Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and the main beholder is you. When you feel beautiful, you will look beautiful. It’s like having the ugliest little Chihuahua, she’s blind, has hardly any teeth and sheds like a beast. You think to yourself, “How could I ever love this thing?” But as time goes on you start to notice all the little things she does that make you laugh, and how she cuddles with you when you’re watching T.V. together. Before you know it you are in love and she’s the most beautiful dog in the world. That is how we are supposed to look at ourselves. We need to find the good stuff, like how funny we are, if applicable, or how sweet we are. We need to be the people we want to be and that alone will help us like ourselves more. We need to treat ourselves with kindness and not freak out when we makes mistakes. Mistakes could turn out to be good, look at Plexiglas or penicillin, they were accidents but they turned out to be great! Not everyone is born looking like the Princess Grace of Monaco, she was a true beauty, inside and out. And of course there are those really beautiful people that don’t even know that they are because someone has convinced them otherwise. For those of us that are more regular, there are many ways to show the true beauty that is in all of us.

Now in order to find your true beauty there are a few simple steps you could take to start the process. It involves looking inward and looking for all the things you love about yourself. This is a form of self-love that will definitely stir up more thoughts and feelings about the things you love about you. And even if a person is beautiful on the outside but has a bad attitude they seem ugly to other people. Not everyone sees the same thing when they look at the same person either. For example I think the actress, Kim Basinger is beautiful, but my brother says no she’s not. Of course we don’t know her personally but from what we can see we both have different perspectives. But my brother also thinks the actress Daryl Hannah is gorgeous and I really don’t. So you see it is all personal preference. I’m sure if we got to know those two ladies we would both change our views according to how they acted in real life. Personalities are very important in the way people view others. You can meet someone and at first glance think that they are hideous but after even a few minutes you can change your point of view just by talking to them and seeing that they are a truly kind and beautiful person. It happens!

You’re probably wondering why I even brought this up. But the truth of the matter is I have not always felt so beautiful. Not that I thought I was horribly ugly, but I didn’t think I was any more than average. After starting a regimen of self-love I started seeing myself in a whole new light. I started taking more pride in the way I dressed and the way I talked about myself. I stopped saying anything negative, such as I’m so stupid or I’m fat or anything that would bring my spirits down. When I would catch myself saying things like that I would immediately change it to something positive, like, I’m not stupid, just ignorant of the facts. Or, I’m not fat, I’m a beautiful woman on my way to becoming an even more beautiful woman. Of course at first this sounds foreign to someone that is not used to saying nice things to their self, but in time as you keep changing the negative to a positive whenever you catch yourself, it becomes easier and more comfortable. Practice, practice, practice. That is the remedy for anything you want to change in your life. Little by little if you start and keep using these techniques you will notice how by you caring more about you other people will too. Not only adults but even the smallest of babies will notice your beauty and want to make eye contact with you. You may even draw a big smile from them. Not to mention the animals that will see you as a very fascinating person and want to warm up to you. You see, it all starts with you. How do you want to be treated? Treat yourself the way you want to be treated and everyone else will treat you that way too.

When you are busy being nice to yourself it doesn’t leave much time for finding fault with anyone else so your relationships with your loved ones will automatically improve as well. You may even become an example to others on how to become happier in their own existence. It really becomes great fun when you stop beating yourself up about things you can’t change or have any control over. Look for ways to see the real you and ignore the things that make you feel bad. Life is wonderful when you look for the fun and live as happily as you can every day.

So if you are ready, show the world your beauty by starting with showing yourself your true beauty. It is not hard to do, you just have to want to do it. Be brave and look into your soul and bring out the true you so that everyone can see what a terrific person you are. Love yourself like a fat kid loves cake and life will just keep getting better and better. And never forget that there is great love here for you. So until we meet again.

With all my love,

Deb Mertan



So everyone has ideas of what they want and why they want it. And it is my belief that we can all accomplish what most might call the impossible. And it is also my belief that it is as easy to create a button as it is to create a castle. I know that it may seem strange to a person at first, to accept these statements as truth, after all, most of us have been taught by our parents, teachers and other such authorities to think the way they do, whatever that may be. But I’m here to tell you that you have every right with full authority, by you and only you, to change the way you think, therefore changing what you choose to believe. More and more people are starting to realize that thinking positive thoughts is very beneficial, and asking for what you want is okay. And even though you may think that you have been asking for what you want to come to you, you may be sabotaging your desire inadvertently.

You may be thinking of something you want such as a new home. You are not really in a position to buy one according to what you have been observing in your life, so even though you have the desire you are also doubting that it will become a reality. You see, this causes a split in your energy and your indecision is blocking you from getting what you want. Now once you make the decision and you feel really good about it, now you’re going to see forward movement. You see, it’s not what you decide, it’s how you feel about the decision. Is this making sense to you? Actually words don’t really teach. Until you have had experiences where you have wanted something but weren’t getting anxious about it, sort of like waiting for Christmas morning, there’s no sense in getting all balled up wondering when it’s going to get here. It’s comes on the same day every year. So if we were to treat all our desires like that they could come much easier and much faster. I’m sure you could look back at a situation when something like that occurred. I’ll give you an example from my own life experience. My washing machine had broken down and I really didn’t have an extra $500.00 to buy a new one at the moment. So I was taking my laundry to the laundromat and spending a couple of hours there every week for a couple of months. One day while hauling a ton of dirty clothes to my car, I casually said, “I have been without a washer for too long, somebodies is going to give me one.” And I didn’t give it another thought. My daughter happened to be with me that day, and we were having fun in an odd sort of way, but you gotta’ make your own fun as far as I’m concerned. And as we were filling the 10 washers we needed, an old friend of mind called me on the phone. She asked what I was up to and I proceeded to tell her, as I was laughing about it, how we sort of took over the whole place. She said that that was why she was calling me. She had just received a large settlement from an insurance claim and she wanted to buy me a washer. I was very grateful to her, but as it was happening I knew it was me that attracted it. Things don’t come out of the blue, but they can come out of the oblivious. It is so important that you care about how you feel. Think about what you’re saying and how it makes you feel. Doesn’t it feel yucky when you think that you are bad or not worthy? That is because that is a total untruth. We are all good and worthy. When we feel those good feelings we are on cloud 9, soaring with the eagles. When we love ourselves we can do no wrong. And no decision can be wrong when we feel good going into it. When you do decide to do something, give it your full attention. But let it gestate and grow fully in your mind and wait for the feeling of the inspired idea before you take action.

