Love Equals Love

Tasha’s Spicy Stoner Mac-N-Cheese

Serves 8-10

Preheat Oven at 350 degrees

1 Box of Pasta ( your choice)
8 C. shredded Mozzarella Cheese
16 oz of Chunked Cheddar cheese
1 1/2 – 2 C. Heavy Whipping Cream
1 egg
1 Stick of butter
4 fresh Jalapeno (diced)
1 Package of Bacon ( add 4-6 TBSP. of Brown Sugar and a little crushed red pepper while frying)
1 Lg. Avocado
Salt N Pepper

Prep:

Boil Pasta until cooked
Fry bacon (after you cut in 2 inch rectangles)

Meanwhile:

Dice Jalapenos
Cut avocado

Put it together for baking

Spray Baking dish with non stick spray, then add cooked drained noodles.

Add the chunk cheddar and 4 C of Mozzarella and mix in noodles.

add Bacon with it’s grease and the jalapenos

In a medium bowl beat an egg with wire whisk or fork gthen; add heave whipping cream and continue beating.

Mix into noodle mixture.

Next top with remaining mozzarella

When done baking and cooled top with avocado.

Put in center of oven at 350 degrees for 30 mins.

One Life Does Not Fit All

Do you realize how many people are on this planet? Well let me tell you, there are a lot. And I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that not any two of them think exactly alike. Oh, there are clusters of people like church groups that try to get everyone to think and do everything the same way. But deep down we are all who we are. And that’s a good thing. Yes we might have similar beliefs but each person has his or her own perspective, and sees things the way they want to see them. Haven’t you and a friend read the same book or seen the same movie, and at the end you both had very different views on the outcome? It is because no one has had the same exact experiences in his or her life so they all see things from a different point of view. Example: When there is a car accident and there are a lot of people seeing it happen, but they are all looking on from different places, some are on the sidewalk on the east corner some are on the west corner some are in cars driving by, and some are looking out a store window, they all think they know exactly what happened. The police take statements from 10 different people and get 10 different stories. No two stories are exactly the same because they all had different points of view.

Another not so gruesome example is the board game Boggle. It has a little square box with little squares holes that dice with letters on all 6 sides fit into. It also has a cover to the box which allows the players to mix up the letters by shaking the box and letting the dice settle back into the holes. Then you remove the lid and turn the 2 minute sand timer over and you try to find as many words as you can and you write them on a piece of paper. The one with the most words wins. You would think that since all the letters are in plain sight for everyone to see everyone would write the same words. But because they are all in a different position they all have a different perspective. It is very interesting.

The way I came up with the title of this blog was from a bill board stating that one size does not fit all. But it made me think about life and how we are all so different. When I saw that sign it felt like it was just for me. I have never believed that one size could fit all or even most, or for that matter even some. But one thing that could fit all is living your happiest life ever. It got me thinking about how happy I am now that I am not trying to please anybody else but myself. And how I stopped expecting anyone else to be my source of happiness. I don’t worry anymore, I don’t get mad, I’m never late to anywhere I am going, I love me more and I love others more. I look for fun things to do even during work or other menial tasks like going to the DMV or the doctor’s office. I smile most of the time and I care about how I feel about anything and everything. If it makes me feel good to do or think something then I will continue to do so. But if it doesn’t I will do my best to think of something that does. You have choices, you can be mad or sick or stuck if you want to, or you can be happy or feel wellbeing or feel free flowing if you make different choices. Oh, it won’t be a quantum leap but instead it will come in small increments, until one day you will just wake up happy, and you’ll realize that by continually making the effort, little by little, you have changed a negative feeling into a good feeling and you are finally there. And from now on you will know this feeling and it will become addictive, but better than any drug that you could ever use. And when something happens that used to get you down, you will be able to see it from a different perspective and come to a better conclusion.

So one life does not fit all or most or even some. We are all individuals. Do you think that just anybody can be president? Oh wait. Apparently just anybody can be president. Let me put it this way, do you think just anybody wants to be president? NO, every single person wants what he or she wants. So the big question is, do they let their selves have whatever that is? If the answer is no then they must be trying to please someone else or a lot of someone else’s. Being true to one’s self is the most important and essential way to live, if you want to live a happy and authentic life. The more you be who you want to be the more authentic you are. I had a guy tell me once that I was very organic. I’m not sure if he was using the right word but I really liked the way it sounded. I really do look for the fun, or maybe I just expect it, so it happens. I just trust myself to know what I like and I know I am a worthy person and I have nothing to worry about because there is nothing serious going on here.

So what are you going to do now? Are you going to start allowing what you want to come or are you going to dwell on the fact that it hasn’t come yet? Believe me the universe knows what you want and knows how to b ring it to you. It’s up to you to trust and let it flow.

Life is supposed to be good. And if you feel stress or struggle or fear of any kind you are holding yourself away from the good that is always calling you forward. Start listening to your inner self and follow your bliss to become the happy person you are meant to be. Be off with you now and have fun!

Remember there is always tremendous love for you here.

Sincerely,

Deb Mertan

Who Are You?

