Looking Through Rose Colored Glasses

dog wearing glasses

I know most people think that they need to look at what is and react to it whether it is something wanted or something unwanted. But the truth is that we all have a choice to react in any manner we desire. We honestly do create our own reality. And there are always two sides of everything, meaning that you can look at any situation as the cup is half empty or as the cup is half full. It is all a sense of perception. The empty signifies the negative side and the full signifies the positive side. So when you are looking at the full side you are focusing on the positive side and that is easy because you feel joy, but what do you do when you witness something unwanted? My suggestion is that you look away and find something, anything, more joyful to focus on. The more you practice this, the more you will attract more positive things, people and situations to come into your experience. This is what I like to think of as looking through rose colored glasses. I like to think about what I do want and not give much attention to unwanted things except to notice that they are unwanted. I then immediately shift my thinking to more pleasant thoughts even if it is something non-related to what I don’t want. Eventually when I have myself in a good frame of mind I can think of the wanted in a more prosperous way.

For a while now that is exactly what I have been doing and to tell you the truth I have never been happier. I can see now why people experience whatever it is they are focused on. After 9/11 I found myself watching the news intently and I was becoming more and more scared to live in my own country. I was sinking into a deep depression and I knew I had to do something drastic before I became totally paralyzed by my fear.

The first thing I did was to stop watching the news. I couldn’t take it anymore. They just kept talking about it in an endless loop and it got to be mind boggling. So as the days went on I found that by focusing on more pleasant things, like my children, I could feel joy enter my life once again. I truly believe that by this one act of looking away from unwanted truths I started finding my authentic self. And once I started down this path things started changing rapidly for me. And because I was being more selfish and caring more about how I was feeling about everything, things got a little hectic for a minute. I ended up leaving my husband just as the recession got started. Money got very tight and I could hardly pay rent. But I’ll tell you I was much happier than I had been in a long time. And I had faith that things would get better because life goes in cycles and this was just a dip in this time interval.

A short while later my husband passed on to the next phase of life and I became a widow. This made it so that I could collect his social security and his pension. This helped for quite a while but the recession was still on going and I guess I was still buying into the idea that we should all be suffering. It took me a while but as I was sinking into the abyss I remembered that this was not who I am. I am not a (woe is me) kind of person. That’s when I started looking for any way I could to raise my spirits. Instantly things started improving. Money started flowing more freely, my home situation improved, and my whole demeanor transformed for the better. I started reading everything I could find that would help me understand that I am truly the creator of my own reality, and I have the choice to see things, the way I want to, through rose colored glasses.

It has been a few years now and I am still on my beautiful path. So many wonderful things have happened and I know there is so much more to come. I have learned to see things in a much more loving way and I feel good 99.9% of the time. Keeping one’s self happy is a full time job and I for one am willing to make that sacrifice. I know what it feels like to be depressed and don’t wish that feeling on anybody. It is very true that it all starts on the inside. And once you get the hang of happiness you can’t go back. It just feels wrong.

My son is in his twenties now and he has a very good job, government related, and he wants so much for me to hate the government the way he does. But what he doesn’t understand is that by focusing on what he hates he is just perpetuating the unwanted and making himself miserable in the meantime. He asked me, “Why won’t you hate the government with me mom?” I told him it is because I want to be happy. I feel that it is easy for people to look at situations they don’t agree with and try to push them away, but all that does is make it bigger and more uncomfortable for the one pushing. We can’t control what other’s do but we can control how we react to it. What I mean is in order to feel better about a situation you need to look at the positive side of it, or the bright side so to speak. You know there are plenty of things the government does with our tax money that is really good. They build parks and highways for us to travel on. They also provide medi-cal for people that need medical attention and can’t afford it. And don’t forget food stamps for families in need of assistance. There are many more things like that for us to focus on, so you get the picture. I’m sure there are things that you could think of that you appreciate about the government.

In order to see things through rose colored glasses you must see things from the bright side. Sooth your anger, fear and hate by focusing on something pleasing to you and then look for positive aspects of what you are wanting, then watch and see how much happier you are and how your world is morphing right before your very eyes, just the way you want it to.