This is about attitude. No, it’s about total attitude! When you have the attitude of joy and happiness things like that just keep showing up in your life. You know I gave you the example of the washing machine manifesting in a matter of minutes, but I also manifested buying a house the same way. It all started when my landlady called and said she wanted to sell the house I had been renting from her for the last three years at that point. I told her that it was cool and that I would start looking for a new place to rent. She kept apologizing but I wasn’t worried about anything. I just kept the attitude that everything is always working out for me, and I kept appreciating that we had been here for this time and how much I liked this house and that I was sure we would find something just like it, or better. But things were not turning out the way I thought they would, but still I knew something good was going to happen. As people were coming through the house I was living in for the showing I was telling all the potential buyers how lovely the neighborhood was and how great the front porch is for sitting and drinking coffee in the mornings. Finally they had a buyer and I still had not found a place to rent. But I was not worried. My family was a little worried but I just kept saying that everything is going to work out just right. One day while driving I saw a sign that said $1500.00 will get you into your own home. I took the number down and gave them a call. I got an appointment right away and found out that by myself I could only qualify for a loan of $120,000.00. Well that was not going to get me the home I wanted and deserved. So they asked me if one of my kids could buy it with me. I told them that my daughter had just started a new job so she didn’t qualify and my son just started a new job after going to college for 4 years. They said that if he is a graduate and if he has his diploma and transcripts and a letter from his new outstanding job that he could qualify for $250,000.00. So now we were seriously looking for a house buy, but as it turned out, together my son and I made a $1,000.00 too much to qualify for the $1,500.00 down payment program and now they wanted about $20,000.00 down and we didn’t have it. Believe it or not I did not wavier from my thought that we were going to buy a house that we really loved. So the man that was buying the house that I was living in came with the inspector to do the final inspection while they were waiting for escrow to close. I was very nice to them as they crawled up into the attic and looked in all my cupboards and checked every nook and cranny they could find. After they left I called the landlady to let her know they had done their job. And for some reason I said to her, “You know, my son and I are looking to buy a house now. Too bad we can’t buy this one.” I told her about the down payment issue we were having too. But not because I thought she could do anything about that. I really don’t know why I said it. But she said that they had signed a contract with the other people and that they would have to cancel on her. But I still didn’t stop my good feeling that something magnificent was happening.

Now here’s where it really starts getting good. That very night my landlady called and said that the couple that wanted the house had backed out. Again I was grateful but I knew that it was happening just the way it was supposed to happen. She also told me that she had talked to her realtor who had a very good loan officer she worked with and they said that if they raised the price of the house a little I could use that as part of the down payment. I would still need to come up with $10,000.00 but that was okay. I knew if I could manifest all that I had so far, that I could manifest the rest. So I asked for a 60 day escrow so that I could come up with the money. This just happened to be during the holiday season. We were scheduled to close escrow on December 27TH. Here it was Thanksgiving weekend and I still had not one dime toward the $10,000.00. My son was a little concerned because he didn’t understand how I was so calm about everything. I just kept reassuring him that everything was going in the right direction. The whole Thanksgiving weekend I thought about who I could ask to loan me the money and one person kept popping up in my mind. So on Monday morning I gave this person a call and explained the situation to him and without one iota of hesitation he said, I think that will work. And not only did he say yes he also said it was a gift. As I hung up the phone I broke out into the most joyous tears of relief. It was so delicious to hear those words come out of his mouth. So because I stayed true to my desire and did not put any doubt on my path I was a homeowner within 2 months.

So, what are we talking about here? We’re talking about staying in the attitude of joy and knowing that everything is always working out. That it is our right to be deserving and worthy. And we are the only ones that need to make ourselves happy. It is not anyone else’s job to make you happy. We are all responsible for our own feelings weather they are good or bad. So if I were you I would choose to feel good. Everything is a choice so make it and live it. And know that you are the creator of you and you can re-invent you anytime you choose to. Life is meant to be good and fun and joyous. You get one shot at this one so make it a good one. Be nicer to yourself and then watch how the right people start showing up around you that will enhance your happiness. It all starts on the inside. Love comes from within and then pours out onto the world and brings it back in miraculous ways. But that’s how life is supposed to be. So now that you know it, live it. You will find out that fun is the name of the game and winning is a givin’. Go forth from this day on and love yourself like you never did before. You’re going to dig it. And remember there is great love here for you as well.

