ask you, what is wrong with being nice to yourself? You want others to be nice to you, right? You need to sooth yourself into happiness. Take the time to get your nails done “guilt free”, or take a bubble bath in the middle of the day “just because”. Heck, take a nap if it feels good. Treat yourself like your own best friend. Love yourself like you do your lover. You do deserve these things and you need to see yourself as the worthy being that you truly are. You are not just a human being but a spiritual being as well. When you finally decide, and yes it is a choice, to be nice to yourself, then everything else will just fall into place. I mean everything, money, lovers, and that great vacation you’ve always wanted to take. All these things are available to us all the time but we get too bound up in “Reality” to see it. Stop being so reality oriented and dream more often. Believe that anything is possible and it will be for you. Slow down and meditate more, or pet your cat more often, or take a walk in a beautiful garden. See through your spiritual eyes and know that all is well. I know that deep down you know that you are always taken care of. I know you can think back to a time when you needed something like money for something and when you finally gave up looking for it because that was the only thing left to do, the money miraculously came. Tell me you never felt that. Well that is how it is all the time when you finally give up the struggle and let life live you. Follow the prompts like you would on a video game. Look for the signs that are always being revealed to you, be aware, be awake to the life you want and deserve. Be so in love with yourself that none of the outside bullshit can get to you. It will just roll off your back or go around you like you have a protective shield over you. Life is supposed to be fun and it would be a shame if you let it get away. Be happy in your NOW, because now is all we have. Wherever you are is okay. It’s just the launching point to the next now and the next one. And when you don’t get carried away with the what-ifs you will be much happier.

So how do you get to the fountain of youth? You slow down, you take it easy, and relax more, and pet your cat more, and take more walks and take more naps. Be nicer to yourself and love yourself and everything and everyone unconditionally. Be satisfied with where you are now and be eager for more. Let your inner child out more often.

So now you know the secret to the fountain of youth. It’s there if you choose to see and apply it. The ball is in your court. So what are you going to do NOW?

Remember there is great love here for you.



Always, your friend,

Deb Mertan