One thing we must always remember is that we can only control our own emotions. We cannot think, act or feel for another. Nor can any other think, act or do for us. We must all find our own way to happiness, and we must find a way of staying there as often as possible. Then and only then will we truly be the beings we are meant to be. Whoa! Did that hit you like it just hit me? I hope so because I really felt a jolt. So in essence what I got from this is that by staying happy I have the power to do, be or have anything I want to. And no one or anything can project any negativity on me that I do not desire. Keeping myself focused on what I do want, and staying happy on my journey to whatever that is, is all my work really is. I’m going to milk this feeling for a while. It is the most clear I have been in a long time. Not that I haven’t been picking up nuggets of clarity all along the way. But once in a while you get a glimpse of something that just sums up all the answers to questions that have been looming in the background, and BAM!, YOU KNOW! You just know. Right now, what I know is, that life is good and I’m doing great, and wellbeing is abundant, and it just keeps getting better as I focus and stay happy, no matter what anyone else is doing. I choose me! And I hope for all your sakes you choose YOU! Live the life you want no matter what anyone else thinks. They can’t think for you, only you know what is right for you. And that can’t be wrong. And when you live this way things will always work out for you. Remember there is great love here for you.

 

Your loving friend,

Deb Mertan

You also can find your path to joy by purchasing  my guide book,
” Choose a Powerfully Positive Life” 

PMS, Not What You Think…

pms-godzilla-pms-hormones-women-demotivational-poster-1225914585-1

 

 

I know when people hear the acronym PMS they think of premenstrual-syndrome, and you can see why. PMS has been the curse of a lot of women, therefore their husbands and children, have suffered through it too. But that is not what this blog is all about. Yes the acronym is the same but I am giving it a whole new meaning. I am calling it pre-manifestational-syndrome. Let me explain. You know, if you have been reading my blogs, that I am a true believer of self-manifestation. And there is nothing we all can’t be, do, or have as long as we focus on what we do want, and not on what we don’t want. I’ll use the analogy of the corn seed planted in the ground. You logically know that once the seed is planted that there is a process that could take weeks or even months that needs to occur before you’ll see the full manifestation of the ears of corn on the stalk. If you were to get impatient and dig up the seed before it has a chance to grow you will kill the whole plan, dream or process. But if you wait patiently and watch for the signs of the corn coming, like the first sprigs of leaves poking through the ground, and then the little yellow balls that form just before they start forming into ears, and then voila, you can actually pick and eat them.

But wait, now you have no more corn. Oh dear, what to do now? Well if you really think about it we experience this similar scenario all the time. You see once you get what it is you are wanting it becomes old news. And yes it pleases you for a moment but then you find something else to go after. And if you are in this PMS (pre-manifestational-syndrome) state of mind eventually that will manifest as well. And once that shows up we are off to the next thing we want. It’s when we try to force things to come that we kill the whole process. I guess kill is too strong a word, it’s more like stifle. So the trick is to relax and let the universe do its thing, because it knows what you want and knows how to bring it to you. It is so fun to watch as all the components come together to bring you whatever you desire no matter what that may be. It will become a manifestation that not only you can see but others can as well. It’s almost magic. And it is oh so fun when you watch for the signs and know that you are in sync with your desire, and then see it appear right before your very eyes. But it’s not magic, it is the way it is supposed to be. And the only reason anybody wants anything is because they think it will make them happy. And since happiness is the goal, why not just be happy? Appreciate what you have and where you are in life and watch as it just keeps getting better and better. Once you get the idea to stop taking score of where you are and what you have or don’t have, and realize that keeping yourself happy is the path to everything else you want, life will just seem so easy and fun.

Now let’s talk about how to do this. As we all know there are plenty of things out there that can lead us down an ugly path. So how do you stay happy? By looking at something else that is more pleasing. When you focus on more pleasing things you will actually make it easier to find solutions to problems, rather than focusing on the problem, therefore perpetuating the difficulty. Nothing good ever comes from dwelling on the negative side of anything. As you can see there are two sides to everything. There is no dark without light, no good without bad, and no happy without knowing what sad really is. But once you experience the not wanted it is up to you to look away, bring yourself to a happy state of mind, then and only then, address the situation from a place of love and therefore bring a solution.

I know I’ve mentioned this in other blogs, but it bears re-iterating. What would unconditional love do? When we do everything from a place of love and appreciation life just flows more smoothly and we feel good most of the time. And when we have those rare moments of not so happy times we now know what to do about them, and we can bring ourselves back to a better frame of mind more swiftly.

