I know I’ve mentioned this before in another blog, but I really want to elaborate on it here. You know what they say about a person that keeps doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results, is considered a crazy person, don’t you? So what needs to happen is for that person is to take another perspective, and try doing things in a manner that will yield to them the results they are wanting. For example: When you want people to be nicer to you, you need to be nicer to you. It all starts on the inside. You need to change from the inside to get the results you want on the outside.
So let’s talk about how you think about yourself. When you say something negative about yourself that you have been saying for a long time, you have a deep emotional attachment about it. You have believed it for so long that it feels like the truth. It feels like who you are. (And a belief is just a thought you keep alive by thinking about it). But the only thing that keeps whatever it is real for you is the emotion you put behind it. I know you’re thinking, “Well that is the way I feel!” And yes that is what I’m talking about. You said the word FEEL. That is a very powerful word. But you know what, you have the power to change the way you feel. You just need to have the willingness and a burning desire to feel differently. You can change everything in your life when you change your feelings about yourself. We do not have the power to change anything or anyone outside of ourselves. We only have the power to change the way we feel and how our emotions manifest.
Now, how do you change how you feel? Well it’s easier than you think. Think about the negative things you say about yourself. Do you feel that deep emotion? That emotion is so powerful that your sub-conscious mind has no choice but to believe it and give you more of it. You see your sub-conscious mind does not reason with you, it just obeys whatever you keep telling it. As long as you keep saying and feeling these ugly things your sub-conscious mind will just keep giving you evidence of it. But you can have that deep emotion in a positive way. The first thing you need to do is figure out what you really want. The way I do this is through meditation. In meditation you can be whomever you want to be. When you relax your mind with the intention of feeling free from the negative thoughts and feelings, and do it for 15 minutes a day for at least 30 days, you will see how the negative thoughts will dissipate and the positive thoughts will take over. And each day after meditation you will little by little start to see more in the world around you, things that will make you smile and bring joy to your heart. It will happen naturally if you give it time. And really expect it to happen because expectation is a way of telling your sub-conscious mind that it is okay to let go of old feelings and beliefs. And let new positive ones in.
You see we all make choices every day whether we realize it or not. If you stub your toe and it makes you mad, that was your choice. You could not get mad and just rub it out and then forget about it and go on with your day. That is also a choice. Or you can have someone cut you off in traffic and get very upset by this, or you could just ignore it and keep driving. You don’t have control of that driver. Maybe they were in a hurry because they got an emergency call to go to the hospital. You don’t know why they are in such a rush. So why not let it go and keep on with your happy journey.
I love the word journey. It is a word that feels like freedom to me. When you are on a journey it feels adventurous and like anything is possible.
I read a book once called” the on Purpose Person” by Kevin W. McCarthy, what I liked about this book is that it made me think about what I say and how I feel with more deliberateness. I actually make choices of how I want to be seen by others. I don’t just go out into the world willy-nilly and let things happen to me. I make the deliberate choice to be happy and to treat others with love and respect. And I always expect to have a great day. I expect that things will always work out for me and they do. Even if someone cuts me off in traffic I don’t get bothered by it. The more I let stuff like that roll off my back the more I can concentrate on my happiness. If it seems silly or too simplistic to you that just by wanting to feel a certain way you can change your feelings, then maybe you have a lot of momentum going in the negative direction. Momentum is another word I like because it shows you where your emotions are. Like Abraham Hicks says, “You can’t stop a train going 100 miles per hour on a dime and get it going in the other direction. That would be way too hard on the train. You have to slow the train down until it comes to a stop and then you can easily move it in the other direction. It will be slow at first, but once you get it going you can go faster and faster until you are at full speed. In this analogy you are the train and your emotion is the fuel or momentum that gets you going.
I think that is why people think that they are not making progress in changing the way they feel. They don’t understand the concept of increments or calibrating. When you are changing something you don’t like you need to give it some time. And when you catch yourself doing or feeling something you don’t like you need to catch it early before the momentum gets going. It’s like when you are fishing for fun. You don’t keep the fish. You catch it and release it and then watch it swim away very quickly. Think of negative thoughts in this way. Just let them swim away. And don’t get mad at yourself if you don’t get this right away. You can laugh it off and remind yourself that this is a work in progress and everything takes practice.
Now go out there and find the beauty in the world. It’s all around you. You just have to open your eyes and let it in. And remember there is always tremendous love here for you.
Sincerely,
Deb Mertan
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