It’s been my practice to learn as much as I can about myself. Because if you don’t know who you are how can you present yourself to the world accurately? I am a woman who has been through a lot in my life, as I’m sure most people could say the same thing. My mother left this planet when I was only 23 years old. I became the mother figure of my 4 younger siblings. I went through a bout of depression and then came out of it after attending counseling meetings with a very helpful woman. This was the point that I learned that I could say no, especially to my father, who wanted me to take care of his kids so that he could go out with women. This is also when I decided that it was up to me to become the kind of person I could love and respect. Now I’m not saying that all my troubles and woes stopped and never came back, but that I learned how to control my reactions to unpleasant events that would appear in my life from time to time. At that time in my life I had never heard the phrase (Law of attraction), and I don’t think anyone else really had either. But I did know that what I put out into the world came back to me and that was worth investigating. I started making better choices and if those choices turned out to be not so good I would just make different ones. I realized that life was not linear. It doesn’t move along on a conveyor belt. It has twists and turns and lots of contrast. And that is a good thing. How boring would it be if things just moved along in a straight line? I’ll tell you, it would be very dull. There would be no learning, no excitement. How could we know what we want if we don’t know what we don’t want? Just like there is no light without dark. We need the contrast, but we also need to see it for what it is, a learning experience.

After that period in my life I was going along following my bliss until my live-in boyfriend decided to get into cocaine. Here it was again, contrast. I knew this was not the life I wanted to live so I had to make a very hard decision and I left him after a 7 year relationship. I thought we would be together forever, but I couldn’t control what he was doing, nor would I want a man I could control. It was sad but I knew I was doing the right thing. Then a couple of years later I met the man that I ended up marrying and we had two wonderful children. But again, after 10 years of marriage I started feeling very dis-satisfied with this man. But because I made a promise in my wedding vows, for better or worse, richer or poorer, you know those stupid vows, I stayed another 10 years. I really thought I was doing the right and honorable thing until I got to the point that I would sob all the way home in my car every day after work. I knew I had to leave so I started packing little by little, not really knowing where I was going, until one day a friend called and invited me and my kids to live with her and her family. I jumped at the chance even though we would be living in a 3 bedroom, 1 bathroom house with 9 people. Believe it or not I was as happy as a clam. As I was moving forward with my divorce my husband actually passed away. Now it’s been a few years since all that happened, and I am a widow with two grown children and I am doing all the things I have always wanted to do. I am an amateur comedian, I am an author and I even started a cooking show on this web site. I’ve been traveling more and saying yes more when people invite me to go places with them. I am keeping myself as happy as I can every day and it is worth it. And because I am still single, (by choice), I can date whomever I wish. I even bought my own house. So you see all that contrast that appeared in my life just kept pushing me to become the person I really wanted to be. But it’s not over yet. Oh, I love my life right now but I know that I will continue to evolve and become more. I love me and I see myself as a worthy spiritual being, having an awesome human experience.

I truly believe that everyone is creating their own life, whether they know it or not. Even a homeless person is making his or her own choices. You’re probably thinking that it sounds kind of funny that someone would choose to be homeless. But think about it, who really has control over anyone else? The thing is that the person has to realize that he or she has the right to be, do or have everything they want in this life, except for the fact that they are being sloppy thinkers. What I mean by that is that they are not paying attention to what they are focusing on. Do you know that Steve Harvey and Tyler Perry were both once homeless? Look it up, it’s true. But look at them now, they are successful beyond belief. But the tricky part is that they did believe. And once they got past the believing part the knowing part kicked in to bring them to where they are now. Speaking of now, that is what we should all be focusing on. The past is over, done, finite. There is no going back. And even if you could go back you’d probably do the same things over again. And the future is whatever you want it to be as long as you pay attention to what you are thinking about. NOW is where it’s at. NOW is so delicious with all the fabulous ideas and dreams swirling around in your head. You now have the chance to see things the way you want them to be. You can create and mold your life to exactly the life you and only you desire. Oh it may not come in the exact way you think it might, so that is where paying attention comes in. For example: I was listening to a pod cast one day while driving my car and I heard about a woman that kept $20 bills handy to hand out to homeless people. I thought to myself, I can’t wait until I can hand out $20 and it not faze me. It was a fleeting thought so I went about my day not giving it any more thought. I took a friend to lunch and when the bill came I pulled 3 bills out of my wallet thinking I was leaving a $9 tip, which I thought was pretty nice. So when we left the restaurant and went to the grocery store I realized that I didn’t leave the server a $9 tip, it was a $19 tip. I started laughing and my friend said, what’s so funny. I told her and she started laughing too. And you know what, it didn’t faze me one bit. But you see I could have missed that little tid-bit because I was thinking I was only going to give it to homeless people. But instead I gave it to a cute little waitress that probably really appreciated it just as much as a homeless person would.