So next time you hear the acronym PMS think about what you have been wanting and if you have been on the positive side or the negative side of it. You will know by the way you feel when you are thinking about it. And watch for the signs that are revealed to you all day every day that will lead you to wherever it is you want to be. Trust that the universe is always communicating with you and is always on your side no matter what. But remember you will get what you think about whether it is bad or good. So go within and find that happy thought, let it gestate, and then move forward. Life is so good when you allow it to be. You are the boss of you so never forget that. Leave everyone else out of the equation when you are finding your bliss, and miraculously you will attract like-minded people into your realm, and life gets even better. Seriously when life seems like it’s at its best it can get better, really! Believe me, I have been experiencing this for a while now, and just when I think life couldn’t get any better, IT DOES! There is no limit in this infinite universe. You are the only block of ANYTHING you want. You have all the magic inside you right now, if you only believe it and then know it. It’s all up to you. Now no more excuses about why your life is not what you want it to be. Get happy and watch all the people and things that you desire fall into place just the way you want them to. This is not airy-fairy chit-chat. This is for real. I know because I am living proof. I am so happy right now and I know there is so much more to come. You can say I am excited about NOW and EAGER for more. But Now is where it’s at and when the more comes it will be the “Now of then”. It’s all happening now, and now and now, get it. Love who you are and where you’re at and watch it grow like the corn stalk that brings you that ear of corn. It’s so fun and liberating to stay happy and let others find their joy without judgement or condemnation. Live and let live is my motto.

So now you know what to do and what to watch for. Be kind to yourself. Don’t get mad when you have an off day. Press the reset button before you sleep and wake up in a new frame of mind. Practice being your authentic self then life will be so amazing.

See my guide book to “Choose a Powerfully Positive Life”

Remember there is great love here for you.

Your friend,

Deb Mertan

You’re Always Here, You’re Never There

Happy people

I once had a boyfriend that always said, “I’m always here, I’m never there.” At the time I didn’t think too much about it. But today as I was driving to work the idea popped into my head that this statement was very profound. It is the truest statement I have ever heard. If you really give it some thought you can see that it makes a lot of sense to those of us who are always striving to live in the now. If I am always here then I must be living in the now. Just like there is no tomorrow, because when tomorrow gets here it is actually today. Oh yes, you can think about tomorrow or the future but you are doing it now. And you can travel to there, but once you get there you are actually here once again. When you pay attention to where you are it is a much happier way to live. You don’t need to justify how you got here, only know that everything that has occurred in your life has brought you to this point in time and it is exactly where you are supposed to be. And you don’t want to think too far into the future because the what-ifs start popping up and you can get cross-ways of what you are wanting.

Life is supposed to be fun. Sure, there are things that we do that most people would consider not fun but if you really look for it there is an element of fun in everything we do. Half of the fun is looking for it and finding it. People spend too much time fretting over things they have no control over and this is what gets them all balled up. The only thing we have total control over, if we choose to practice it, is our emotions. Think about the animals of our world. They do not fret, not one little bit, especially our domestic pets. They are not worried about getting up on time for work or what they are going to wear today. They don’t ask anyone what’s for dinner, they just wait until the bowl is full and then they eat what’s there. They have no doubt that they will be taken care of. We need to feel more like that in order to free up our minds to think about more fun stuff to do.

Or think about it this way. What if you were a new born baby? You don’t worry that you will starve. You give a little cry out to mom or dad and they come with a bottle. And when your diaper is dirty they change you. And besides sleeping, those are the only things that you need. Life is simple and good. If you really stretch your imagination you can see that this is how the universe works. When you start believing that everything is always taken care of for you, you can relax and enjoy yourself. Use your emotions as your guide. The happier you are the more things will go your way. Once you practice this for a while you will never want to go back to fretting. You will realize what a waste of time it is and how bad it is on your wellbeing. You must realize that happiness is a choice and once you apply it to your everyday life you will feel better; not only emotionally but physically as well. I have said this before in many of my blogs that everything starts on the inside. That means that the only way to feel better is to fill yourself with happy thoughts and be as loving as possible. When you choose to share your love and joy you attract other like-minded people it becomes a constant loop of bliss. Why would anyone want anything less than that?

One thing that works well for me is to smile at myself in the mirror, and say, “I love you Deb.” When you love yourself fully you see it reflected back through the eyes and actions of others. It gets more and more exciting to me to see how loved I am through others. And it also reflects back from our domestic animals. They just seem to gravitate to me now in a way I have never known before. It makes me know that I am on my right track and I have nothing but great things in store for me. It is so easy for me to talk to people and play and have fun in everything I do. I look for the right person to sit next to on an airplane or at the lunch counter in a restaurant. When I purposely sit next to someone it always turns out to be a fun time. You may be thinking that you are too shy or embarrassed to talk to a stranger but believe me it is more fun than you think. You’re probably never going to see that person again so who cares if you act silly. In fact, being silly is what children do all the time and they don’t worry if someone is looking at them funny. Have you ever watched a young child at a doctor’s office playing and laughing, while all the adults are somber and serious? That’s because they know that there is nothing serious going on here. They are a great example of always being here. If I were you, I would stop worrying and fretting, and I would kick fear to the curb. Life is so good when you let it be. Give yourself permission to be free and take deep breaths when you feel overwhelmed. Line up with your inner being and see how great things, really are. Treat yourself the way you want to be treated and you will see that others treat you that way too.

