Vacation is Not a Luxury, It’s a Necessity

     This blog was inspired by one of my roommates. She is what I call, a yes person. What I mean is she never says no, or I don’t have time. She is a people pleaser. And that’s all well and good until it starts to make a person sick. Her boss has her working six days a week and twelve hours a day. And then she goes over to her mom’s house and paints something or fixes something. And everyone knows she’s a good mechanic, so she’s always asked to change oil or fix brakes and a whole array of other tasks. She even found a bunch of abandoned kittens and got up every two hours for weeks to feed them. Only three survived, but that was truly a miracle because they were practically dead when she found them. When they were old enough she gave two of them away and we kept the runt. Her name is Lola, and she is a little devil. You would never know that she was brought back from the brink of death. 

      Lately I’ve been noticing that my roommate hasn’t been as lively as she usually is. So I told her that she needs a vacation. I reminded her that we all need to balance our lives so that we don’t burn out or get sick. I told her that vacation is not a luxury, it is a necessity. Have you ever heard the saying, “All work and no play makes whomever it is a dull person”? Well sayings catch on for a reason. It’s because they bare a bit of truth. Life can really become dull when we don’t take care of the necessities. And as I have mentioned a couple of times already, it could even make a person very sick or something worse. 

     This is where being selfish comes in. And I don’t mean the kind of selfishness that hurts other people, I mean the kind of selfishness that cares about how a person feels. We are the only ones who can take care of that department. It is up to each and every one of us to make sure we feel good. In fact, I will go so far as to say it is our duty to keep ourselves well rounded. And that doesn’t mean we don’t do for others or work a lot, it means we take time to do what feels good as well. Before Covid hit I used to take one weekend a month and go somewhere. It didn’t matter if it was a trip to the beach or a visit with a friend or relative, but it had to be away from home. The reason it has to be away from home is because if I stay home I always find something that needs to be done, and it wouldn’t be a rest. Of course it would be nice to take care of the chores around the house, but that stuff will always be there and I can do it when I feel like it. Did you hear that? I said when I feel like it. Not when I have to do it or that I should do it. When I do anything I get myself in a frame of mind that helps make it fun. That way the job gets done faster and I don’t feel any angst while doing it. It’s a little tricky at first when you’re trying to make doing dishes or laundry fun, but it can happen. Have you ever heard the saying, “Whistle while you work”? It works, or you could put some music on and dance while you’re doing the dishes. I know it sounds funny, but that’s the point. You need to get out of your head and find ways to make it fun. 

     After Covid hit,  I stayed home like the rest of the world, But I still found ways to have fun. First of all I don’t listen to news of any kind. It’s just too depressing. I mostly  watch comedies. And I started crocheting again. In a year and a half I made twenty five blankets and secretly sent them to friends and relatives. It is fun to surprise people like that. In addition I wrote a lot of blogs which is also fun for me. And I published another book as well. As you can see I keep myself pretty busy, but only with things I love to do. 

     Now that Covid has lifted it’s restrictions I’m starting to go places again. I took a trip to Laughlin with a couple of friends, and I am going to Las Vegas in August, then I am booked on a three day cruise in October. 

     You know, I say this in almost every blog I write, “Life is supposed to be fun”. And it doesn’t have to cost a lot to get away for a weekend. You could go camping or get a hotel room near the beach or just take a long drive and see where you end up. The important thing is that you get away from your normal life and do something fun. These are just examples of things you can do, and I’m sure your wheels are turning right now thinking about things you would like to do. You can’t wait until you’re retired to start having fun. You might be too old or sick by then. Now is the time. In fact now is all we have. The past is gone and the future is uncertain. Live now! Have fun as much as possible NOW! Give yourself a break and see the world through rose colored glasses. Make your world exactly that, YOUR WORLD! You deserve to be happy. You are worthy of every good thing this Universe has to offer, and that’s everything. So, as I told my roommate, you need to balance. 

    Now go out there and show the world what a happy balanced person looks like. And remember there is always great love for you here.

                                                Very Truly Yours,

                                                           Deb Mertan

Choose Your Words With Care

     I know you’ve heard the saying, “Be careful what you wish for, because it may come true”. Well that is a very true statement, but I would like to add a little change to that. I feel that when you really wish for something, and you focus on it with real feeling behind it, it will come true. Where focus goes, energy flows. And it doesn’t really matter if you focus on good things or bad things, it is the focus that brings whatever it is you are thinking about. So wouldn’t you want to be careful and choose your thoughts and words with positive intention? I know it has made a big difference in my life.