Until next time, your friend,

Deb Mertan

You Be You, And I’ll Be Me

images for you be you

I have been practicing being in alignment with my inner being lately. What I have realized is that the more attention I give to myself, the more I have no time to worry about what anyone else is doing. This is actually a feeling of great freedom. It may seem selfish, and for sure it is, but this is how I came to the deeper understanding of what being true to yourself really means. The trick is, you really have to mean it and practice it until it becomes a natural way of life.

What some might not understand is that by being true to yourself first and foremost, you can be of much more benefit to yourself as well as others. It’s like the flight attendant on the airplane says to you,” Put on your oxygen mask before you help anyone else.” That’s because if you pass out while trying to help others no one will be saved.

When I finally decided that, you be you, and I’ll be me, I realized that I was actually allowing myself to be who I wanted to be without the worry of what anyone else was thinking of me. It’s like the fortune cookie I got once said, “Dance like no one is watching”. And now I can recognize those others that feel the same way. In fact, I feel that I am attracting them like a magnet. I love that it doesn’t matter to me what anyone else is doing in their lives. We are all in our own little world and life is supposed to be fun. Of course we can make our world any size we want to, it doesn’t have to be little.

Now that I have given myself permission to live the way I want to, time seems to be moving at just the right pace. I have plenty of time to do all the things I want to and it seems like everything schedules itself perfectly so that I just follow the lead to where the best stuff is. I know now that it is not my job to make anyone else happy. My only concern is how I feel. When I keep myself happy I am not infringing on any one and in fact I am bringing a bit of joy to everyone I encounter. But of course it is everyone else’s responsibly to keep their selves in a joyous state.

If everyone would take care and pay attention to their own feelings the world would be a much happier place. I know a couple that were very happy together, but eventually they started growing apart. One of them was feeling very uncertain about where things were going and wanted to break it off. The other one was devastated of course but there was nothing more to discuss. It was over. But during the next 8 months they both started really getting to know their selves again. They realized that they were both up each other’s butts all the time and really lost who they once were. When they finally did work things out they realized that they had different interests than each other and that it was okay. In fact, it was more than okay, it was liberating. They realized that loving each other was enough and that living in each moment was so much easier than trying to look too far into the future. They even stopped complaining to each other about stuff that really didn’t matter. They found that it was much easier to communicate in a positive way, which takes the stress out of the equation and lets the good stuff flow in.

You can’t help but be who you are. I have a friend that grew up in a time when being gay was very taboo. He played the role of straight man for quite a while. He dated girls in school and eventually married and had 4 children. But after 10 years of marriage he finally broke and decided to come out of the closet, as they say, and all hell broke loose. His parents were disappointed to say the least and his wife was appalled. His kids were scared and confused and friends didn’t know what to think. Naturally things settled down and eventually it seemed normal when he finally got to be who he really was.

I actually fell in love with a man that is not yet ready for what I have to offer. He may never be ready. Like I said I can’t worry about what anyone else is doing or not doing. After going through all the whys and what fors, and trying to stop seeing him, I again gave myself permission to love him no matter what. I realized that he has lived a very different life than I have and that he is working on his own self. As much as I tried not to love him so deeply I had no choice. My heart knows what it wants. We still see each other from time to time but instead of worrying about how much I don’t see him, I thoroughly enjoy our time together. I know he loves me too but I also know that when you try to force things to happen the way you want them to, things get mighty ugly. So someday we may become a couple but for now we are very good friends and you can’t get enough of those.

So if you haven’t gotten the gist of what this blog is all about, it’s like this, just keep your nose out of everyone else’s business and care exponentially about your own feelings. Keep yourself on as happy a thought as you can in each moment of the day. At first it may feel strange to you but that is because you have been so used to complaining about things you have no control over. It’s time to start thinking about what you do want, not about what you don’t want. And when you have a dream or desire to be, do or have anything, be nice to yourself and let yourself have it. And stop beating up on yourself when you think something has gone wrong. You can’t get it wrong and you’ll never get it done. If you’re doing it right, life will just keep getting better and better and you will never run out of things to want. Like I said, life is supposed to be fun so get out there and find it. It just takes practice, so what else have you got to do?

Now that you know what to do, I hope you start doing it. Like right now! No one else can do it for you. Give yourself permission to feel good and you’ll see your world change right before your very eyes. There is great love here for you. And your inner being will always be with you, loving you, assisting you, having fun with you, showing you, knowing you, guiding you, and the list goes on and on. Follow your bliss and you won’t go wrong.

With all my love, Deb Mertan

A Deliberate Creator


Please believe me when I say that you and every single living thing on this planet are much more than this physical body, that you see as you. Everything is from the source that some people might call God or your higher self or any number of beliefs that a person might have. There is definitely a spiritual side to all of us that is always with us and always wanting only our well being. If you could just wrap your head around this concept you would see just how much you have been creating by default, and how easily you could start being a deliberate creator. You can actually create the world you want to live in on purpose. When I say creating by default I mean that you are just observing what is and taking that as your reality instead of knowing that you are the boss of you and you can change your old beliefs and start believing what feels right to you and only you.

I can look back on my life now and see how things have always worked out for me. And I know that a lot of it was not conscious. But there have also been times that I was pre-paving by talking about what I wanted and not letting doubt get in the way. But even doing that was not with the knowledge of me working in concert with the universe. I just knew I wanted whatever it was and I was sure going to find a way of letting myself have it. And what I mean by pre-paving is just keeping a positive focus on what you want, and not worrying about how long it takes to get to you in physical form. This is the working in concert part. You don’t plant a seed and expect it to grow over night. You understand that there is a process and that if you tend to it properly by watering it and giving it time to grow that eventually you will have the plant that the seed turns into.