I love my life so much that I can’t help but share what I have learned with all of you lovely people. And once you start filling yourself with this everlasting joy you will want to share it too. It becomes addicting and then contagious. But it is better than any drug that is out there. It is a high that will become a euphoric familiarity that you will want to cherish forever. Remember there is nothing serious going on here and you can’t get it wrong and you’ll never get it done. New thoughts and ideas will constantly be coming to you and life will continue to get better and better.

So what are we talking about here? We are talking about being present in the here and now and staying as happy as possible. Making better choices and looking for the fun in life. How much easier could it be? Be happy, be happy, be happy! And then be happy some more! Okay so now you got it. So go do it. Practice fun, joy and love. Life will change in what seems to be in miraculous ways, but in reality that is the way it is supposed to be. And one more thing, remember there is always great love here for you.

 

Forever, Your Friend,

Deb Mertan

 

 

 

Look for the Silver Lining

silver lining

 

 

Have you ever had things go terribly wrong only to find out later that whatever it was that happened turned out to be a blessing in disguise? That is because we are always receiving what we focus on the most. Whether we want it or not, if we give it our full attention it will surely show up. You see, we live in an attraction based universe, so when you say yes about something, and you let it gestate long enough, without adding any doubt into the mix, you will see it. But if you say no to something you don’t want, you will also attract that, because you give your attention to it. The universe doesn’t hear what you say, it responds to how you feel. Example, when a parent is yelling at a child, saying in a loud voice, “Don’t you know I love you!” it sends a mixed message to the child. The words don’t match the feeling behind them. Or if you were to tell someone that you are sorry for something you did or didn’t do, and you sounded snotty while saying it, that would also not match. Those are two examples of feeling verses words but it also applies to how you feel when you say you want something. Like let’s say you wanted a new car and you casually said, “I’m thinking about getting a new car.” You don’t really hear any resistance in that statement. You could just go about your business and not give it too much thought and before you know it you would be getting a new car. But if you were to say after that statement, “But I don’t see how I could do that” that would throw up a wall that would stop all momentum from moving forward. When you feel light and confident about it things move along at just the right pace. Things come to you when you are ready to receive them. But when you are all balled up asking, where is it, when is it going to get here, you slow everything way down.

Have you ever heard the phrase, ask and it is given? Well that is the truest statement ever uttered out of anyone’s mouth. Sometimes you may think that what you asked for isn’t coming, so you keep asking for the same thing over and over again. Being redundant doesn’t help anything. The universe knows what you want and knows how to get it to you. Just relax and be casual about it. Life is supposed to be fun and if you remember that every day you will start to see a tipping of the scale, from the not wanted to the wanted. But in order to stop thinking about the unwanted you have to start thinking about something else. You can’t just stop thinking about that thing you’re not going to think about. That just keeps perpetuating the thought. You have to look for things to think about or focus on that are pleasing to you, things that make you smile. Of course this all takes practice. Everything that is worth doing does take practice. Everything that you do now took training, and I mean everything, from dressing yourself to driving a car. So why is this any different? A belief is just a thought you keep thinking so why not change the direction of your thoughts. The only reason it may seem difficult at first to think better thoughts is because you have been trained either by others or by your own habits of thoughts to think that way and you have a momentum going in that direction. But if you think of your emotions or in other words your feelings, as your navigational guide you will always know which way you are going. It’s like your GPS system guiding you turn by turn and when you stray it says, “Please return to the highlighted route.” That is what gut instinct is all about. When you practice this and get pretty good at it you will become super sensitive to how you are feeling and be able to return to the route very quickly, before you get any momentum going in the wrong direction. This is all very simple stuff but it can seem hard at first like I mentioned earlier. And just because it seems too simple to have any effect on your mood or attitude, don’t be fooled. It will have a great impact on your life in a very positive way. It can be as soon as tomorrow or it could take 30 days, it’s all up to you and how earnest you are in focusing on what it is you want in your life.