     When I was young, I grew up in what I call a madhouse. My father was always angry. It didn’t matter how well we cleaned the house, he would always find something wrong and focus on that and then beat up the person or persons responsible. He equated fear with respect. The more his five children feared him, the more he felt respected. What a goof-ball! Who thinks like that? He is now in his mid-eighties and has a very strained relationship with my four siblings. I, being the oldest, am the only one who ever stood up to him. And I’m the only one who will take care of him in his old age. He has dementia as well, so that makes it even harder, but it is what it is. It’s more like I’m the mom and he’s the kid now. So in essence you can see the correlation that his way of thinking brought about his disconnection with his kids. Now I know that he wasn’t wishing for that, but a wish or a belief or any thought that you keep thinking is going to have reprecushions. What you put out you get back. Or as Karma says, “What goes around, comes around”, or you reap what you sow. All these sayings have real meaning behind them. It is so important to realize that we all create our own world around us, and it comes through our thoughts and our words. 

     Another thing to watch out for is complaining. When you complain or find fault with someone or even yourself, you bring all of that to you. Remember this is an attraction based Universe.Whenever you focus on anything for a while, whether it be good or bad, it will eventually come to you. The Universe does not hear the word no. Anything you give your attention to is a yes as far as it is concerned. So what should you do about that, you ask? Well, you could start catching yourself doing it. When you complain, whether outloud or in your mind, stop and say something like, “I don’t know why that person did what they did because I don’t know what their life has been like”, Or when you complain about yourself you could stop and say, “I didn’t do so well this time, but I know I will get better at it”. These are just examples so I hope you get the gist.

     Now let’s talk about words like should and have to. When you say things like that to yourself it makes whatever you’re doing feel forced. But when you say you want to do whatever it is, it feels freer and maybe even fun. You know it is all in the way you look at what you’re doing that makes it fun or not. Like Mary Poppins says, “When you find an element of fun the job becomes a snap”. Or something to that effect. As I have been saying for many years now, “I don’t do anything I don’t want to do. Not to say that I don’t do chores or pay bills, it’s just that I line up with the task at hand and find a way to make it fun, or at least not terrible. And seriously when you pay your bills with joy it let’s the Universe know that you appreciate your money and it brings you more of it. When you do things with joy in your heart it doesn’t feel hard or unpleasant. And because everything is energy, including money, you will start to notice money coming from places you didn’t even know existed. So when you focus on money in a positive way the Universe says, “Oh you like that, here’s some more”.It’s like that with everything. If you are hateful or mean or feeling bad in any way, the Universe says here’s more, it’s the law. Law of attraction that is. You must change the way you feel and speak about everything if you want to live a happier, more fulfilling life.  

Really, choose your words with care. When you say, “I’m broke”, what do you think happens? You got it, you stay broke. But if you put a different spin on that statement like, “I’m temporarily out of funds”, it lets the Universe know that you are expecting more money to come. And instead of saying something like, “Oh I forgot my purse”, Say,”Oh I just remembered my purse is still on the counter”, this starts a new way of remembering things better. It’s really very simple. People make life so much harder than they need to. And a lot of what we do we learned from a parent or a teacher or even our government. It’s time for all of us to start thinking about what feels right in our own lives. It is our God given right to feel good. Isn’t that what we are all striving for? I know I am! And the best way to feel good is to enjoy your life. Stop worrying, (because it doesn’t help anything),  about what anyone else is doing and do what feels right to you. I know this sounds kind of selfish, and it is, but it is a good kind of selfish.  It’s like when you’re on an airplane and the flight attendant says to put your oxygen mask on first before you help anyone else. This is because if you can’t breathe you can’t help anyone else. We must all be selfish in a way that keeps us on our right path. It is so true that the joy is in the journey. Life is supposed to be good and fun. And you are the master of your own domain, your world and your life. 

     I know this is a short blog and there are so many more words to discuss, but I feel you get what I’m saying, and that you will feel when your words and thoughts feel off to you. When you really start paying attention to how your words and thoughts make you feel, you will want to find the words and thoughts that make you feel better. At first it might not be a whole lot better, but that’s okay. Even a little better feeling is good because it’s a step in the right direction. Baby steps are recommended because quantum leaps are too hard. Just be nice to yourself and keep practicing to find what feels better and eventually it will feel normal for you to be happy. Anything worth accomplishing takes practice. And so long as you don’t give up, no matter how long it takes, you will achieve your goals. And what is that goal? It is to feel good! And once you start feeling good your whole life will change for the better. It’s that simple. Have you ever heard the saying, “Laugh and the world laughs with you”?Well it’s true. Once you master your words, thoughts and feelings that is what you will attract. People, circumstances and events will start to emerge in your life, and you will feel a guidance from within that can take you to whatever your heart desires. I’m not kidding! But again, you need to pay attention. Things are being revealed to you all day everyday, but if you don’t put two and two together you’re not seeing the connection. When good things happen, think about what your thoughts have been. Did you ask for that in some way? For example, I’ve always wanted a big house with all different people living with me. And even though I don’t have the big house yet, I do have several roommates that all get along and all bring something different to the table. And when something bad happens, think about what your thoughts, words and/or feelings have been. For example, if you keep saying that you’ll never get that promotion at work, guess what, you’ll never get that promotion. Like the saying goes, “Like attracts like”. Focus is powerful, so don’t you think it would be wise to focus on the wanted and leave the unwanted out of the equation altogether? I do! So in re-capping I will say this, think about what you want, and never it’s opposite. Speak words that feel good, and if something comes up that doesn’t feel right change it immediately.Know that life is supposed to feel good, and it is your job to create the life you truly want. And it’s okay to be, do or have ANYTHING you desire. You are the master and only you know what’s right for you! 