I used to live my life trying to please other people like my parents, or the teachers in school, or the government who are always trying to control the masses with rules and laws that don’t always have the best intentions for the masses, but are put in place to help the rich get richer and keep the rest of the people struggling. I used to think that I had no choice but to follow their rules and live a mediocre life. But now that I’m older, and I have a few experiences under my belt, I know that I can be, do or have anything and everything I want. By reading books and finding ways of uplifting my spirit from the inside out I have come to realize that the only person I need to please is me. Once I came to this conclusion I started on a journey that I know will last a life time. I know now that there is no going back. Once you get a taste of deliberate creation you can’t stop. It’s an addiction that you don’t want to give up. I have been working on myself for years now, but it wasn’t until I found out what the missing piece was to getting my life the way I wanted it to be. It is in the keeping yourself happy that makes all the difference. The way I found to stay happy a majority of the time is by not observing what was happening in the world around me and only focusing on my bliss. Oh yes, and not giving a crap about what anyone else thinks. They are not living my life. They don’t know what truly makes me happy. So why are other people trying to get you to do what they think you should do? Because they are looking for love in all the wrong places. Other people think that by getting you to do what they want will show that you love them, but it usually leads to resentment, which is not a good feeling at all. Now I’m not saying you should never do things for other people, I’m saying to only do it if you really want to, otherwise say no as politely as possible.

I have a good example of someone living a life that was not in alignment with his true self. It was at a time when being gay was very taboo, and even though this person had these feelings he tried to suppress them and live a heterosexual life. After four children and ten years of marriage he finally couldn’t deny it anymore. And when he did come out it turned into a nightmare. His wife was very confused and hurt and his kids didn’t know what to think. His dad was so upset he wanted to kick his ass, but he never did. And because he waited so long to be true to himself he went ape shit and ended up contracting aids. I know that this story is a little extreme but it just goes to show how not allowing yourself to be true you can do more harm than good.

As it is very true that we don’t all want the same things in life, which is good because that would just be nuts, it is also true that we can have, do or be anything we do want. We just have to be clear on what it is we do want and not destroy the dream with negative or contrary thoughts. And patients is a virtue. Just like the seed in the ground, once you plant it you have to know that the process is under way and all you have to do is go on with your life while it grows. Be easy about it, and don’t take unnecessary action. Wait for the inspired action to come. You’ll know when the time is right. There is such a thing as too much effort. Take your time and let the idea take shape before taking too much action. When you are truly following your bliss you will find that what you want comes easier and faster than you can imagine. It’s almost magical. But it is the way it should be. Life is meant to be abundant in all areas. You hit the lottery in so many ways everyday of your life. Just look around at the friends you have and the love that comes from friends and family. Look around and appreciate the beauty that shows up every morning with each new sunrise. The sky is like a giant canvas and every day there is a new painting to observe and be awed by. We all have so much to be joyful about, we just have to realize it and look for the silver lining every chance we get. Life can be so delicious if we let it.

When we worry or fret we block ourselves from the good stuff that is right outside our door waiting for us to let it in. The way to let it in is to stop resisting our urges and going with the flow. The flow of life that feels good and natural. Not forced, not because we have to, but easy and joyful. Relax into life and stay calm. Give yourself permission to rest more and have fun. Speak only about what you want in your life and never look back at what was, unless you want to keep it active in your world. See only the good in other people. And if there is someone in your life that is not matching your vibe it’s okay not to be around them. Your world is just that, you are the boss and no one can tell you how to live except you. Love yourself wholly. Be nice to yourself every day. And always know that the bigger part of you, your spirit, is always with you and is always willing to guide, assist, uplift and love you unconditionally. Yes, once you feel your god given power and realize that life is good there is no turning back. Being deliberate is so wonderful and awesome that once you practice yourself into your new world, you will never want to feel bad again. Yes, there will be times when you may have an un-expected reaction to some situation, but it is so much easier now to pull away from those bad feelings and align with your inner being (person) who is always seeing you as the person you are meant to be. And when I say practice I mean that this is an on-going thing that you will never get done. Because each time you reach a goal that will just cause you to set a new one. And you can’t get it wrong because it is your journey to pick and choose which route you want to take. Which is again about following your bliss.

So I say to whomever is reading this blog, go forth and prosper in whatever way you choose. Be happy and always be nice to yourself. Do everything from the mindset of love and follow your intuition, or your gut as they say. If it feels good do it and be selfish enough to care about how you feel. There is much love here for you.


Deb Mertan

Make a Decision Already!


Clarity is so liberating. Life is like a smorgasbord of things to choose from and when we feel unsure or out of sorts in some way it can feel very uncomfortable. As you may have noticed I have used the word “feel” a couple of times already and will be using it a lot more throughout this blog.When we are in between decisions we should give ourselves a little time to focus on each direction, even if there are several choices. We will know by the way we feel what is right for us at that moment. In reality there is no wrong direction. No matter which way we go it will all lead to the place we really want to be. One way just may take a little longer than another way. We must also realize that there is never just one way to do anything. And you may get to see and experience things you wouldn’t have if you took the other direction. But getting back to feeling, once you make a solid decision you feel better and ideas can flow more easily and you will be undergoing a very good journey. In actuality you are always on your right path but at times you may be going slower and other times you may be moving with the speed of light. Then again when we find ourselves dwelling on our miseries we may feel like we are swimming or paddling our boat upstream. It will seem very hard and not very enjoyable.