Have you ever seen a 3-D printer at work? They are so awesome, and a little weird if you ask me. I have a friend that has one and I watched it make a cover for a remote control device that’s goes to his drone camera. As I was seeing this thing form right before my very eyes I started thinking about things working out for me in a similar way. It’s like I put my request out to the universe and then I just kick back and let it do it’s thing. I don’t have to keep checking to see if it’s on track because I know it will work on it until all of a sudden there it is. Actually it’s also like planting a seed. You don’t plant corn and then get a rose bush. You know that when you plant the corn seed you will eventually get corn, but only after it takes root and grows into a full blown corn stalk. My suggestion is to know what you want and tell the story the way you want it to be. I know Donald Trump is an odd duck but he has the right idea about how to go about getting what he wants. When he is building a new building, like a casino, he talks about how great it’s going to be and how everyone is going to love going there, and so on. He tells the story he wants to be true. You know you can do that with everything in your life, even the stuff you consider really bad. If you just look at things from your past with a new perspective and find the silver lining, you will feel a whole lot better and things in your now will be able to move forward. And if you don’t get yourself too far into the future with what-if thoughts you will also feel a whole lot better and things will move even faster to get you to where you what to be, or should I say where you want to feel, and that just comes down to staying in a good mood and mostly being happy. You can choose to be happy right now if you really want to. You are so free to choose what you want or you could choose bondage. But why would you choose something that goes against your nature to feel good? I’ll tell you why, because you just got used to it, but now it’s time for a change! It’s time to think on purpose and create your own journey, the way you want it to be. Be your own boss and love with all your heart. Be un-conditional and love even the haters. You don’t have to like or dislike anything anyone else does or doesn’t do but love is a powerful tool that can spread to even the worst people on earth. If more people did more things out of love the world would have to change to a greater place to live. We all have a say in our own lives and our own world.

I guess I’ve rambled on long enough. If you’re going to get it, I’m sure you have by now. Just one last thing before I go, be careful what you wish for because you will get it, whether it’s wanted or un-wanted. Be nice to yourself and love deeply. Sooner than you think things are going to change and the better it gets, the better it gets. There is great love here for you.

You too may get started on a journey of bliss, joy and finding your destiny with my guidebook.

Forever, Your Friend

Deb Mertan

 

 

 

Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and the main beholder is you. When you feel beautiful, you will look beautiful. It’s like having the ugliest little Chihuahua, she’s blind, has hardly any teeth and sheds like a beast. You think to yourself, “How could I ever love this thing?” But as time goes on you start to notice all the little things she does that make you laugh, and how she cuddles with you when you’re watching T.V. together. Before you know it you are in love and she’s the most beautiful dog in the world. That is how we are supposed to look at ourselves. We need to find the good stuff, like how funny we are, if applicable, or how sweet we are. We need to be the people we want to be and that alone will help us like ourselves more. We need to treat ourselves with kindness and not freak out when we makes mistakes. Mistakes could turn out to be good, look at Plexiglas or penicillin, they were accidents but they turned out to be great! Not everyone is born looking like the Princess Grace of Monaco, she was a true beauty, inside and out. And of course there are those really beautiful people that don’t even know that they are because someone has convinced them otherwise. For those of us that are more regular, there are many ways to show the true beauty that is in all of us.

Now in order to find your true beauty there are a few simple steps you could take to start the process. It involves looking inward and looking for all the things you love about yourself. This is a form of self-love that will definitely stir up more thoughts and feelings about the things you love about you. And even if a person is beautiful on the outside but has a bad attitude they seem ugly to other people. Not everyone sees the same thing when they look at the same person either. For example I think the actress, Kim Basinger is beautiful, but my brother says no she’s not. Of course we don’t know her personally but from what we can see we both have different perspectives. But my brother also thinks the actress Daryl Hannah is gorgeous and I really don’t. So you see it is all personal preference. I’m sure if we got to know those two ladies we would both change our views according to how they acted in real life. Personalities are very important in the way people view others. You can meet someone and at first glance think that they are hideous but after even a few minutes you can change your point of view just by talking to them and seeing that they are a truly kind and beautiful person. It happens!