Over the years I have re-invented myself many times and I have to say I really love who I am. I actually know who I am and I will continue to become more of me for many years to come. So I ask you again, “Who are you? Do you know? Who do you want to be? Are you there yet?” It really doesn’t matter where you are because you can start to be that new person NOW! You can be, do or have anything and everything you desire but it’s all up to you. Life is supposed to be good and you can’t get it wrong and you’ll never get it done. You’ll just keep making new choices and finding what feels good to you. You are the only one that can become the person you want to be. The person that you can feel good about and the person that makes you happy. And I promise you that when you live your life your way everything else will flow with ease. There will be no struggle, life will flow like a leaf on the river. Just bobbing and swaying with the current. Twisting and turning and bringing you everything you ask for in odd and funny ways. But you have to pay attention. When something good comes to you think back and see if that is something that you have asked for even if it was a long time ago. Or if something not so good occurs think about what you have been focusing on and understand that you brought that too. You get what you think about. Some things come quickly and others take a while, but it all comes in accordance with what you give your attention to.

So now you know that you can be whomever you choose to be. It’s all up to you. And don’t worry about hurting anyone’s feeling by being yourself. They will either love you more or move on, but either way it’s okay as long as you are true to you. So now’s the time to get to know who you really are. And I know you can do it. So get out there and be the person you always wanted to be.

And remember there is always great love here for you.

Best Wishes,

Deb Mertan

You Are a Powerful Magnet

Since I have been paying attention to how I feel, it’s as if I am glowing. Like sun beams are shooting out of the top of my head. I feel wonderful as I keep myself happy. Now this may seem a little conceded or narcissistic or self-centered or selfish and it is in a way. But if you really think about it you are only in control of one thing and that is how you feel. And once you start keeping yourself happy you will see how everything you desire will flow into your world. There really is a law of attraction and you are the powerful magnet that draws everything into your existence. But beware because it works both ways, good stuff and bad stuff. That’s why it is important to keep yourself as happy as you can as often as you can. Like attracts like. It even says so in the bible. So whatever you give your attention to is what you will get. When I say you are a powerful magnet, I really mean it.

Haven’t you ever thought of someone and then the phone rang and it was them? You tell them “I was just thinking about you.” But they never believe you. You probably chalk it up to coincidence, but what is actually going on is an energy connection. Maybe they were thinking about you first and just as they started dialing the phone you picked up on their vibe. But either way you made a connection, almost like magic.

Have you ever studied or at least heard of astronomy? It’s all about the magnetic pull between the sun and the moon and the planets in our solar system. Without this pull there would be no gravity and we would all just float away into the universe. But there is no need to worry about that because the system has been around for millions of years and it works perfectly. Even the supernova, which is a star exploding in space, is not the end of something, but the beginning of new worlds and solar systems. It’s like a seed that you plant in the ground, it opens up and becomes a beautiful flower, which will eventually die and go back into the earth and become a fertilizer to the new flowers, and so it goes, life expands. Just like the great minds of men and women from the past left their ideas and inventions to the next generations to expand upon. And the next and the next until we have people like Elon Musk, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs emerge to create all sorts of amazing things. Of course there are many more people I could name but you get the idea. Life just keeps attracting more and more good stuff and we all benefit from it.

People, I don’t think you get what a powerful magnet you are. All it takes are new beliefs and lots of practice once you find the beliefs that are right for you. This is not a one day thing, it is a lifestyle change. But like anything else it is an evolving process and practice is an everyday exercise. But once you get how this universe really works you will see that you actually can do, be or have anything your heart desires. I mean it! I know there have been times when you have casually talked about something you wanted and all of a sudden there it was, like magic. That is because you had no resistance about that thing. You actually let it come by not doubting it. You may not have known that is what happened, but whether it was a good thing or a bad thing you brought it. I remember when I was in my early twenties, I was out and about in my little sports car, and several times that day I had near misses with other cars. After about the third time I yelled out, “I’m destine to get into an accident today.” I said it with great authority too. About a half hour later I totaled my car. I knew that it was because of what was said. But at that period in time I had never heard the phrase, (Law of Attraction), and no one else had either. But I had heard the phrase, (Be careful what you wish for, because it might come true.) From that day on I chose my words and thoughts much more carefully. And these days I do know about the law so I am choosing words and thoughts that bring me joy and make me happy. When you start molding your life on purpose it will be slow at first, but once you get the hang of it you’ll be able to go as fast as you want to. And if you get a little overwhelmed you can slow down a bit, but you’ll get your bearings back and get up to speed with yourself easier and easier. Once you get this you can never go back. You’ll know too much. Life is supposed to be good, fun, joyful and happy.

So, how do I change my beliefs, you ask? Well it’s easier than you think. You need to pay attention to your feelings. When you think about something stop and ask yourself, how does this make me feel? If it feels good then give it more thought. If it doesn’t feel good then stop and ask yourself what would be something more pleasant to think about?

How will I know I’m doing it right, you ask? You will know that you are deliberating bringing what you think about into your life by the things that are manifesting around you, whether it’s good or bad. Think about what you have been concentrating on and see what has been appearing in your life. Practice is always the key to any door. You have to give yourself time to get used to your new ideas, thoughts and beliefs. Yes you may dip back into old habits or beliefs, but you will catch yourself much faster and realize what is happening so that you can get back on track more easily.