I want to tell you a little story about something that at that moment seemed like a disaster but turned out to be a pretty good day. One day I was driving down the freeway with my 7 year old daughter and my 3 year old son. As I was coming to the end of the off ramp there was a loud explosion. I had no idea what it could be. Suddenly black smoke was bellowing out from underneath my van so naturally I thought it was on fire. I jumped out and yelled at the kids to get out but they kept arguing about who should go first. I just reached in and pulled them out myself. Before I knew it there were about 4 firemen there with extinguishers that came from the fire station from across the street. It turned out that my transmission just blew a hole out the top and all the fluid came out causing the black smoke. I actually got back in the van and drove it to a gas station down the street where my brother-in-law was waiting for us. As soon as we pulled into the parking lot the van died completely. Of course we had to call a tow truck to come and take all of us to my favorite mechanic shop. From there we called a taxi cab to come and take us home. While in my mind I was thinking that this was a terrible day my little 3 year old son looked up at me and said, “We’re on an adventure, huh mom”. Suddenly things didn’t seem so bad and I said, “Yes we are son”. Because he showed me a whole new perspective and made me laugh, things instantly got better.

Our mindset needs to be adjusted just like the knob on the radio dial. We need to tune to the station that feels good to us. And sometimes we may feel that we are out of sync or even starting from scratch, but that is just the Universe saying, “Wake up you’re swimming upstream”. Once we switch back to the station that feels good then life will once again start to unfold in ways we never even imagined it could. Sometimes you will hear the most profound statements in movies too, like “The Santa Clause” with Tim Allen. I love the scene where he is at the North Pole talking to Judy the elf, saying, “I see it but I don’t believe it”. She says that most adults forget because they grow out of the belief, but that kids just know, because seeing is not believing, believing is seeing. Or the movie “Halloween Town” with Debbie Reynolds. She is flying on her broom stick with her grand-daughter on the back and the grand-daughter asks her how magic works. She says something to the effect of, I just think of what I want and then I let myself have it. Whatever we focus on the most is what is going to manifest in our lives whether it is good or bad. So don’t you think it is better to focus on what you do want rather than the lack of it? There are always signs and most of it comes through our feelings. I know that it can seem a little weird or uncomfortable to change the way you have been feeling. But if you really think about it everything that is new to you was uncomfortable at first. When you first learned to ride a bike or drive a car or especially use a computer, it was weird and uncomfortable, right? But now it is so easy you don’t even have to think about it. That is exactly what happens when we start being more deliberate and more decisive. At first we have to consciously recognized that we are in that wobbly undecided mode,  then we can deliberately make a decision and try it out for a couple of days and see how it feels. The beauty in this is that if it doesn’t feel good we can always change the station and go in another direction. See, it’s a fail safe design.

Another thing that doesn’t feel good is when we are being judged, especially by ourselves, or judging others. That kind of thinking only holds us back or causes us to be going upstream again, which only delays the good stuff. When I find myself thinking in this manner I have to ask the question, “What would unconditional love do?” There is no judgment in unconditional, so if we just love we will see that that is the only way to truly bring joy into our own hearts. That joy will radiate out into the Universe and cause an avalanche of happiness to all that come in contact with you. Then you will be flowing down stream again until the next time something feels off.

Even though words can’t really teach, they can evoke feelings that help bring all your desires to fruition. And once you get a taste of the happiness and joy that comes with being true to yourself and making the decisions that turn you on and excite you to go forward, you can never go back. Sometimes life doesn’t turn out like you thought it would, sometimes it turns out better. So enjoy the roller coaster ride and go with the flow, whatever that may be for you.

With all my Love,

Deb Mertan

New Perspective


New Perspective

People these days are too preoccupied with the negative stuff happening all over the world right now. The news repeats everything over and over again until I want to slit my own throat, figuratively of course. I know that we need to know when bad things are happening, but I don’t understand why we have to hear about it relentlessly, until people start feeling scared to walk out of their own homes. And we can’t blame the media for putting it out there because by us watching it on CNN or whatever news channel you prefer, we are saying, “So give us more bad news, that’s what we want to hear about.”

Now, if you believe in the law of attraction, and I do, you have to see that by focusing on this bad stuff we are just getting more bad stuff. I know many of you may be thinking, “What can I do, I am only one person.” But if every “one person” stopped watching the news and reading newspapers it would send a big fat message to the media to change things up. There are plenty of good things happening in our world too. We need to give a majority of our attention to the good stuff and only glimpse at the bad stuff for comparison or reference. There should be only two times per day that you get updated on the bad news. Once in the morning and once in the early evening. That way you have time to shake it off before you go to sleep at night. Whatever we hear last is probably what our subconscious mind will dwell on while we sleep. And having the bad news only twice a day can give the media a chance to research what they are talking about and give true facts. Have you ever really listened to some of these reporters when they say things like, “I think  he may have meant this”, and then they give their false opinion on the subject. That sticks in people’s minds and then the rumors start to get around and everything goes haywire. We need real facts so that we can all make educated decisions on what we want to believe.

Another thing that the media could do is have a love moment every hour or so. What I mean by this is, they have so much power and access to the world that if they started a love moment and had everyone watching; close their eyes and send loving energy to the whole world, especially to our enemies, the vibe of the whole universe would change and we would see people getting along and truly loving one another.

The law of attraction says that what we focus on the most is what will come to us. Whether it’s good or bad we will bring it to ourselves, so why not make it good. Love attracts love, while hate and fear only attracts more hate and fear. How simple is that?