You’re probably wondering why I even brought this up. But the truth of the matter is I have not always felt so beautiful. Not that I thought I was horribly ugly, but I didn’t think I was any more than average. After starting a regimen of self-love I started seeing myself in a whole new light. I started taking more pride in the way I dressed and the way I talked about myself. I stopped saying anything negative, such as I’m so stupid or I’m fat or anything that would bring my spirits down. When I would catch myself saying things like that I would immediately change it to something positive, like, I’m not stupid, just ignorant of the facts. Or, I’m not fat, I’m a beautiful woman on my way to becoming an even more beautiful woman. Of course at first this sounds foreign to someone that is not used to saying nice things to their self, but in time as you keep changing the negative to a positive whenever you catch yourself, it becomes easier and more comfortable. Practice, practice, practice. That is the remedy for anything you want to change in your life. Little by little if you start and keep using these techniques you will notice how by you caring more about you other people will too. Not only adults but even the smallest of babies will notice your beauty and want to make eye contact with you. You may even draw a big smile from them. Not to mention the animals that will see you as a very fascinating person and want to warm up to you. You see, it all starts with you. How do you want to be treated? Treat yourself the way you want to be treated and everyone else will treat you that way too.

When you are busy being nice to yourself it doesn’t leave much time for finding fault with anyone else so your relationships with your loved ones will automatically improve as well. You may even become an example to others on how to become happier in their own existence. It really becomes great fun when you stop beating yourself up about things you can’t change or have any control over. Look for ways to see the real you and ignore the things that make you feel bad. Life is wonderful when you look for the fun and live as happily as you can every day.

So if you are ready, show the world your beauty by starting with showing yourself your true beauty. It is not hard to do, you just have to want to do it. Be brave and look into your soul and bring out the true you so that everyone can see what a terrific person you are. Love yourself like a fat kid loves cake and life will just keep getting better and better. And never forget that there is great love here for you. So until we meet again.

You will find steps like these in my “Choose a Powerfully Positive Life” guide book

With all my love,

Deb Mertan

ATTITUDE – ATTITUDE – ATTITUDE

attitude

So everyone has ideas of what they want and why they want it. And it is my belief that we can all accomplish what most might call the impossible. And it is also my belief that it is as easy to create a button as it is to create a castle. I know that it may seem strange to a person at first, to accept these statements as truth, after all, most of us have been taught by our parents, teachers and other such authorities to think the way they do, whatever that may be. But I’m here to tell you that you have every right with full authority, by you and only you, to change the way you think, therefore changing what you choose to believe. More and more people are starting to realize that thinking positive thoughts is very beneficial, and asking for what you want is okay. And even though you may think that you have been asking for what you want to come to you, you may be sabotaging your desire inadvertently.

You may be thinking of something you want such as a new home. You are not really in a position to buy one according to what you have been observing in your life, so even though you have the desire you are also doubting that it will become a reality. You see, this causes a split in your energy and your indecision is blocking you from getting what you want. Now once you make the decision and you feel really good about it, now you’re going to see forward movement. You see, it’s not what you decide, it’s how you feel about the decision. Is this making sense to you? Actually words don’t really teach. Until you have had experiences where you have wanted something but weren’t getting anxious about it, sort of like waiting for Christmas morning, there’s no sense in getting all balled up wondering when it’s going to get here. It’s comes on the same day every year. So if we were to treat all our desires like that they could come much easier and much faster. I’m sure you could look back at a situation when something like that occurred. I’ll give you an example from my own life experience. My washing machine had broken down and I really didn’t have an extra $500.00 to buy a new one at the moment. So I was taking my laundry to the laundromat and spending a couple of hours there every week for a couple of months. One day while hauling a ton of dirty clothes to my car, I casually said, “I have been without a washer for too long, somebodies is going to give me one.” And I didn’t give it another thought. My daughter happened to be with me that day, and we were having fun in an odd sort of way, but you gotta’ make your own fun as far as I’m concerned. And as we were filling the 10 washers we needed, an old friend of mind called me on the phone. She asked what I was up to and I proceeded to tell her, as I was laughing about it, how we sort of took over the whole place. She said that that was why she was calling me. She had just received a large settlement from an insurance claim and she wanted to buy me a washer. I was very grateful to her, but as it was happening I knew it was me that attracted it. Things don’t come out of the blue, but they can come out of the oblivious. It is so important that you care about how you feel. Think about what you’re saying and how it makes you feel. Doesn’t it feel yucky when you think that you are bad or not worthy? That is because that is a total untruth. We are all good and worthy. When we feel those good feelings we are on cloud 9, soaring with the eagles. When we love ourselves we can do no wrong. And no decision can be wrong when we feel good going into it. When you do decide to do something, give it your full attention. But let it gestate and grow fully in your mind and wait for the feeling of the inspired idea before you take action.