     Now go out there and be the best you you can be. The world needs you to be exactly who you are. God didn’t make spare parts, so you have a place in this world. You are special and unique. You are what makes the world go round. And remember there is always great love for you here. 


                                             Deb Mertan

Change Your thinking, Change Your Life

   I have been studying the art of allowing for a while now, which is something I learned from Abraham-Hicks. And if you haven’t heard of them I suggest you look them up. They are a cadre of infinite intelligent beings that speak through Ester Hicks. You can ask them anything and they will answer your questions as precisely and directly as possible. You will see that they are for real by the profound answers they give. And the best part is that nothing is off limits. But the funny thing is that no matter how many millions of questions they are asked, they always seem to have the same answer in the end. And that is to be happy and your life will morph into the life you truly want. You see, we are all spiritual beings having human experiences, and it is our job to ask for what we want. That’s the first step. Then the second step is when infinite intelligence takes over and starts collecting all the components that will bring whatever it is you ask for to fruition. And part three is your job once again, and that is to recognize when what you want is here and you let yourself have it. I know this sounds too simplistic, but I have been practicing this for a while now and my life just keeps getting better everyday. 

   People think that when they get whatever it is they want that they will be happy. But that’s backward thinking. Oh, they might be happy for a while but that only lasts for a short time because they haven’t changed their thinking. You see, you must be happy first. Then the things you want will come and it will be fast. And when you do get whatever it is you’ve asked for you will be satisfied and eager for more. It’s just the way it works. As humans we are always looking for the next idea, or fun time, or a new mate, or the next great job, or the next new home. It’s a never ending process.But if you’re waiting for any of these things to happen before you’ll be happy, then you’ll never really be happy. I hope you’re getting this because it’s very important that you understand what I’m saying. 

   Now in order to be happy first you must change your thinking. What I mean is you need a new perspective. Look for the silver lining in all situations. Talk to yourself and say nice things. For instance, when you look in the mirror say to yourself, “I love you” and state your name. But if that feels uncomfortable you can say, “I’m willing to love you” until you can say, “I love you”. You can learn about mirror work from Louise Hay. She was a self-love coach and she has lots of processes on how this can be accomplished. Also when changing your perspective you can start looking for positive aspects in other people. Don’t focus on the negative because what you give your attention to will manifest whether you want it or not. See people the way you want to see them. But there are always those people that seem to be stuck in their negativity, and they can’t figure out how to change that. The best you can do for a person like that is be a good example of a positive person, and hope that they will learn inadvertently through you. But don’t try to make that happen. In reality you can only think for yourself. All people have the same opportunity to be happy. It’s up to them to make the change. 

   Another thing to work on while changing your thinking is your self-talk. Do you constantly belittle yourself, even in small ways? Like do you call yourself dumb or stupid? Or look in the mirror and only see flaws? These things may seem small but what you are doing is perpetuating the things you don’t like about yourself. In order to change your outside, you must change your inside first. When you call yourself smart your subconscious mind will find ways to prove that you are. You see your subconscious mind does not reason, it only takes what you believe and keeps giving you more of that. So since we all have to think, why not make it good thoughts? And stop worrying about what anybody thinks about you, because it’s really none of your business. They are not living your life, therefore they cannot think for you. You are the master of your thoughts. You have every right to be, do or have anything you desire. Actually we are all spiritual beings having human experiences. We are all part of this infinite intelligence that makes up the entire Universe. Once you realize this you can create your world exactly the way you want it to be. It will feel magical or miraculous. People will wonder how you accomplish all the things you do. Life will be fun and your energy levels will be through the roof. Time will flow  seamlessly, and you will always feel the power of the Universe, showing you, knowing you, loving you, having fun with you and so much more. Everything, and I mean everything, comes from the same place. That is what is known as Source or God or infinite intelligence. As Abraham always says, “It’s as easy to create a castle as it is to create a button. It’s all the same process. It just depends on how you think and feel about what you think that makes things happen. 

 So, you see that it is very important if you want to live your most authentic life, to learn how to change your beliefs, which are just thoughts that you keep thinking, to beliefs that serve you. Become one with nature and flow love to everyone and everything, and see how your world will change to exactly the life you want.

   So now is the time to start your new journey. Have fun with it and be the best you. No one else can do it for you. Remember there is always great love here for you.


                                           Deb Mertan

If It’s not a Hell Yes, It’s a Hell NO!

   Have you ever been trying to decide something and you kept weighing the pros and the cons, and you just couldn’t make any kind of a decision? And the more you tried the more frustrated you got and you maybe even felt sick to your stomach. Well, I have a simple solution to all that. My motto is that if it’s not a hell yes, then it’s a “HELL NO!” 