Science and religion are now starting to come together. God would not have let us know science if it wasn’t going to be useful. This is bringing a sense of new found spirituality to the world. People are seeing that by changing the way they think and speak it is causing a change in consciousness. Science has proven through quantum physics that our minds are very powerful and if we learn to use them more efficiently we will all live much happier and more fulfilling lives. Our part of this is to research everything ourselves and not just automatically believe everything we hear. People lie and distort the truth, but these days we have more information than ever right at our fingertips, through internet, books, You Tube videos, and numerous other places. There is no reason these days for rumors to get out of hand. Start watching videos on quantum physics and metaphysical quantum physics and you will be amazed at what you find. We are all energy and we are all connected. We can change the spirituality of the world if we all focus on the good. You have to say what you mean and mean what you say. Be honest and forthright. Send fear packing and send love to everyone and everything every day. Get to know who you really are, and if you are not who you want to be then become the person you want to be. Individually we all need to do our part so that we can come together as one world. I have been becoming myself for quite some time now and I just love myself more and more as I learn about what I really want. My life has changed so drastically for the better that I just have to share it with all who are reading this blog. I would love nothing more than to see the world come together as one and end hunger and suffering and all wars once and for all. I hope that this message spreads like wild fire and we all start focusing on the good. Have a new perspective.

Love, Deb

Be Intentional


It’s not for me to know why someone else does what they do. I can only take care of me and my journey in life. I just know that if we would all pay attention to the coincidences of our own journeys we would realize our true path and see that it’s okay to switch tracks to re-invent ourselves. This is what I’ve come to realize about my journey, I have learned to trust my gut feelings. These deep feelings are there for a reason. It is our higher selves or the Universe or God or whoever you feel is out there helping you, trying to communicate with us. There are always signs that go along with the feelings that can show you the way to go, but you need to really pay attention.  When I say be intentional. I mean to really know what it is you want in this life. Once you make it clear to your higher self etc. you will start attracting the things and people that will help you get there. It’s not always going to be the way you think it will be so you need to stay aware. For example I have always said that one day I was going to have a big house where lots of different people could come and stay and work on their own talents. But one day I realized that even though I don’t have the big house YET, I always have people living with me that eventually find their true path and then move on to a happier life. It is very easy to be on the wrong path if you are not awake. You’ll know when you are going astray. When you’re going back to the feelings, where you don’t feel secure or safe or perfect or good.

When I first started on my own new journey I was doing all the right things like my vision board, mantras, positive quotes, and thinking and talking differently. But I didn’t feel like it was all happening fast enough. What I came to realize was that I wasn’t feeling it deeply enough. I was feeling it but not down deep in my gut. Then one day a switch flipped in my head and I got it. I started seeing that everything that had happened up until now was happening by design, my design. I was calling everything into my life that I needed to help me learn the lessons I needed to learn to become the best me ever. It comes down to, seeing is not believing, but believing is seeing. So once we intend something, which is like asking for it, we must believe that it is ours already, and then stay alert and receive it when it comes with gratitude and joy. Another example of this in my life was when I had just gotten my washer fixed and my refrigerator was going bad, so I simply stated, as if it were already a fact, as if I had already received it, without a doubt that it was mine already, that the next thing I was going to get was a side by side refrigerator. 2 days later my roommate told me that his parents had just sold their rental house, that just happened to be very near to us, and they had a refrigerator there and we could have it if we wanted it. Of course I did. It was a white side by side and it was huge compared to my dinky frig. See, I never said the words, “buy” or “new”. I just said side by side refrigerator. But seriously being specific is very helpful. I also said one night that I wished someone would come to my door with a big bag of candy and they did, but it was hard candy and I really wanted chocolate. I should have been more specific. It is the attitude and conviction that you ask for things which brings it faster and faster. And the more you see the results and believe that it is because you intended it, and for no other reason, the quicker it will manifest for you.

Now besides being intentional you must also fill yourself with love, and I mean true love which starts from within and radiates out to the Universe, to everyone and everything, and this includes our enemies. It is especially important to send love to enemies because when we hate it, just gets bigger. When we love it does the same thing, it gets bigger.

I am sure that there are some people that think there is only one way to get into heaven, but I think that there are many ways to do everything so why not heaven. When we over flow ourselves with love it has to go out and effect everyone else and then come back to us full force. Just think if everyone on earth did this, we would make living on earth as close to heaven as we could get before actually getting there. And feeling this good could only mean one thing and that is that you have to be on your right path. This is when we feel most alive and free of worry, hate, regret, negative thinking and speaking, and anything else that makes us feel bad and ugly inside.

The way I see it is that the Universe is this giant machine that runs perfectly managed by God, who has purposefully put us here on this earth to love one another. If we can do this we will be able to find the inner peace that we all seek. I know there are people that do bad things but I feel that it comes from a lack of love, and knowledge. People need to be educated about this and shown by example, as Martin Luther King Jr. showed. Even though he knew that there were people that didn’t agree with him, he still kept going. The same can be said for Jesus I suppose. He was kind and loved everyone and everything even though he knew that the rulers of the day wanted to destroy everything he stood for. But he stayed true to his self and everyone else no matter what the consequences might be. The people that do the bad things are throwing a wrench into the works so to speak. But this can be stopped if all the good people start sharing their love with the Universe to spread it far and wide and to bring the harmony that we all want and need.