This is about attitude. No, it’s about total attitude! When you have the attitude of joy and happiness things like that just keep showing up in your life. You know I gave you the example of the washing machine manifesting in a matter of minutes, but I also manifested buying a house the same way. It all started when my landlady called and said she wanted to sell the house I had been renting from her for the last three years at that point. I told her that it was cool and that I would start looking for a new place to rent. She kept apologizing but I wasn’t worried about anything. I just kept the attitude that everything is always working out for me, and I kept appreciating that we had been here for this time and how much I liked this house and that I was sure we would find something just like it, or better. But things were not turning out the way I thought they would, but still I knew something good was going to happen. As people were coming through the house I was living in for the showing I was telling all the potential buyers how lovely the neighborhood was and how great the front porch is for sitting and drinking coffee in the mornings. Finally they had a buyer and I still had not found a place to rent. But I was not worried. My family was a little worried but I just kept saying that everything is going to work out just right. One day while driving I saw a sign that said $1500.00 will get you into your own home. I took the number down and gave them a call. I got an appointment right away and found out that by myself I could only qualify for a loan of $120,000.00. Well that was not going to get me the home I wanted and deserved. So they asked me if one of my kids could buy it with me. I told them that my daughter had just started a new job so she didn’t qualify and my son just started a new job after going to college for 4 years. They said that if he is a graduate and if he has his diploma and transcripts and a letter from his new outstanding job that he could qualify for $250,000.00. So now we were seriously looking for a house buy, but as it turned out, together my son and I made a $1,000.00 too much to qualify for the $1,500.00 down payment program and now they wanted about $20,000.00 down and we didn’t have it. Believe it or not I did not wavier from my thought that we were going to buy a house that we really loved. So the man that was buying the house that I was living in came with the inspector to do the final inspection while they were waiting for escrow to close. I was very nice to them as they crawled up into the attic and looked in all my cupboards and checked every nook and cranny they could find. After they left I called the landlady to let her know they had done their job. And for some reason I said to her, “You know, my son and I are looking to buy a house now. Too bad we can’t buy this one.” I told her about the down payment issue we were having too. But not because I thought she could do anything about that. I really don’t know why I said it. But she said that they had signed a contract with the other people and that they would have to cancel on her. But I still didn’t stop my good feeling that something magnificent was happening.

Now here’s where it really starts getting good. That very night my landlady called and said that the couple that wanted the house had backed out. Again I was grateful but I knew that it was happening just the way it was supposed to happen. She also told me that she had talked to her realtor who had a very good loan officer she worked with and they said that if they raised the price of the house a little I could use that as part of the down payment. I would still need to come up with $10,000.00 but that was okay. I knew if I could manifest all that I had so far, that I could manifest the rest. So I asked for a 60 day escrow so that I could come up with the money. This just happened to be during the holiday season. We were scheduled to close escrow on December 27TH. Here it was Thanksgiving weekend and I still had not one dime toward the $10,000.00. My son was a little concerned because he didn’t understand how I was so calm about everything. I just kept reassuring him that everything was going in the right direction. The whole Thanksgiving weekend I thought about who I could ask to loan me the money and one person kept popping up in my mind. So on Monday morning I gave this person a call and explained the situation to him and without one iota of hesitation he said, I think that will work. And not only did he say yes he also said it was a gift. As I hung up the phone I broke out into the most joyous tears of relief. It was so delicious to hear those words come out of his mouth. So because I stayed true to my desire and did not put any doubt on my path I was a homeowner within 2 months.

So, what are we talking about here? We’re talking about staying in the attitude of joy and knowing that everything is always working out. That it is our right to be deserving and worthy. And we are the only ones that need to make ourselves happy. It is not anyone else’s job to make you happy. We are all responsible for our own feelings weather they are good or bad. So if I were you I would choose to feel good. Everything is a choice so make it and live it. And know that you are the creator of you and you can re-invent you anytime you choose to. Life is meant to be good and fun and joyous. You get one shot at this one so make it a good one. Be nicer to yourself and then watch how the right people start showing up around you that will enhance your happiness. It all starts on the inside. Love comes from within and then pours out onto the world and brings it back in miraculous ways. But that’s how life is supposed to be. So now that you know it, live it. You will find out that fun is the name of the game and winning is a givin’. Go forth from this day on and love yourself like you never did before. You’re going to dig it. And remember there is great love here for you as well.