   Okay, I know that sounds too simple, but I’m telling you it works. And I’m not saying that it will never turn into a hell yes, I’m saying that when you feel anxious or scared or nervous, or any other ugly feeling, make it a hell no. Then you have at least made a decision and your mind can clear out. Once you get your head out of the way you can go on and do something else, or lets say, anything else,and lo and behold the answer you really want will just come to you.

   You see, when you are chasing the answer, it always eludes you. It’s like a game of cat and mouse. But, when you relax and forget about it for a while, the right answer will appear like magic. You know, the problem and the solution are two very different vibrations. So you need a clear mind to let the solution come more quickly, and easily I might add. Again, I know this sounds too simple, but it’s true. The more you stress, the more stress will be there for you. But on the other hand, the more you relax and have fun, the more you’ll be able to follow your inner guide to do what feels best for you. 

   As I say over and over again, and I learned it from Abraham-Hicks, life is supposed to be good. And when it isn’t good for you, then you are the only one that can do anything about it. And what is it you are supposed to do, you ask? Well first of all you  need to pay attention to your words. What you say is very important. If you are putting yourself down in any way, you are limiting yourself big time. Every time you say something like “I’m so dumb”, you are telling your subconcious mind that you are not smart, and it believes you. So guess what, you are not smart. But if you catch yourself saying those kinds of things and change it immediately to something like, “I’m not dumb, just ignorant of how to do that particular thing.” you are just saying you haven’t learned that particular thing yet. Or if you say things like “I am fat”, you are going to continue to be fat. You can change that to, “I am perfect as I am as I am finding my true weight.”  then there are the feelings that you feel. Pay attention to how you feel when you say things to yourself. Yes, I said when you say things to yourself. You need to talk to yourself often. Let yourself know that you care about how you feel and how you look. You can do this while looking in the mirror, which is something Louise Hay teaches. She says to tell yourself everyday that you love you. But if that seems uncomfortable say, “I’m willing to love you” as you look yourself in the eye. Eventually you will be able to really feel the love come through. All these simple exercises help take your mind to new places.You will discover new things and talents you never even knew you had. When you truly love yourself your whole outer world will change for the better. But you have to practice all day every day, until it becomes the norm for you. And then you will always know if it’s a hell yes or a hell no. You will be in touch with your inner being who always has your back. You will be more able to trust that you make right decisions for yourself. This is how Abraham-Hicks says it, “You will be working in concert with infinite intelligence.” We are all part of this infinite intelligence whether we know it or not. We have the power right here right now to create our own worlds individually, in any way we choose. Remember, happiness is a choice, just as misery is a choice. You have the power right now to start your journey to self love and true improvement over your personal life. Now is all we have at any given moment. The past is gone and the future has not been written yet. We can be, do or have anything our hearts desire. 

   Look, there are thousands of books, meditation, videos, mantras, and famous quotes,etc. that you can find if you really want to change your life. Leave everyone else out of the equation when making a decision. After all, they are only the peanut gallery, and they don’t know what’s best for you. Only you know that. So again, if it’s not a hell yes, it’s a HELL NO! At least until you change your mind.

   I hope this blog helped you. This is one of my favorite mantras because it gives me the freedom to make the right choice for me. So go forth and find love from within, and talk to yourself everyday. Give yourself good advice as you would to a friend or a child. You are a worthy being, and you are infinite intelligence. You are an infinite being as well. Live life your way. Like Frank Sinatra sings, “I did it my way.” He had the right idea. So until next time remember, there is always great love here for you. 


                                                       Deb Mertan

Death is not the End

   When I was 23 years old my mother passed away. She was 41 and at that time, in my young mind, she seemed old. But when I finally reached that age I realized how young she really was. At the time of her death I experienced many different emotions. You see, she had MS (multiple sclerosis), which was very hard to detect back then. She had so many different symptoms, and the doctors thought it was everything from sugar diabetes to a tumor behind her eye. By the time they figured it out she was quite sick. She was so unhappy that she actually tried to take her own life a couple of times. But I caught her with the pills in her hand and took them away from her. I just couldn’t knowingly let her do it. But as time went on she eventually ended up in a convalescent hospital. That’s when she really gave up completely. That’s when she found a way to let herself go. She refused to eat and they had to force feed her through a tube. But even that wasn’t enough to sustain her. She had made up her mind that she didn’t want to live like that anymore.

   The last time I saw her she was only about 75 pounds. She looked like a skeleton with skin. I remember hugging her and telling her I loved her, but she had really lost touch with reality. She smiled and patted me on the back as I laid across her chest and cried. I went home that night and cried and yelled at God to please take her. Why did she have to suffer anymore? Why did me and my family need to suffer anymore? I just wanted it to stop. 

   Believe it or not, just a few days later it happened. I was in school at a beauty college when I saw my dad pull into the parking lot. I ran outside and he yelled for me to get in the car. And although I was pretty sure why he was there I still asked “Why?” He just yelled again and moved into the passenger seat so that I could drive because he was too upset. I knew where to go even though he didn’t tell me. 