As humans we have forgotten that life is supposed to be good, because we have people that have come before us who have had beliefs that they just keep passing on to us as early as our first day on earth. Right away they start telling us about all the troubles and woes of the past, warning us not to do this or that because something bad might happen. So we start developing these beliefs and we pass them along to our children. It has been the way of the world for centuries. But these days’ people are starting to realize that they can change those old habits and beliefs that don’t serve them anymore, and find new ones that do. It really is that easy. But you have to be brave and not be concerned about how others will perceive you. You have to not give a darn about how anyone else feels because they are not you. They have not lived your life. They can’t think for you, and you can’t do any of those things for them. You also have to be willing to not worry about how anyone else lives their life. Seriously if we all just paid attention to our own feelings and lived our happiest life we would all mesh together into a delicious soup of love and joy. Wouldn’t that be a wonderful thing to live and let live? That would be a great relief to a lot of people that have been trying to live up to someone else’s standards, with no success by the way, you cannot live to please others and live your truest life. You must please yourself first and then you will be of much more value and service to others. If you are not happy you can’t please others anyway.

People young and old have the right to be joyful. If you were to sit on a park bench and watch the little ones play together you would get a sense of what I am saying. It doesn’t matter what color or religion or race any of the other little kids are, they are just there to have a good time. It isn’t until some big person starts filling their heads with what they think is right or appropriate that they start hating and worrying about what other people think. The children know that there is nothing serious going on here. They just want to have fun.

If you could just think like a child for a little while you would feel the relief from stress, worry, angst, anger and all the feelings that restrict you from your natural God given right to be happy. You would feel liberated from the have to’s and shoulds, and you would find more time for the want to’s. I know you’re probably thinking that it’s too hard to change a life time of old habits and beliefs, but it’s not. It only takes desire and I know you can do that. We all have desires and if you pay attention to what they are you will see them manifest in your life. You are a powerful magnet and you do deserve to have whatever you want. Be playful and loving and see what comes back to you. You will be amazed at how wonderful life will be when you open yourself up to your true happiness. Life is supposed to be good so stop fretting and figure out what you want and then let yourself have it.

Remember there is always great love for you here.

Best Wishes,

Deb Mertan

My guidebook “Choose a Powerfully

Ortega Jack Chicken

Serves: 2 to 4 people

What You’ll Need: Chicken cutlets because they are thin or you can pound out
chicken breast, but that is messy.

1 can of whole green chilies
1 small block of jack cheese
¼ to ½ cup of melted butter
Baking dish

Instructions: Pre-heat oven to 350°.

Lay the cutlets out flat in the baking dish. Put on slice of chili on top of chicken (they are both shaped triangular so put them together like that). Cut a 1 inch chunk from the cheese block and place it in the center of the chili. Fold chicken and place folded side down. Melt butter and pour over chicken.

Place in oven for 30-35 minutes.

Make a salad or 1 cup of a cooked vegetable. You can eat this meal the next day in an omelet as well.

Meat Loaf Italiano with a Twist

Serves: 2 to 8 people; This is a dish that can be made many different ways. It’s a great way to use up left over’s too.

What You’ll Need: 2 pounds of ground turkey or beef if you prefer.

Onion

Mushrooms (fresh or canned)

Bell pepper/red is good too

Crushed crackers or bread crumbs

Garlic salt (or fresh chopped garlic)

1 large can of spaghetti sauce

Pepper, Italian seasoning, Parmesan cheese

2 loaf pans

(Opt.) 10 hard boiled eggs peeled

Instructions: Pre-heat oven to 350°. In large bowl, add meat, veggies

(chopped). Sprinkle crackers or bread crumbs over the top

of the mixture. Then sprinkle garlic salt, pepper, and Italian

seasoning over the whole top of mixture. Add ½ can of spaghetti sauce and mix well. Put a ½ layer of met in each pan.

Push eggs into meat and add the remaining mixture over eggs.

Insert eggs by pushing down around edges of meat to make a mound. Cover meat with remaining spaghetti sauce. Bake for 45 minutes then cover top of meat with parmesan cheese kind of thick. Place back in oven for another 15 minutes. Cheese should look toasty. Serve with salad with Italian dressing, no bread. Also

good for lunches.

Cheese Stuffed Meatballs with Spaghetti Squash

Cheese Stuffed Meatballs with Spaghetti Squash

Recipe below:

Serves: 2 to 4 people; or have leftovers always good the next day, you can make omelets with them.

What You’ll Need: 2 pounds of ground turkey or beef if you prefer.

But drain oil real well if you use beef. This is a dish that you can use different things in like chopped onion and/or chopped bell pepper, red bell pepper, etc. It is also a dish that cooks better (optional) with some kind of cracker crunched into it, Saltines preferred or bread crumbs.

Shredded mozzarella cheese/ 6 to 8 string cheese sticks

Garlic salt

Italian seasoning

2 cans spaghetti sauce

Pepper

Parmesan cheese

2 tablespoons of olive oil

1 large frying pan

1 Spaghetti Squash

1 Baking pan

First: Before you start on the meatballs, You will want to poke wholes in
your spaghetti squash then cook in the oven at 350 degrees for 55 to
65 minutes.