You will find steps like these in my “Choose a Powerfully Positive Life guidebook

Until next time, your friend,

Deb Mertan

You Be You, And I’ll Be Me

images for you be you

 

 

I have been practicing being in alignment with my inner being lately. What I have realized is that the more attention I give to myself, the more I have no time to worry about what anyone else is doing. This is actually a feeling of great freedom. It may seem selfish, and for sure it is, but this is how I came to the deeper understanding of what being true to yourself really means. The trick is, you really have to mean it and practice it until it becomes a natural way of life.

What some might not understand is that by being true to yourself first and foremost, you can be of much more benefit to yourself as well as others. It’s like the flight attendant on the airplane says to you,” Put on your oxygen mask before you help anyone else.” That’s because if you pass out while trying to help others no one will be saved.

When I finally decided that, you be you, and I’ll be me, I realized that I was actually allowing myself to be who I wanted to be without the worry of what anyone else was thinking of me. It’s like the fortune cookie I got once said, “Dance like no one is watching”. And now I can recognize those others that feel the same way. In fact, I feel that I am attracting them like a magnet. I love that it doesn’t matter to me what anyone else is doing in their lives. We are all in our own little world and life is supposed to be fun. Of course we can make our world any size we want to, it doesn’t have to be little.

Now that I have given myself permission to live the way I want to, time seems to be moving at just the right pace. I have plenty of time to do all the things I want to and it seems like everything schedules itself perfectly so that I just follow the lead to where the best stuff is. I know now that it is not my job to make anyone else happy. My only concern is how I feel. When I keep myself happy I am not infringing on any one and in fact I am bringing a bit of joy to everyone I encounter. But of course it is everyone else’s responsibly to keep their selves in a joyous state.

If everyone would take care and pay attention to their own feelings the world would be a much happier place. I know a couple that were very happy together, but eventually they started growing apart. One of them was feeling very uncertain about where things were going and wanted to break it off. The other one was devastated of course but there was nothing more to discuss. It was over. But during the next 8 months they both started really getting to know their selves again. They realized that they were both up each other’s butts all the time and really lost who they once were. When they finally did work things out they realized that they had different interests than each other and that it was okay. In fact, it was more than okay, it was liberating. They realized that loving each other was enough and that living in each moment was so much easier than trying to look too far into the future. They even stopped complaining to each other about stuff that really didn’t matter. They found that it was much easier to communicate in a positive way, which takes the stress out of the equation and lets the good stuff flow in.

You can’t help but be who you are. I have a friend that grew up in a time when being gay was very taboo. He played the role of straight man for quite a while. He dated girls in school and eventually married and had 4 children. But after 10 years of marriage he finally broke and decided to come out of the closet, as they say, and all hell broke loose. His parents were disappointed to say the least and his wife was appalled. His kids were scared and confused and friends didn’t know what to think. Naturally things settled down and eventually it seemed normal when he finally got to be who he really was.

I actually fell in love with a man that is not yet ready for what I have to offer. He may never be ready. Like I said I can’t worry about what anyone else is doing or not doing. After going through all the whys and what fors, and trying to stop seeing him, I again gave myself permission to love him no matter what. I realized that he has lived a very different life than I have and that he is working on his own self. As much as I tried not to love him so deeply I had no choice. My heart knows what it wants. We still see each other from time to time but instead of worrying about how much I don’t see him, I thoroughly enjoy our time together. I know he loves me too but I also know that when you try to force things to happen the way you want them to, things get mighty ugly. So someday we may become a couple but for now we are very good friends and you can’t get enough of those.

So if you haven’t gotten the gist of what this blog is all about, it’s like this, just keep your nose out of everyone else’s business and care exponentially about your own feelings. Keep yourself on as happy a thought as you can in each moment of the day. At first it may feel strange to you but that is because you have been so used to complaining about things you have no control over. It’s time to start thinking about what you do want, not about what you don’t want. And when you have a dream or desire to be, do or have anything, be nice to yourself and let yourself have it. And stop beating up on yourself when you think something has gone wrong. You can’t get it wrong and you’ll never get it done. If you’re doing it right, life will just keep getting better and better and you will never run out of things to want. Like I said, life is supposed to be fun so get out there and find it. It just takes practice, so what else have you got to do?

Now that you know what to do, I hope you start doing it. Like right now! No one else can do it for you. Give yourself permission to feel good and you’ll see your world change right before your very eyes. There is great love here for you. And your inner being will always be with you, loving you, assisting you, having fun with you, showing you, knowing you, guiding you, and the list goes on and on. Follow your bliss and you won’t go wrong.

With all my love, Deb Mertan

To learn more about a Positively Powerful life see my book