   When we got to the hospital we went to the front desk and told the woman there who we came to see. She said in a very pleasant voice, “Oh yes, she just passed. Would you like to see her?” My dad collapsed in my arms and I told the woman no. I never saw my mom dead. I had seen enough and didn’t want that to be the last image I remembered. So we went back to the car and drove to my parents home. 

   It was a very weird day. For some reason my 3 younger siblings decided to go visit her. That was not something they did very often. I know that it was very difficult for all of us to see her dwindling away like that. When they got to her room they saw the men wheeling her out in a body bag. That really freaked them out. So they ended up back at the house too. Then my oldest brother just happened to show up as well. He didn’t even know why he came there. I truly believe my mother was guiding us all to be together. Even the dog was crying. So we all decided to spend the rest of the day together drinking and talking about the good things we remembered about our mother. 

   But as the days went on I was going through many different emotions, like was it me that caused her to die because I yelled at God? The guilt was overwhelming. And then I felt angry that she let herself die. She literally willed herself to die. She was always a very lively and uplifting person, so when she ended up in a wheelchair that was the end in her mind. And then the sadness started. I knew she was dying but when it actually happened I was shocked and I realized that I would never see her again. There were so many feelings going through my mind that I thought I could just go crazy. I felt depressed and lonely. 

   Then came the funeral. The whole day was sort of a blur. I remember being at my parents home after the church service and people telling me how much they loved my mom. But I had no idea who they were. And if they loved her so much where were they these past many years? I was feeling very resentful toward everyone. I just went to my old bedroom to be alone until it was time to go home. My oldest brother and I rented a house together, and that night we were sitting in our living room talking about our mom, when out of the corner of our eyes we saw a white shadowy figure pass through the hallway. We both looked in that direction and then back at each other when he said, “Don’t say a word.” I just stayed quiet, but I knew in my heart that it was her. 

   At that point I don’t really remember if I had a very strong opinion of life after death. I just knew she was gone and I missed her already. The next day I was lying on my bed thinking about her when the weirdest feeling came over me. It was as if my body became very heavy and my spirit detached. I felt my spirit sit up and I felt a presence sit on the bed next to me. We hugged for what seemed like a couple of minutes, and I knew it was my mother. Then I felt my spirit lay back into my body. I sat up like a spring had pushed me, and I realized that tears were streaming down my face. I looked around my room hoping to see her but she had gone. That moment in time was so real, and to this day I can still remember the feeling of that hug. 

   After that day I never had as deep a feeling as that, but I did feel her around me. I even had dreams that she was asking me to give a message to someone. Like when my 2 year old niece died, she told me to let my brother know that she was taking care of her. I thought it was just a dream so I didn’t say anything to my brother. But a few nights later I had the dream again, and this time she was more insistent that I pass on the message. I knew then that she was really telling me to do this so I called my brother immediately upon awakening. I told him what she said and I’m sure he thought I was crazy, but it had to be done. 

   Over the years I have known many people that have transitioned to the other realm. And I have had many dreams of them communicating with me. I love the messages I get and the feelings that they are happy where they are. 

   Recently I have taken on the job of caregiver for my 94 year old friend. We have been friends for 40 years. I actually met her a couple of years after my mother transitioned. We really hit it off and she became sort of a substitute mom. In the last few years she became more dependent on me because she was scared to drive. So I helped her with her grocery shopping, nail and hair appointments, doctor visits and much more. We also spent her last few birthdays together. She would tell me what she wanted to do and we’d do it. But she wasn’t helpless by any means. She still lived alone and cooked her own meals, paid her own bills and did light house cleaning. I did the heavy cleaning. She’s always been a self-sufficient, independent woman. But 2 days after her 94th birthday she fell in her bathroom and bruised her ribs. This caused her to need help getting up and down, and using the restroom and getting food. I actually stayed at her house for a few days to help her out, but she was getting weaker. She finally got to a point when she had to go to the hospital. 

   When they checked her out they found that she had pneumonia and sepsis. They kept her in ICU for a few days and she got a little better. And after a few weeks they sent her to a rehab hospital. They tried to get her up and walking again but she is also a very stubborn woman and she refused to do anything they asked her to do. So eventually they said she had to go because there were other people needing the bed. 

   She has 4 grown children and they were all trying to figure out where they could put her. She couldn’t be home alone anymore. And her kids do not live close. So I stepped up and volunteered to move into her home with her and take care of her for as long as she was here on this earth. Besides if they did find a home for her nobody could visit her because of the pandemic. The siblings discussed it and agreed that it would be a good idea for me to move in. 