Meat Balls: Mix all ingredients except for seasoning and crackers, or whatever you decide to use. Crunch cracker or spread crumbs over the mixture until coated. Do the same with the seasoning and parmesan cheese. Mix real well. Cut cheese sticks so that the pieces are like little balls. Pre- heat oil in a frying pan then; Make a small ball of meat in the palm of your hand and put the cheese ball in the middle and wrap the meat around cheese.
When ready, carefully place meat balls in heated frying pan. Use a teaspoon to roll them around until they are cooked on all sides.

Spaghetti Sauce: Fill the large sauce pan with spaghetti sauce and cook on low. Make sure you cover it. When all sides of the meatballs look ready, place them in the sauce. Simmer for about ½ hour to 45 minutes.

Side salad: While you are waiting you can prepare a salad.

Spaghetti Squash: At about 50 minutes, test if your spaghetti squash is done by poking with a knife or fork to see if it is soft inside, if not then bake another 10 minutes then test again. When ready, remove Softened spaghetti squash from the oven with oven mitts ( its is very hot). Slice in half, then remove seeds ( like in a pumpkin) then: use a fork to shred insides of squash to produce your spaghetti squash. Then add some spaghetti sauce to keep it from sticking.

Ready to Serve: In a pasta bowl add a serving of spaghetti squash with sauce and meat balls over it. Add some shredded mozzarella cheese if you like, or add some more parmesan cheese. Serve with salad with Italian dressing.

Your friend always,

Love Deb

Life’s a Game, Aim to Win

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I’m pretty sure that if you are on this planet you have seen, or at least heard of the movie, “Mary Poppins”. One of my most favorite scenes in that movie is when Mary takes the children into the nursery and shows them how to have fun while cleaning it up. Of course in the movie all they have to do is snap their fingers and all the toys, clothes and beds covers go back to their proper places and then it’s off to the park for an afternoon of chalk painting adventures. Really if you haven’t seen “Mary Poppins” you should. It is truly a fantastic movie. Yes this is all fantasy but behind all the seemingly magic things that Mary Poppins can do there is a very important message. Life is supposed to be fun. And when you really look for it you will find it.

When I say life is a game, aim to win, I don’t mean like a race or a competition, I mean you will win every time if you let yourself have fun and stop taking life so seriously. You know being too serious could cause stress which in turn could cause illness or disease, or even a shortening of one’s life. And as far as I can tell stress is a useless emotion, except for the fact that it is a warning sign that fun is nowhere in sight. It doesn’t really accomplish anything. It actually makes things worse. But there are ways to relieve stress and one way is to try to find the fun in everything you do. When you practice this you will see how useless stress is and you will never want to entertain that emotion again. Yes it takes practice, but so does everything, even being stressed all the time is a practice. You just need to be more conscious of where your emotions or thoughts are taking you. You need to take the reigns and guide yourself into the emotions that feel good to you. Be totally awake and aware of where you are headed. It’s like you wouldn’t get in your car and put on a blind fold and then start the engine, put it in drive and then gun it so that you take off like a rocket. That would be ludicrous. But when you are not paying attention to your feelings and emotions that is exactly what you are doing. You would be banging into trees and other cars on the road and maybe even veering off into a ditch, and then blaming it on someone or something else. But once you take the blind fold off you can go as fast as you want to because you can maneuver around the trees and cars and avoid the ditches. Yes it is that easy to take control of your own life. Just take the blinders off and pay attention to how you feel about everything.

Now that I have figured this out my life has become so enjoyable that nothing seems to bother me anymore. I look at every so called problem with new eyes, so to speak. I start thinking about solutions immediately instead of dwelling on the situation. I love more, care more and laugh more. And when someone tells me, “Have fun tonight”, as I’m going out the door, I say, “I always do”. It’s true, I always have a good time because the only expectation I have is to have fun.