I feel that if we all intend for love to rule the world then it will. We need to create love circles like prayer chains. Like hands across America did only all the time not just once. That is my wish, to intentionally create a love filled Universe, so that we can all be on our right path and just be happy and filled with joy at all times. But it all starts on the inside of each and every one of us. So do yourself and everyone else a favor and look yourself in the eye in the mirror and tell yourself that you love you. It is a good place to start.

With all my love, Deb Mertan

That Sneaky Doubt


I know that it is easier said than done when someone is constantly telling you to think positive. What about all the negative things that go on every day in our lives? We grow up watching our parents worry over money or some other out of control situation, but really it’s normal for things to be this way. This is where positive thinking comes in. It is our reactions to these situations that makes the difference. Think about it, what good does it do to worry or stress out about anything. In fact you are actually doing more harm than good when you react in this manner. Maybe some parents handled things with an attitude of fear and hopelessness which in turn would rub off on the children. But the ones that handled it with, “Oh, this is just another challenge to deal with”, attitude, taught the children that any situation can have a silver lining. Unfortunately more parents were doom and gloom type folks so it is hard for a lot of people to see the forest for the trees.

I happened to come from a doom and gloom family. My father was a big time gambler and my mother was struck with a debilitating disease and died when I was in my early twenties. There are 5 siblings so the fighting was never ending and I couldn’t wait to move out on my own to finally get some peace and quiet. When I finally did move out it gave me the calmness I needed to work on myself and find my true path in this life. I read books, learned to meditate and even joined a gym to get myself balanced in all directions. Things seemed to be going well for me in all aspects of life except in the love arena. It seemed that I was always finding guys that didn’t want to fully commit to me. I felt it was because I was ahead of my time and I just needed to find someone that could understand me. I actually did get married in my early thirties, but only because I wanted children and I happened to find someone that wanted children too. I had been running my own business for about ten years at that time, and was quite successful at it so I knew that even if it didn’t work out with this guy I could take care of myself and a child, so I went for it. We married and settled into a dull routine, and I stayed for twenty years. But one day I woke up and said, “I can’t do this anymore”. By now I was in my early fifties and I didn’t want to waste any more of what was left of my youth. I still felt young and energetic and I wanted to explore life to the fullest, so I left my husband. This was at a time when the recession hit hard and I was barely making any money. I ended up in a one bathroom, three bedroom house with eight other people besides me. This was a challenge but somehow we made it work. I had two teenage children now and things got so tight that I was feeling very low and out of sorts. We were there for a year and a half before I got a call that my husband had died. It was quite a shock, but it was also a blessing in disguise. Because we were still married I got his pension and Social Security. This gave me enough money for my two kids and me to move out on our own. We were all very happy about that because it was a chance for a fresh start. We found a four bedroom house which gave me an extra room to rent out to a boarder, which in turn gave me a little more money to keep my house hold going for quite some time.

The recession was still in effect but we were doing alright for a while. Then part of the Social Security ran out and they were only giving me money for my son. I was still struggling with my business and I felt my faith fading. Not only that but my tenant moved out suddenly and that left another hole in my income. Needless to say my doom and gloom was taking over and I felt hopeless. Then when my son turned eighteen and they stopped his Social Security, and that was the straw that broke the camel’s back.  I was sinking into a deep depression and I didn’t know what I was going to do.

That wasn’t the worst part, now I was being evicted from the house after two years and I didn’t know if anyone else would rent to me with that on my record. I decided to do something drastic. If I was going to turn this mess around I had to feel myself with hope and faith. I began by looking up ways to lift my spirits no matter what was going on around me. I read mantras, quotes and stories of people that had been down and lifted their selves back up. I learned little tricks, like making a list of ten things I loved about myself and reading it every day before I left the house. I would smile at myself in the mirror and say, “I love you” to my reflection. Almost instantly I found myself in a better frame of mind, it took a couple of days to really get the ball rolling, but it was rolling. At first I started noticing little things changing. Like people being extra nice to me and most of them were strangers. Then my landlord called and said he knew I was having trouble with money so he wanted to give me a month’s free rent. I was astounded. Unfortunately I was so far behind in everything that the free rent was just a minor fix, but it was the beginning of my new understanding of positive thinking. As long as I kept this up things could only get better. I made it a rule in my home that there would be no more doom and gloom and we were to all help support each other whenever one of us felt that way.

Well I fell behind in the rent again and the landlord was forced to try the eviction once again. But this time I wasn’t scared and I calmly sat down to think about my options. My daughter was old enough now that she could get us a place to live in her name if it came down to it, and that’s when the miracles really started to happen. All of a sudden my phone rang and it was a friend of mine that owned a rental property. She said that her tenants just gave notice that they were moving and she wanted to know if I wanted to rent her place. Well of course I said yes. By the time my court date came I was ready with a plan of action to get everything in order to go the way I wanted it to, and it did. I did not waver in my quest to get things on the right track and lo and behold everything went according to plan.

Well it has been a couple of years now since all that went down and I have to say that life just keeps getting better and better. Oh sure I have to keep reminding myself to think positive, especially when something goes awry and I start feeling that sneaky doubt try to works its way into my mind, and it will try. That is where remembering to remember that I am in control of me, not the world around me, I am in my own world, just like everyone else is in their own world. I choose to be happy and to believe that anything is possible. I have seen it with my own two eyes and I will never waver ever again no matter how events unfold in my life. In fact I have given my past life new meaning so that I can see the positive that came out of it, like if this didn’t happen then that couldn’t have happened. And the future is unknown so I can make it anything I want it to be. I let my life unfold a little at a time so that I don’t get over anxious and worried. It does no good to feel these ugly feelings when you could just choose to feel good all the time.