   So now it’s been 5 months, and I have learned a lot, working with the hospice nurses and the CNA’s that come to stay with her when I go to work. I see her dwindling away very slowly. She probably weighs about 80 pounds now. She now reminds me of how my mother looked at the end, a skeleton with skin. She’s in a lot of pain and she has rashes and sores that just won’t heal. Before her fall she was being treated for something called hormonal cancer, but they stopped treating her when she first went into the hospital. So I suppose the rashes and sores are the cancer eating away at her. No one seems to know what’s going on with her. Human beings are such a mystery. My mother willed herself to die and this woman is resisting death with all her might. For some reason she says she’s scared and she doesn’t want to die. But of course we are all going to die. I try to tell her that dying is not the end, it’s a new beginning. But she can’t wrap her head around that concept. I truly believe with all my heart that we are all energy. Energy cannot be created or destroyed. It just changes form. Our bodies are a temporary home for our eternal energy, and when we are finished with it we will return to the realm we came from in the first place. We will be pure energy once again, without pain or anger or hate or any other negative feelings. We will be happy and joyful and we will be with people we love once again. Not only that but we can still communicate with the ones we left behind. Life is too short to worry or fret. Life on earth is supposed to be fun. We are everlasting beings and death is not the end, it is a joyous new beginning. And although I am not ready to go now I am not dreading the day I do. I know it will be wonderful and my life here will have been meaningful to the ones I leave behind. 

   I hope this blog has made sense to anyone who reads it, and I hope it makes you feel good about life here and there. Live like there’s no tomorrow and find happiness wherever you can. And remember there is always tremendous love here for you.

                                                         Your Friend,

                                                             Deb Mertan

Finding the Source

   You know, I have written many, many blogs and they all point to one thing, and that is to find ways to keep yourself happy. You can’t depend on anyone or anything to be a continuous source of happiness. It’s up to each and every one of us to make our own happiness. I’m not saying that others can’t make you happy. I’m saying that it’s not their job to continually make you happy, or your job to continually make someone else happy. I’m saying that we are all on our own journey and we are not each other’s SOURCE. We all have our own Source, our own inner being, who has their own inner being and so on and so on. We have so much help from our Source that is ready and willing to be right here, right now, and we seem to forget that. But it’s time to remember and let them in to help guide us and have fun with us. To be there when we’re sad and to love us unconditionally. We are all spiritual beings having human experiences, and as Abraham-Hicks says, we’ll never get it wrong because we’ll never get it done. Life is an never-ending on going journey. 

   Okay, so you’re probably wondering how you can connect with your inner being. How do you know when you are connecting with it? You know because you’re happy. When you feel elated or joyful or satisfied in any way that is you connecting with you. The more you look for things that make you happy the more in sync you are with your inner being. When you are sad or mad or upset in any way you are blocking your connection, because your inner being never feels any negative emotions. But they will never put you down because you are having a bad day. They will always be there when you are ready to be happy again.

   I know how simple this sounds, but it’s true. You just need to try it for a week or two and see how clear minded you get when you keep yourself happy. Your inner being will say “Oh you like that, here’s some more.” They love to see us happy and are more than willing to point us in the direction of our happiness. And what makes this even more fun and more real is giving your inner being a name. I call mine Rupert. I don’t know why except that Seth from the Jane Roberts books always called Jane Rupert and I liked the name. Seth was like Abraham-Hicks, he spoke from the spiritual realm through Jane Roberts and claimed he knew her in another time as Rupert. I guess I just liked the name very much or maybe it is Jane Roberts/Rupert as my inner being. Either way it’s all good and I talk to Rupert all the time. The first thing in the morning I say to Rupert, “Let’s wait a few minutes before we get up so we can bask together about happy thoughts.” Then I get out of bed and continue to do my morning stuff before I head to work. It seems like things move along seamlessly. When I get in my car to go to work I say to Rupert things like, “Let’s look for things that are really funny today, or show me signs of giant hearts, or let’s look for stars today”, and I always do find those things. Oh I know those things aren’t earth shattering things, But they are fun. And it reminds me that my inner being is always with me. One time I wanted to challenge Rupert, so I said let’s look for a brand new Rolls Royce. I know it’s rare to even see a Rolls Royce driving around, especially in my neighborhood, but I wanted it to be a real challenge. Later that day my niece was looking through a magazine and she said,”Wow look at this new Rolls Royce coming out.” I looked at the picture and started laughing. It showed every part of that car, inside and out. My niece asked why I was laughing and I told her about the challenge. She understood because she knows how I think. So you see, you always have someone to talk to, someone to play with, and someone who loves you, you can’t stop it. You are a blend of spiritual and human and Life is supposed to be good. You can accept it or reject it, it’s all up to you. You are the master of your fate and the master of your soul. I heard that somewhere and it made sense to me so I say it often. In fact, I posted it on my bathroom mirror to remind myself, especially when I feel a little low. Yes I get sad sometimes, or even mad but then I remember to remember what I am and who I am, and those ugly feelings come less and less and stay shorter and shorter lengths of time. 

   I guess I’ve rattled on long enough. Rupert and I are going to go out and have some fun now. I hope you all find your Rupert and do the same. Until next time…

                   All my Love,

                           Deb Mertan

Perfectly Imperfect

Give yourself a break when things go wonky, it just might be a better path.