So now that I have been paying attention to my emotions on a full time basis I can see that all I have to do is be mindful of how I feel. And yes to me it is a game and I do aim to win. I aim to win by always having a smile on my face, and seeing the joy in people’s eyes when we meet and getting my face licked by my friends dogs, especially the ones that don’t usually care for other people. This is proof to me that by being happy and playful the dogs can feel it too, it’s feedback to let me know that I am on a good path. It really makes me feel special. I know that it might seem silly to you but I have never really been into dogs and cats as far as having one for a pet. But after keeping myself in this high flying vibration, animals have really started to gravitate to me and me to them. Even the owners are baffled by their animal’s behavior toward me, but I know why it is so. That’s part of the game too. I don’t need to explain to anyone why their animals love me, it’s our little secret, and I love it. But if someone were to ask me why I am so happy all the time I would tell them this, “I am happy because I choose to be”, I make the choice every day to look for the fun in life. I look for the beauty in the trees and the flowers and in the faces of little children that still seem to know that life is supposed to be fun.” You know it wouldn’t be a bad idea if you were to think more like a child. Remember how fun it used to be to swing on a swing set or the monkey bars at the park or to play hide and seek with your friends, and not feel stressed out about anything, because you always knew you were safe? Maybe some people didn’t feel that way but that too is the beauty of making the decision to be happy now. You see you and only you have the right to feel whatever you choose to feel. You are the boss of you and you are worthy beings. So if you are ready to start living the life you deserve then why not start having fun now? You can make anything a game. Even driving in traffic can be fun if you find a way of enjoying yourself. No one else even has to know you are playing a game. I like to count all the “Swift” trucks I can find on the road. And try saying swift without smiling. Or I like to try and see how many words I can make out of the letters on the license plates on the other cars around me. Like Mary Poppins says, when you find the element of fun the chore is a snap, or something like that, you get the gist. Or when you are cleaning your house and you always do the same routine, switch it up and see if you get finished faster by starting in a different place then you usually do. Be creative and get those juices flowing. When you have your mind on looking for the fun you won’t have time to be worried or stressed out about anything, at least for the time you are playing.

Life IS supposed to be fun and we have all taken it too seriously. Just think of all we’ve missed out on while trying to be so serious and adult like. But don’t think too long on that, just realize that it’s never too late to change the game. Why not just stay a kid in a grown up body?

I’m not saying to ignore responsibility, I’m saying be responsible and have fun doing it. Sing while you’re doing the dishes and dance while you’re mopping the floor. Have you ever seen the movie, “Honey I Shrunk the Kids”? The daughter is dancing as she’s mopping the kitchen floor and the neighbor boy is watching her through the window. He doesn’t see her as dumb or stupid, he is enjoying the view. That is how people will see you once you start having fun. And even if there is someone who scoffs at you for being excessively happy, it’s only because they themselves are extremely unhappy and can’t understand what you are doing. I would just ignore them because they will either get on board with you or go away from you, so there is no need to worry. You are you, a unique individual, and you are the only person you need to take care of. And once you get that life will be so delicious that no one else will be able to buck your current of joy.

Now you know what’s what. And you can start finding ways of playing games that you not only win, but that give you a way to share your joy with others. And you will be teaching through your examples that life is good and you can have it all. No matter where you are starting from emotionally you can always find a way to feel a little better and then a little more and before you know it you’re almost always happy. And on the rare occasions that you find yourself dipping down you will know what to do about it. Sometimes it’s just best to crash and burn and let the feeling pass through you. Then as you go to bed remind yourself that tomorrow is another day and you can press the reset button upon awaking the next morning. Lay there for a few minutes and think about what fun you will have that day. Pre-set your mood for the day so that if there is anything negative out there you won’t even notice it. Or if you do happen to notice it, it won’t bother you like it once did. You may even become the solution person because you are so in tune with life that you instinctively know how to handle just about anything with grace and ease. Maybe the next time you see your kids, or your friend’s kids if you don’t have any, playing in the yard you should join them, and bring back some of the memories of playful freedom. I love taking my 3 year old great niece to the store because while we’re shopping she wants to skip down the aisles. So we hold hands and skip and sing. People always smile at us so I know they feel the joy we are feeling, at least in that moment.

Okay so now you know that having fun and playing games are very important for your well-being, don’t you? So what’s stopping you? Go out there and look for every fun thing there is to do. And believe me when you purposely look for it you will find it. And you are going to be amazed at how wonderful you feel all day every day when fun is your main goal. And do you want to know a secret about having fun? It will bring you new ideas and inspirations to be do or have anything you want in life. When you take care of you and stop worrying about ANYONE else, as far as opinions go, you will be floating on air, living La Vida Loca, which is Spanish for the crazy life. People are going to want to know your secret and you can say, life is a game and I aim to win. Then smile and skip away.

Remember there is always great love here for you.

Your friend,

Deb Mertan

Think Big, Then HUGE, THEN ENORMOUS

When I First started paying attention to how everything made me feel, I realized that I had all the control of my emotions, and if I didn’t like the way I was feeling I could just change it like a radio dial. It does take practice but it is well worth the effort. When I say effort I don’t mean it’s a chore or a job, but it is something that you must examine. I like to think of it as keeping up with myself as far as what I am wanting and what I am allowing myself to have. You see it all starts with you. When you figure out what you want and then you allow yourself to ponder it, to dream of it, to really feel what it would be like to have it, and then start to expect it, it has to come. The time it takes to get to you is really all up to you. How fast can you get yourself to that place in your mind, in your gut, to finally realize whatever it is you are wanting? The secret is to keep doubt, fear and fretting out of the equation because none of these emotions help anything. But if you get caught up in one or more of those yucky emotions, sometimes it’s just best to let them run their course, crash and burn so to speak. Maybe go to sleep, or take a walk, or pet your cat. You see by taking your thoughts to a more neutral place you release resistance, which is what all those yucky feelings are, and get yourself back to a place of expecting once again. The more you practice, the better you will get at it ;until, the day that you know that all is right with your world and that is all that matters.