So when you choose to be happy and that sneaky doubt comes knocking on your door, just say, “No thank you!” and move on to the next happy thought. Just so you know I have written a whole workbook on how to get to this place in your life, it’s called, “Choose a Powerfully Positive Life”. You can find me on the Amazon Kindle. I hope this story has given you hope that life can be exactly what you want it to be, because it can!  So, until next time…

With all my Love, Deb

Focus on the Good

focus on the good 2

   Have you ever noticed how the bad things in life get so much attention? Like when there is a disaster the media jumps on it and repeats it over and over again until we are inundated by it. That’s all we as a whole world can think about. Like 9-11 for instance, it just about drove me into a deep depression, so much so that I literally had to stop watching and listening to all news reports. Now I’m not saying that we should ignore these awful events that come up, I’m saying that we should acknowledge that they happened and then focus on how to get things back on track in a positive way. When we keep focusing on how horrible it was we tend to bring more horrible stuff to us. Instead we should stop all repetitive news reports and talk about what we are doing to rebuild and protect our country from now on. Yes we will grieve, and rightly so. But we can’t let it consume us. That’s when we become weak and defenseless. I’m also not saying that we should ever forget what happened because we lost a lot of good people during that time, but we have to move on for the sake of the world.  Situations like 9-11 are not the only bad things that people dwell on. What about serial killers? Why do we give them so much attention? Yes it is good to know when we need to be more cautious, but then the media takes over again and that is all that you hear about for days or even weeks sometimes. That killer is in his glory now because he is on the news and everyone knows his name. I know that is a sick way of looking at it but it’s true. He wants to be recognized, and the news people give it to him. I’m not saying that it is all on the media for bringing this about because we the people are the ones buying the newspapers and watching the television broadcasts. We are giving them too much attention which in turn, in my opinion, just brings more of that behavior about. And not only do we see it on the news but then somebody thinks it’s a good idea to make a movie about the crime. Oh boy, that’s just more glory for the bad stuff. Do you see where I’m going with this? Look, I know that bad stuff happens all the time. Without dark there would be no light, and without bad there would be no good. We need to acknowledge it and then move on from it. If we ignore the bad we just postpone the inevitable, which is more of the bad stuff. Recognize it so that we can figure out where to go from there. We need to be aware of both sides to keep ourselves balanced.

Now let’s talk about the people that focus mostly on the bad stuff. What happens is these people draw to them all the misfortune they can muster up. Not to say that these types of individuals don’t have good things happen as well, but they just don’t seem to realize that they are having good moments. Instead they look for what is wrong in every situation no matter how much fun they are having. They are always waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak. I’m here to tell you that no matter how bad things seem there is always a silver lining. You just have to analyze the situation and find it. I know that sometimes it feels impossible to feel happy, but taking deep breaths and focusing on a happy thought will bring you back to center. We need to reflect the situation so that the good will pop out at you. Have you ever been somewhere that you didn’t want to be and all of a sudden you meet the one person that could help you on a project you’ve been working on? You look back later and realize that if you had not gone there or had left early like you had intended you would not have met this person. That’s because there is something guiding you. Whether you call it God, the universe, Buddha or any other name, it doesn’t matter. If you think about it they all have the same qualities. They are invisible, they are always working for us weather we realize it or not, and we are believing without seeing. But, if you pay close attention you will see that everything you focus on, good or bad, is being given to you. So doesn’t it make sense to focus more on the good things so that more of that will be given to you?

Let’s take that one step further. Say you are in a situation where someone is treating you badly. How do you FEEL when this happens? If you feel pain and anger is this something you like and want? If not, do you think there is something you could do to make yourself feel good again? If all you are thinking about is how badly you are being treated then what you are doing is drawing more of that kind of situation to you. Even if you are saying that you don’t want whatever it is that is bringing you sorrow you are still giving it attention. What you need to do is recognize what it is you don’t want so that you can focus on what you do want. For example, if your boss is treating you badly you must stop dreading the thought of seeing them. Instead when you see their car in the parking lot say to yourself, “Oh good so-n-so is here today, I’m so happy.” Pretend that you are so happy to see them that when you actually do you smile at them and act as polite as possible. Fake it ‘til you make it, in other words. Have confidence in yourself. By you changing your attitude toward the situation you will change the way others perceive you. You need to go into it with a whole new mindset and in turn people will treat you better. You can use this method in any situation and it helps to have a good imagination.

As humans we can’t change the way others think but we can change the way we think about ourselves. If we don’t love ourselves how can we expect anyone else to truly love us? We can only take care of number one and then the rest will fall into place. If I only had one wish it would be that everyone in the world would love their self as they love their new born baby or their mother or their best friend. Not selfish love but true love. Then in turn we would all be able to love one another and life would be wonderful, just think, no more wars, instead we would have peace gatherings.

This wish is not impossible. All it will take is for each individual person to start loving their self and focusing on good things that will bring the world together as one huge family. If everyone would focus on the same wish it is totally doable. So get to it everyone. Love yourself, deeply. Allow yourself to be happy. Figure out what you want and let yourself have it. I know it sounds simple to just change the way you think, but it works. Give it a shot and see. You will be amazed and astounded at the difference it will make in your life and the lives of all people you encounter. All you have to do is change you and the rest will follow.

FYI, the universe is always ready and willing to grant all your wishes so make them good ones. I love you all and want only the best for you. So until next time be happy and prosper.

Your Friend, Deb Mertan