   Do you know someone who is always trying to be so perfect that they drive you nuts? Or maybe you are that person. If one little thing goes wrong they get so upset that they actually cry. It’s like the end of the world and once that train gets going there is no stopping it. Then they go to sleep that night and the next day they realize that it’s not the end of the world and they do whatever it takes to get back on track. Well I have been like that to some extent and I know people that are really like that a lot. But what I’ve come to realize is that there is no such thing as perfect. And if you let little mishaps blow up out of proportion you will live a very miserable life. That’s where the saying “Go with the flow” comes in. Or the saying “It is what it is”. Once something seems to go wrong you need to take a step back and see if it is something actually going right. Maybe that little mishap is the Universe saying “Hey try this, it might be better for what you are trying to accomplish”. Or maybe it’s trying to say don’t worry so much because whatever you do will be just fine. 

   For example: I like to crochet and sometimes after getting a good way into what I’m making I notice I missed a stitch. But I don’t freak out and rip the whole thing apart. I just chalk it up to being perfectly imperfect. That way I’m not feeling bad or mad at myself. 

   I heard a saying once from an old Native American Indian woman. I don’t remember it word for word but the gist of it was that nothing is perfect and when she’s making a blanket she purposefully missed a stitch to remind her that it’s okay to make mistakes.  I love that story. I know that I make mistakes, but I also know that I learn from them too. Without mistakes we would still be living in the dark ages. Thomas Edison made a thousand mistakes before he figured out the light bulb. He never gave up and he kept his eyes and ears open so that when a new idea came to him he would try it. 

   I know not everyone is a Thomas Edison or a Nikola Tesla, but we all have our own unique talents and we should not be afraid to share them with the world. And we should not beat up on ourselves when we don’t get it perfect the first time. We need to keep trying and show ourselves that it’s okay to be who we really are. And being perfectly imperfect is as perfect as you can get. 

   So now it’s time to let loose and let your juices flow. Let yourself be creative. Let the Universe show you the path of least resistance to wherever it is you want to be and life will be much more fun. Go with the flow and stop trying too hard. Give yourself a break when things go wonky, it just might be a better path. Keep your eyes and ears open for new opportunities and see how much easier things will go. 

   I hope this blog has been helpful. I know that being perfectly imperfect has helped me. Now go out there and show the world who you are and live the life you choose no matter what that may be. 

And remember there is tremendous love here for you.


                                       Deb Mertan

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

All I want for Christmas is my perfect man. I hope that this is not too much to ask for. I will describe him in detail but I don’t object to you adding your perceptions to “him” if you feel like I left anything out. So here goes… The man that is perfect in my mind is the man who loves me truly and completely just the way I am. He cares for others as well. He’s a wonderful lover and he loves sex the way I do. He makes me feel special all the time. He has the most delicious sense of humor too. He can make me weak in the knees with a wink of his eye. His voice is low, sexy and soothing. He spoons me in bed and makes me coffee in the morning. We enjoy each other’s company but we do our own things too. He is trustworthy, loving and kind. We are best friends as well as lovers. He’s perfect in an imperfect sort of way.

He enjoys letting me pamper him with foot and neck massage. I love touching him and he loves it too. He surprises me with silly little gifts like M&M’s and stuffed animals. But he also surprises me with exotic trips. We feed off each other and build each other’s confidence. Our love is so great that every fiber of both of our souls is humming in harmony. He’s beautiful inside and out. He fills my heart with joy every minute of every day. He never gives me cause for worry or sadness, nor would I give him cause. He’s honest, brave, smart and funny. He is a talented perfectionist in his own right. He also praises me for my talents but he’s not afraid to tell me when they aren’t good either. He’s confident in himself in a non-conceded sort of way. He loves himself and it shows in the way he takes care of his body and mind.

We are truly a match made in heaven. We have no need for jealously or anger. We can communicate on every level. We bring joy to other people around us even when they are complete strangers.

Money is not an issue for us because we have our own income. We share everything because there is no reason not to. We are both older and wiser, so games are not necessary. It’s so much easier to be honest. We both agree that life should be fun so we should spend it with the one we have the most fun with.

I know it seems like I’m asking for the impossible but I’m not. I know that a man like that exists because I am a woman like that. I know that each of us has a perfect match in this world; I just haven’t found him yet. That is why I am asking for your help this time. I’m sure you can find him for me because you know everyone. Thank you so much for hearing me out.


 Deb Mertan 

Inspiration vs. Motivation

Have you ever had a task to do but you really didn’t want to do it, at least not at the moment? Well I have, and I used to try to make myself do it no matter what. I was trying to motivate myself by feeling guilty or feeling I had to do it by a certain time, whatever it was. And then I would do it and I wouldn’t do a very good job because I didn’t line up with the energy that comes when I am inspired to do something. You see when you have to force yourself to do something it feels bad and not fun. But if you give yourself a break and let the idea or inspiration flow over you, you will do whatever it is willingly and joyfully. Does this make sense so far?