You know that dreaming of what you want is the beginning of everything on this planet. Not even a brick was made without someone dreaming it into existence. Now that might seem like a small dream, but as you can see that this small dream created an opening for a huge dream, like a building of some sort, maybe a castle, and eventually it became an enormous dream like the great wall of china, which took 20 years to build by the way. You see how that works. If you really think about it that’s how thoughts work. You don’t have to know how or when or who’s going to bring it. You just have to be clear about what you want and let yourself imagine it, feel good about it, get excited about it and dream it into existence. The reason I called this blog, “Think Big, Then Huge, Then Enormous, is because it is easier to start with small things until you get the hang of the process and you start to notice things coming to you just by focusing on the positive aspects of what you want, why you want it and how fun it will be when it gets here. Inevitably, you will start to dream bigger and when you really get the hang of it you will realize that there is nothing too big to attain.

I don’t know if anyone has ever told you that it doesn’t matter if you have a college education or if you only went to the 6^th grade, you can still dream anything you want into existence. Do you know that Albert Einstein only went to the 6^th grade and he is one of the smartest people to have lived on this planet? Granted there are people that really thrive in school and they just keep getting degree after degree but sometimes they don’t accomplish much else. Haven’t you known someone who went to college and after graduating they couldn’t get a job, and they ended up working at a 7/11 store for minimum wage? So you see that it is all up to each individual to do what feels right to them. It’s time to release all those old beliefs that certainly don’t serve you and start new beliefs that make you feel good. You know that there is no shortage of goods in the world. You can have, be or do anything you wish without taking anything away from anyone else. Beliefs are just thoughts you keep thinking until they become your reality. We all live in our own little world and no one has the ability to push thoughts or beliefs into your world unless you let them. That’s what weak minded people do but it doesn’t have to be that way. Once you understand this concept and you become brave enough to control your own world, you will become so happy and so in love with life, that it won’t matter how long it takes to be, do, or have anything you want, because the only reason anyone wants anything is because they think it will make them happy. Happiness is the path to everything you want whether it’s a mate or a business venture or a castle, it’s all up to you and only you. And not everyone wants the same things. Some people are perfectly content with a simple life and some want it all. And of course there are all sorts of people in-between.

Another thing that I would like to mention is that it is never too late to start living the life you really want, or too early for that matter. Do you know that there have been kids that wrote books or started businesses or even invented something that changed the world for the better? And there are people well into their twilight years still discovering new things to surprise and delight them. The only thing that stops anyone from doing anything is a belief. Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t—you’re right.” Remember that song by the Rolling Stones that says, “Hey you get off of my cloud, don’t hang around because twos a crowd.” To me that means, “It’s none of anyone’s business what brings my bliss, so leave me alone.” Joseph Campbell is another person that gave good advice, he said, “Follow your bliss.” Wow, what a concept! I love following my bliss. I love being happy and not letting anyone or anything bring me down. Like Billy Joel says, “Keep it to yourself, this is my life, leave me alone.”

So you see that there are signs all around us just waiting for us to catch the drift and remember why we are here in the first place. It’s not to be perfect, because there is no such thing as perfect. And it’s not to fix anything, because there is nothing broken. It’s to live happily ever after. Really, I mean it. It’s time to start listening to your inner voice and following the prompts that will lead you to the bliss you truly want and more importantly deserve. Actually your inner voice is more like blocks of thought or inspirational feelings that come to you. Haven’t you ever found yourself going down a path you weren’t planning to go only to find something you had been looking for but weren’t sure how to find. Your inner being knew where to find it and because you let yourself follow the prompt you discovered it. This inspiration comes from our inner knowing but if you’re not paying attention you may miss the clues. Think of it as a treasure hunt and every twist and turn is another clue to follow. It gets easier and easier when you pay attention. I’ll give you an example of something I was wanting and how fast it came to me. I was listening to a podcast of a person that said that they kept $20 bills handy to pass out to homeless people. I thought to myself, I can’t wait until I can give out $20 bills and it not phase me. Later that day I took a friend to lunch and when I paid the bill I thought I was leaving the server a nine dollar tip, which I thought was good, but later I realized that I had left a nineteen dollar tip. I started laughing and told my friend the story of what had happened. I said, “See how fast the universe delivers.” Honestly it didn’t faze me to hand out a tip like that. It actually made me happy to know that things could happen that fast. I know you’ve heard the saying, “Be careful what you wish for because it might come true.” Well it should say, “It will come true.” But if I had not been paying attention I could have missed that little nugget. There have been many more incidences like that in my life. You just need to be easy about what you want and let it come to you, and notice it when it does.

So now you know what’s what and if you are wise, and I think you are, you will start paying attention to what you are thinking about and make good choices of what to ponder. Life is good when you believe it is so figure out what you want and let yourself have it. And remember there is great love here for you.