   I used to feel that everything always had to be perfect. Like there couldn’t be any dirty dishes in the sink or my bed should be made every morning. And yes these are things I still like to have done, but I don’t beat up on myself if they wait for a while or even all day. My new motto is, (It will still be there when I’m ready to do it), whatever it is.

   I’ll tell you what happens to me when I wait until I’m ready to do something, whether it’s making my bed or writing a blog. When the inspiration washes over me I get into a flow of energy that leads me from one thing to another, and I feel joyful doing all of it. I may start out by putting a load of laundry in the washer. Then I’ll think, “Oh, I’ll finish up the dishes.” Then I’ll sit down with a cup of coffee and think, “Oh, I have an idea for a blog”, so I’ll write a title at the top of the page in my notebook. Before you know it I will have written 2 or 3 pages. Sometimes I’ll read them back to myself and think, “Wow that is good.” When you let inspiration guide you things can really surprise and delight you.

   Now on the other hand sometimes I just feel like kicking back and watching T.V. Or I like to crochet while watching T.V. Maybe I won’t do anything the whole day, but that’s okay too. During these times I feel that my body and mind are re-charging. By doing things that don’t take a lot of concentration I let ideas and inspiration have a chance to gather energy so that when the next wave of action takes place it will be very fun and meaningful.

   Another thing you might notice when you let inspiration vs. motivation be your guide is that you will be more organized. And you will find more time to do the things you love to do. When you do things out of inspiration you do a much better and more efficient job, and everything seems easier. So what I’m trying to say is take more time for yourself. Let ideas come to you instead of chasing them. And when they do come you will have so much more fun in the doing.

   Here are some things to do to get inspired. Stop worrying, it’s a waste of time. Stop rushing to get anything done or to be anywhere on time. You will get there. Stop feeling guilty for doing the things you want to do even if it’s to stay in bed all day. And stop beating up on yourself for not being in the exact place you want to be in life. You’ll get there. Start being nicer to yourself even if it’s just getting a massage once in a while. Start treating everyone the way you want to be treated and see what a great response you’ll get. Start loving yourself more because life is supposed to be good and a happy person is a successful person. Look for ways to keep yourself happy and you will always have fun no matter what you are doing or whom you are doing it with.

   So now you know what to do, or not do. It’s all up to you. And remember there is great love for you here forever and always.


                                                                Deb Mertan

Give Up the Struggle

   Have you ever had a decision to make and it was a real struggle to figure out what to do? And then you finally made a choice and you felt way better, lighter and happier. That’s because during the decision making you had split energy. You kept weighing the pros and the cons, and until you finally decided one way was the best way you felt angst in your whole body. How do you stop this struggle you ask? Well first of all you stop weighing the pros and the cons. This is where the struggle starts. You need to only think about the pros. When you think about the positive options of each choice you give yourself time to see how each thing feels down deep in your soul, or your solar plexus, one thing at a time. Let each option wash over you to see how you really feel about it. You see you can’t make a wrong decision when you let your feelings be your guide. But you really have to relax and let each idea have a fair chance to let you know how you feel about it. You can’t decide anything when you’re all balled up inside.

   One thing that has helped me calm down and relax into a decision is meditation. When you meditate, you clear your mind and let the answers you seek come to you. It doesn’t need to take very long, maybe 15 minutes each day. And if you feel like your mind is wandering just concentrate on your breathing. Focus on the in and out of each breath and this will keep you from getting to far into other thoughts. When you come out of meditation you will feel relaxed, refreshed and ready for the day.

   Another way I like to stop any struggle in my mind is to make peace with what is. It is what it is and you have the choice to feel scared, worried, nervous or any other negative feeling, or to feel that everything is always working out for you, which is true. I know you have had situations come up that you had no idea how it would turn out, then something happened that made everything okay again. I know I have. I never let myself get upset anymore because I know that the right answer will come as long as I stay calm and let it work itself out. Some times when we try too hard to fix something we just make it worse.

   You could also distract yourself from the struggle by doing something that doesn’t take much thought. My favorite thing to do is crochet. I love to make couch blankets and send them to friends and family. I don’t let them know I sent it though. I like to surprise them. It makes them happy and it makes me happy to see them happy. My father is 85 years old and he has been doing needle point for many years now. He also gives them away to friends and family. It helps him stay calm and focused too. There are so many ways to stay calm, like putting puzzles together or writing stories or making quilts. There are so many ways to keep yourself calm and focused on what you want in life. So when you feel the struggle start growing inside of you, just remember to make peace with what is and find something to make yourself happy. Keeping yourself happy is the key to a good life. In fact I would go so far as to say that a happy person is a successful person. When you find ways to be happy you attract more happiness in your experience.

   So what I’m trying to say to all who want to stop the struggle is find your happiness and let go of the angst! Make peace with where you are and life will miraculously change for the better. Now go out there and show the world what a happy person looks like. You won’t be sorry.

 And remember that there is always great love here for you.


                                                    Deb Mertan