Love,

Deb Mertan

Looking Through Rose Colored Glasses

I know most people think that they need to look at what is and react to it whether it is something wanted or something unwanted. But the truth is that we all have a choice to react in any manner we desire. We honestly do create our own reality. And there are always two sides of everything, meaning that you can look at any situation as the cup is half empty or as the cup is half full. It is all a sense of perception. The empty signifies the negative side and the full signifies the positive side. So when you are looking at the full side you are focusing on the positive side and that is easy because you feel joy, but what do you do when you witness something unwanted? My suggestion is that you look away and find something, anything, more joyful to focus on. The more you practice this, the more you will attract more positive things, people and situations to come into your experience. This is what I like to think of as looking through rose colored glasses. I like to think about what I do want and not give much attention to unwanted things except to notice that they are unwanted. I then immediately shift my thinking to more pleasant thoughts even if it is something non-related to what I don’t want. Eventually when I have myself in a good frame of mind I can think of the wanted in a more prosperous way.

For a while now that is exactly what I have been doing and to tell you the truth I have never been happier. I can see now why people experience whatever it is they are focused on. After 9/11 I found myself watching the news intently and I was becoming more and more scared to live in my own country. I was sinking into a deep depression and I knew I had to do something drastic before I became totally paralyzed by my fear.

The first thing I did was to stop watching the news. I couldn’t take it anymore. They just kept talking about it in an endless loop and it got to be mind boggling. So as the days went on I found that by focusing on more pleasant things, like my children, I could feel joy enter my life once again. I truly believe that by this one act of looking away from unwanted truths I started finding my authentic self. And once I started down this path things started changing rapidly for me. And because I was being more selfish and caring more about how I was feeling about everything, things got a little hectic for a minute. I ended up leaving my husband just as the recession got started. Money got very tight and I could hardly pay rent. But I’ll tell you I was much happier than I had been in a long time. And I had faith that things would get better because life goes in cycles and this was just a dip in this time interval.

A short while later my husband passed on to the next phase of life and I became a widow. This made it so that I could collect his social security and his pension. This helped for quite a while but the recession was still on going and I guess I was still buying into the idea that we should all be suffering. It took me a while but as I was sinking into the abyss I remembered that this was not who I am. I am not a (woe is me) kind of person. That’s when I started looking for any way I could to raise my spirits. Instantly things started improving. Money started flowing more freely, my home situation improved, and my whole demeanor transformed for the better. I started reading everything I could find that would help me understand that I am truly the creator of my own reality, and I have the choice to see things, the way I want to, through rose colored glasses.

It has been a few years now and I am still on my beautiful path. So many wonderful things have happened and I know there is so much more to come. I have learned to see things in a much more loving way and I feel good 99.9% of the time. Keeping one’s self happy is a full time job and I for one am willing to make that sacrifice. I know what it feels like to be depressed and don’t wish that feeling on anybody. It is very true that it all starts on the inside. And once you get the hang of happiness you can’t go back. It just feels wrong.

My son is in his twenties now and he has a very good job, government related, and he wants so much for me to hate the government the way he does. But what he doesn’t understand is that by focusing on what he hates he is just perpetuating the unwanted and making himself miserable in the meantime. He asked me, “Why won’t you hate the government with me mom?” I told him it is because I want to be happy. I feel that it is easy for people to look at situations they don’t agree with and try to push them away, but all that does is make it bigger and more uncomfortable for the one pushing. We can’t control what other’s do but we can control how we react to it. What I mean is in order to feel better about a situation you need to look at the positive side of it, or the bright side so to speak. You know there are plenty of things the government does with our tax money that is really good. They build parks and highways for us to travel on. They also provide medi-cal for people that need medical attention and can’t afford it. And don’t forget food stamps for families in need of assistance. There are many more things like that for us to focus on, so you get the picture. I’m sure there are things that you could think of that you appreciate about the government.

In order to see things through rose colored glasses you must see things from the bright side. Sooth your anger, fear and hate by focusing on something pleasing to you and then look for positive aspects of what you are wanting, then watch and see how much happier you are and how your world is morphing right before your very eyes, just the way you want it to.

One thing we must always remember is that we can only control our own emotions. We cannot think, act or feel for another. Nor can any other think, act or do for us. We must all find our own way to happiness, and we must find a way of staying there as often as possible. Then and only then will we truly be the beings we are meant to be. Whoa! Did that hit you like it just hit me? I hope so because I really felt a jolt. So in essence what I got from this is that by staying happy I have the power to do, be or have anything I want to. And no one or anything can project any negativity on me that I do not desire. Keeping myself focused on what I do want, and staying happy on my journey to whatever that is, is all my work really is. I’m going to milk this feeling for a while. It is the most clear I have been in a long time. Not that I haven’t been picking up nuggets of clarity all along the way. But once in a while you get a glimpse of something that just sums up all the answers to questions that have been looming in the background, and BAM!, YOU KNOW! You just know. Right now, what I know is, that life is good and I’m doing great, and wellbeing is abundant, and it just keeps getting better as I focus and stay happy, no matter what anyone else is doing. I choose me! And I hope for all your sakes you choose YOU! Live the life you want no matter what anyone else thinks. They can’t think for you, only you know what is right for you. And that can’t be wrong. And when you live this way things will always work out for you. Remember there is great love here for you.

Your loving friend,

Deb Mertan

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